Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.
Monday, April 30, 2007
4/30 - Must... Study...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, April 30, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, I need to study more for my final tomorrow. But, I couldn’t let you guys go without at least a video or two, now could I??
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. Today it was son #4’s turn for a family night lesson. He wanted to talk about the evils of smoking. He also told us how bad it was to smoke “hair-a-wanna”.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thursday, April 26, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s been a busy week. Trying to study for finals, helping kids with home work, yadda yadda... Yesterday I took the older Scouts Geocaching. I haven’t done it (successfully) for awhile, so I thought with a bit of help, we’d do a good job. We did! We found 4 caches. I think one boy in particular had a great time, so I think I’ve hooked another cacher!
Our next big project; People thought I was crazy when I took my sweet wife, son #2, and myself, and joined the stake play in The Sound of Music. We started just months after son #4 had his brain surgery to take out the tumor, and days before my dad died on Christmas day. Yes, looking back, I was nut. But, it kept my mind off of things.
Then, a few months after the play, I took a job in Radiology as a PACS administrator. I didn’t know the first thing about radiology. (Ok, I still don’t...)
Then, I decided, (Well, my boss really...) that since I didn’t know the first thing about radiology, that I ought to go back to school (after 7 years), and learn something. So I did.
So, now I’ve decided that summer time is my family’s time. No school for me. So, what did I do? I volunteered to go on the Trek with my sweet wife and son #1.
In April of 1847, the Mormon Pioneers were forced out of the Midwest, and walked (with hand carts) over 1000 miles to the Salt Lake Valley. Mormon culture is heavily immersed with Pioneer stories of their travels. Many reenact their journey by traveling part of the pioneer trail in Wyoming, with hand carts, dressed in period costume, for a week. I believe its 30 miles in 4 days.
With our musical background, my sweet wife and I have been asked to learn how to play the Irish whistle and to be part of the nightly entertainment. (We’ll also help with cooking and cleaning for 300 people) We’re not required to walk with the “Ma’s and Pa’s and their kids” but, I may for a day or two anyway. So, for the next 90 days (at least after my final on Tuesday) I’ve got a new instrument to learn, and a lot more walking to do during my lunch break! I remember the months preparing for my one week in Joshua Tree National Forest, hiking with Outward Bound. I could tell you stories...
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
Too Late... More Jokes and Videos tomorrow! (maybe...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, April 23, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When new families move into the ward, after a month or so, it’s tradition for them to speak in sacrament meeting. They’re usually given a specific topic to speak on, and then they tell a little bit about themselves too. A good talk (at least by my standards) will include a joke or two. Since I’ve read a million of them, I can usually tell how they are going to end. I seem to have a knack for knowing who sings certain songs of the 70’s 80’s and 90’s too. I usually show my trivial knowledge by saying, “Who sings this?” And since I only ask people (read; my sweet wife) who usually don’t know, or don’t care, I’m always 100% right. (as far as they know anyway...) When this new young lawyer stood up and told a joke about an engineer and a lawyer who got in a car wreck and ended up in hades, I leaned over to my sweet wife and said the punch line, “Where are ~you~ going to get a lawyer?” She smiled and thanked me for ruining yet another joke for her. [BTW, who can tell me what joke goes with that punch line?]
Anyway, the topic on Sunday was relationships. The lawyer spoke about friendships, family relationships, spousal relationships, and our relationship with God. He talked about all kinds of ‘ships’. I think he even talked about our ship coming in. Finally son #4 had had enough. My sweet wife said he leaned over to her and asked, “Why does he keep saying that swear word?”
Um... yeah. Not really.
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
P.s. Did you remember that yesterday was earth day? Did you hear that Sheryl Crow's suggested that we use one square of toilet paper “per sitting” (how quaint...) I think this is the only time I’ve agreed with what Rosie O’Donnell said in response. [I won’t tell you here what she said, but if you know, or look it up, it will bring a smirk to your face.]
=-=-=- Reader Comment Section
[About our Recycling/Unrecycling photo.]
Marty, in answer to your 'recycling' question. In Chinese the one bin is labeled 'can be recycled' and the other is 'cannot be recycled'. Just a matter of Hong Kong people having better Chinese than English....I'm sure they would get a few chuckles if we tried to label things in Chinese (they certainly get more than a few chuckles from my Chinese. We are still a few more months in HK before heading for three years to Mongolia. Allen
Did you hear about the two guys who decided to try duck hunting? They bought new outfits & equipment, and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was really good. But after several hours of thrashing through the woods, one fellow said, "I don't know about this. We've been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck. Do you think we're doing something wrong?" "I don't know," replied the other. "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough."
"Last week President Bush created the world's largest protected marine area, dubbed the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands National Monument. It contains sea life that has inspired some of our most breathtaking screensavers." ~Jon Stewart
Two men walk into a bar. One sits at one end of the bar and the other at the opposite end. The bartender asks the first man what he wants. I'll have a Frizzle...that's a beer with a splash of tonic, a splash of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon, no lime." Then the man at the other end of the bar orders. "Make mine a Frizzle. It’s a beer with just a bit of tonic, a bit of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon, but no lime." The astonished bartender makes the drinks. Then he asks the first man what he does for a living. "I am a theoretical mathematician at the university." Then he asks the other man what he does. "Theoretical mathematician at the college." "This is remarkable," says the bartender. "You both order a drink that I've never heard of. You have the identical profession and you both walk into my bar on the same day at the same time. What are the odds on something like that happening?" Both men look up and answer in unison, "Twelve trillion, nine hundred, and eighty-seven billion to one."
I did this as a kid. Not so much the performing for others, but I was a brilliant arm pit musician!
Does anyone read Chinese? I'm dying to know what 'unrecycling' is! We had a good friend in Hong Kong up until the last few months. Maybe he's still around and can help us out on this one...
RECYCLING..... and .....UNRECYCLING cans???
And finally, one last "hilarious" story.
Boys Contaminate W.Va. Town With Mercury; Mayor: "Boys will be boys,"
11:18 PDT Clendenin, W.Va. (AP) -- A group of boys playing with mercury swiped from a dental office created an environmental headache for one small town after tracking it into their school, homes and church and up the steps of the public library.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wednesday, April 18, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun, moon, and stars all lined up tonight. No Scouts, Relief Society meetings, or school. After dinner I asked, “do we have anything to do tonight?” Everyone said, “No!” It doesn’t happen that often on a Wednesday night, so we decided to watch a move we had rented; “Akeelah and the Bee”. It’s about a girl in a poor neighborhood in LA who goes to the Scripts Spelling Bee.
There were a lot of impressive words in there, but the second to last spelling word of the movie really got my boys rolling on the floor. “Logorrhea.” (pronounced Log-Oh-Ree-ah) They thought that was the funniest thing in the world. “That kid looked like he was about to have a logorrhea dad!” They laughed and laughed on that one...
Then again, if you look at the word, it really is kinda funny. “logo” can mean voice, words, or to know. “rrhea” as in diarrhea, means... well, we all know what it means. Logorrhea literally means “excessive flow of words”. So, I guess my boys really did know what they were laughing at.
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. Ok, that was kind of lame. But, it took up a bit of space. Here’s another funny; at dinner tonight we had meatloaf with baked potatoes. When son #4 bit into his potato, he said, “That’s hot!” I quickly said, “Yo Momma...” paused for just a second, and thought, ‘sure’ and finished my thought saying, “Yo Momma’s hot!” and looked over to my sweet wife to wink. Son #4 looked at me as if to roll his eyes and said, “Yeah, dad. ~that~ was a good one.”
I don’t think my sweet wife liked that comment.
Reader Comment section
Tooth fairy stuff. Six kids and I couldn't even get it right for the first one. I ended up telling her there was no tooth fairy, it was me (man did that break her heart…) but what we ended up doing turned out to be pretty cool and we continued on until there just weren't any more teeth to lose. We would make it a game to see if I could sneek / switch the tooth for the money without them catching me. I never did get caught. Before that, sometimes it would take the tooth fairy up to a week to get to our house. After that, at bed time she/they would remind me to try to sneek in. Turned out to be pretty neat, actually.
Thanks for letting me share. Thanks for sharing your adventures and being such a good example, going back to college!... Lois
Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire fixture, no small feat for a non-plumber.
Jammed inside the drain was a purple rubber dinosaur, which belonged to my five-year-old son.
I painstakingly got all the toilet parts together again, the tank filled, and I flushed it. However, it didn't work much better than before! As I pondered what to do next, my son walked into the bathroom. I pointed to the purple dinosaur I had just dislodged and told him that the toilet still wasn't working. "Did you get the green one, too?" he asked.
* Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.
* Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.
* Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
* No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.
* Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).
* If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
* Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tuesday, April 17, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another test in Biology lab today. I think I did pretty good, but again, we’ll just have to wait and see. Not much happening today in the funny boy raising department.
How about the weather? It was almost 70º today, tomorrow it’s supposed to snow. That’s Utah weather for ya.
Enjoy today’s offerings.
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
=-=-=- Reader Comments
[About Imus] Marty, I'm a little behind on my emails, but I just wanted to let you know I agree with you 100% about Imus! Like you, I think what he said was stupid, but no worse then what others on the radio and tv have said who are allowed to make such comments with impunity. It was definitely a double standard and it wasn't fair. Eddie
[About the Tooth Fairy] Hate to admit I can top that, but I can top that. For me, it seems my middle son (of my 3 sons) seems to get it the worst. The first night we forgot. We reminded him that two other kids at church had teeth out - they each had had several pulled. Maybe the tooth fairy got too busy and couldn't make it across town? The second night, we forgot. Well maybe she couldn't find it, was it too far under the pillow, lost in the sheets? After the third night of forgetting, my son came in my room in tears. I went to his room with him, my wheels were turning - how could I be such a bad mom? I told him hang on, I've got to talk to dad. Back in my bedroom I quickly got out my fairy supplies (yes, I have supplies) I rubbed a little glue on the $2 bill, sprinkled it lightly with glitter - fairy dust. Then for the big lie. Son, I think I know what happened. Last night your dad heard something, he went to see what it was - I THINK HE SCARED AWAY THE TOOTH FAIRY. Come here quick (over to the front door). Look, what's that? Of course, I had already dropped the prepared $2 bill on the floor.... MH - Wyoming
[Fwew. Someone else worse than we are at the Tooth fair game!]
As a realtor, I deal with all types of people. Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the fantastic view from the living room. But when I dramatically pulled back the drapes, the disappointed husband asked, "Where is the view? Those mountains must be blocking it."
1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?" 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, April 16, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last night son #4 had his second tooth come out. You have to remember that each loose tooth that comes out of his head is a blessing because we’re not sure HOW screwed up his noodle is going to be because of his radiation treatments. So, a 2nd adult tooth that comes in is a blessing.
But, even with such a momentous occasion, the tooth fairy forgot (again...) to leave some money under the pillow. [If you have the chance again, don’t ever be a 4th child. I don’t think that ever happened with son #1...]
So, this morning son #4 came up to my sweet wife and said, “Mom, the tooth fairy left my tooth, but forgot to leave any money.” My quick thinking wife snuck a couple of bucks and said, “Are you sure? Let’s go double check.” And they walked back into his room. “Oh, here it is. You probably just didn’t see it.” He was as happy as a clam. So when I saw him tonight, my sweet wife said, “Tell dad what happened this morning.” He told the story and said, “And I just didn’t see the money dad. Mom helped me find it though, so it’s ok.”
Now, are we terrible parents or what? First, lying to a 6 year old about the tooth fairy, then playing off of a legally blind 6 year old to pull the switcheroo with a couple of bucks, and on top of that, having the dad confirm the deed by saying, ‘Isn’t that great son. Your mom is such a good mom.” I know we’re going to have to pay for these sins some day, some how...
Tonight, we decided to have family night on the road. After finishing up my dad’s stupid income tax stuff earlier this year (he didn’t pay income taxes for the 5 years before he died. And what a mess that was...), we were able to sell one of his properties. The new owners asked us to clean out my dad’s storage closet. So, for family night, we met at the old property and hauled out more of my dad’s stuff. (Who knows where we’re going to put MORE of his stuff at my house, which is currently bursting at the seams...) Afterwards the boys said, “Let’s go out to eat dad!” I told them I wasn’t hungry and could eat at home. But, on the way home, I got a craving for a good old Chicago Dog.
There is a new place in town called JohnnieBeefs. And, it does a fair job with the Chicago dog. Not quite the ‘snappy skin’ type dogs you get in Chicago, but nevertheless, a pretty good imitation. (My sweet wife loves to tell the story about the time we were at Gene and Judes in River Grove Illinois west of Chicago. She wanted some ketchup for the kids’ fries. So, while I waited in the van, she went back in. She said the place got deathly quiet while the lady behind the counter scolded her for even ~thinking~ about asking for ketchup. Well, there you go.)
At JonnieBeefs, at least they have ketchup. Anyway, we had a good healthy (??) dinner on family night, and son #4 even at two full Chicago dogs!
For tonight’s video offering, I found a tooth pulling video. It’s of a cute little 6 year old girl. But, they might be coddling her just a wee bit. I found a second video of the same girl, several years later, all grown up, getting a surprise birthday gift. You’ll love today’s videos.
Tooth Pulling Video
Now, here's the same Girl, all grown up... Ok, not really, but as far as I can see, this video is real. Not something I'd want all over the internet. (But then she's not my kid...) Enjoy
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
=-=-=- Reader Comment Section
[About Phone numbers on the internet]
Hi Marty, Once Sally's name is on the internet there's not a lot you can do. You can pay the Phone Co a monthly fee to not publish it in the first place. But you know the answer; Get a new number and use Vonage! Be sure to say Marty sent you. [That's what The Shadow Knows (grin)] I really enjoy your blog, and tho I don't write often, your family is usually in my prayers. ~Randy in Sacramento.
Marty, I know how to get your phone# separated from your name & address on the internet. Go to www.whitepages.com, look yourself up and use the remove option. It worked for me. ~Amber K. in CA
[And about the double standard] As far as I'm concerned, you're 100% right, Marty!!! But hey... If Jackson and Sharpton didn't start up all the racial controversy, they wouldn't get anymore money from the idiots that fund them... ...Why would either of them stick their noses in any of these cases if not for profit? ~Cookie
We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?" There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."
FLORENCE, S.C. - Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama (news, bio, voting record) on Friday questioned the way some rappers talk about women in songs, saying the lyrics are similar to the derogatory language used by embattled radio host Don Imus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday, April 13, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, what the heck. I’ve got the day off and a few minutes, and I couldn’t let Friday the 13th go by without an issue! So, let’s jump right in and do it.
Do you have triskaidekaphobia? Let’s hope not.
triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun: A morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th.
Hmm... not me. I just happy there’s a FRIDAY in front of the 13th!
I’ve been looking at some of the logs that are generated by the web site. People come to the site looking for the weirdest things. Here’s a list of recent keywords. Or, what people search for and find my site. It’s kind of interesting.
“craniotomy dissolvable stitches” [Ok, I can see where you’d land on my site from this search. Son #4’s brain tumor and all. Not that weird.]
“turtle in the tub joke” [Wow, I guess I did write about speedy and zippy back in September of 2004. Amazing what the internet can find ‘eh?]
“dog does heimlich maneuver david letterman Youtube” [Now this I’d like to see. That dog would be almost as cool as buddie!]
“it hurts in the sternum when i swallow food” [Hmm... I’m not sure my site is going to help you here. But, you never know.]
“humor don't forget to pay your taxes by monday, march 16.....” [Uh, yeah. But I have until the 17th for my taxes. You see, Monday April 16th is some obscure federal holiday. I call it “Extra Tax Day Day”]
“faye turney jokes” [Who is Fay Turney? Oh, yeah, that 15th Army lady who talked back to the Iran president. Now her husband has been kidnapped, her dog mutilated, and her cable tv just got shut off. (Ok, just kidding on those.)]
sally bytheway [Ah, a great choir director. I should get back into choral singing. I just need another week a month.]
So, there you have it. The ramblings of a guy with a day off.
It’s a ‘no joke’ Joke of the day Friday. But, here are a few more videos.
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
=-=-=- Videos of the day
My sweet wife sent me this one. Really cool artists stuff...
When Graphic Artists Get Bored - Amazing display of animal pictures changed into weird and wonderful things. And the music is by the "Blue man Group"
And for the guys in the crowd. What happens if you drive behind a 747?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thursday, April 12, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy folks, I don’t know what to say. I really don’t want to start a controversy, and this isn’t really a political blog. But I think MSNBC and CBS are making the wrong decision. They fired Don Imus. I’ve never listened to the guy. Ever. I’ve heard what he said, and he was wrong. Stupidly wrong. Have I ever been stupid? Yes. Have I ever been wrong? Uh, yeah, just about every day. I’m not whining about his being fired for what he said on his show, but what I’m a bit miffed about is the double standard of CBS and MSNBC. Did they make tons of money on Mr. Imus? Yes. Do they make money on music? Yes. Do they make money on R&B and Hip Hop music? I think so. Have you ever looked at the lyrics of the top 10 hip hop songs? They lyrics and themes are far worse than what Mr. Imus said. It’s a double standard, and I don’t think it’s fair.
I just don’t get it. Maybe I should stick to writing about stupid and wrong things my little clan does.
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
[Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men. Only The ....... knows.] [Who can tell me what radio program THAT was from?]
It's The Shadow, Lamont Cranston. Only he knows for sure. ~#1 Mom
[At least I know my mom reads me...]
Today’s Video Section
Just a sweet little video about a boy and his pet anaconda
Cool Picture Section
Check out these helmets <>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son... May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage. A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet." ~Wanda D.
An older man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you've been giving to Mrs. Smith." "Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?" The old man says, "Since he found out I've been on birth control pills since December."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wednesday, April 11, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The older boys have a rough time with grades at the beginning of the quarter. If they don’t get high enough, they can’t play computer or watch TV. At the beginning of the quarter, one late 15 point assignment can really kill their grades. So, both #1 and #2 are down for a few days. Hopefully, the banishment will be short lived.
Now, on the other hand, it’s great that they get off of the computer and do ~something~. After homework tonight they got out the old Monopoly game. (That and Risk are my two favorite games in the entire world.) When I came upstairs tonight, they were yelling at each other just like young boys should, and the next second they were all laughing together. They did me proud.
One thing I’ve always tried to teach my boys is, if they get in trouble and earn a punishment, admit it if they are wrong, and take the punishment like a man. No whining. My boys do a pretty good job at it. But, in today’s world, it’s not easy with all of the poor roll models around. People are such whiners and don’t take responsibility for their actions. I say, if you’ve done something wrong, fess up, take your lumps, and learn from it. You’ll be twice the person for doing so. The people who say, “It’s not my fault” (when it is) or “I did it because of this, that, or the other thing,” or “I had a rough life...” really get my goat. I had an experience today that just made me shake my head. Some people are just... corrupt. I’ll have to tell you about it someday.
But now, it’s time to watch the last episode of Chad Vader. It’s a cliff hanger too...
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
=-=-=- Reader Comments
Hi Marty, I seldom disagree with you, but don't you think you're being paranoid about the phone numbers? I went through my address book and picked out 10 people I know and entered their numbers in Google and NONE came up with addresses. I did put in my dentist and it was a hit, but if I have his number I can just call him and ask for the address. As for children, they are much more likely to tell a stranger their name than their phone number. Since at least back to the `30's you could look up names in a thing called a Phone Book and find an address. With an address you can look at a thing called a Map and find the house. [In Utah you seldom need a map with the grid system of numbering] It looks like computers distort some people's view of reality. Bottom line; Children should be aware of strangers and information. Randy in Sacramento
[Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men. Only The ....... knows.] [Who can tell me what radio program THAT was from? Actually Randy, I tend to agree with you somewhat, but it makes for good filler don’t it? (grin)]
Marty, I have not been able to figure out how to block my phone #. I clicked on my # everytime I saw it, to no avail. It's scary to think that someone could find my house that easily!! Love your BLOG! I just started school, too, so I know how hard that can be. Sally
[Sorry, can’t help ya. Randy might know... hehehe]
=-=-=- Cool Pictures from cool places. (Thanks to reader Doug L. for these gems!)
These pictures are of Ithaa, the unique undersea restaurant that opened at the Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa Rangali Island in April 2005. Ithaa - a word meaning "pearl" in the local Dhivehi language - is a tiny restaurant by resort hotel standards (it seats only 12), but it offers diners a "spectacular underwater view of colorful fish, sharks and other sea life in the surrounding coral reefs through curved, transparent acrylic walls." Guests begin their visits with drinks on a deck overhanging the Indian Ocean, then descend to the restaurant (16 feet underwater) via a spiral staircase, where they indulge in meals of contemporary Maldivian fusion cuisine served in four courses. (The cost per person for dinner ranges from $187 to $220.)
Lots of pictures today, so only one video. Chad Vader Episode 7 (The last one, for now...)
Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch.
She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to just boil the sauce again and it should be fine.
That night, the phone rang during dinner, and one of the guests volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tuesday, April 10, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Darn, if I shoulda, woulda, coulda, studied a bit more for my test today, I could have done better. But, everything is pulling my strings every which way. (Then my #1 mom sends me a letter that I put in our 3rd joke spot today. Just a wee bit more pressure. [grin] Although I did invite her to lunch last Friday which she politely declined...) Anyway, I won’t know what the results of my Biology test until Thursday and no sense worrying about it now. I just need a good enough grade so work will pay for the classes.
While I was at school, my sweet wife went to her ISA meeting. and son #1 was at Scouts. So, #2, #3 and #4 were at Grandmas. I stopped by to pick them up and they were watching the history channel. It was “All About Plumbing” or something like that. They were really interested, especially when they showed the inventor of the flush toilet, Thomas Crapper. The boys were rolling on the floor laughing when the lady said, “and people started saying where going to the crapper, because that’s what the toilet said on it.” The boys thought that was the funniest thing in the world. Then they started getting even sillier telling Crapper joke. Even son #4 got into the act. But, when we started to leave I got serious and told them, “Ok, enough Thomas Crapper jokes. We’ve had our fun, but that’s the end. Ok?” They stopped joking but were still smiling.
I actually have a pretty good bunch of boys. They know when to have fun, and when to stop. At least most of the time...
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
=-=-=- Headline news;
Remember the female Marine who was captured by Iran for 13 days. Pretty interesting what she said to Ahmadinejad before she left. I’d have thought about giving him what-for, but not sure I would have...
Faye's blast at squirming tyrant GUTSY Faye Turney turned the tables on Iranian tyrant Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as he freed her in front of TV cameras — making him SQUIRM.
=-=-=- Today’s Video Section
Here’s a cool little video that was on Good Morning America. This guy made a cool video of kitchen sounds. It’s “A song made entirely with things I found in my kitchen. It starts slow, but gets going fast! It carries a reference to my previous video 'Pancakes'. As seen on ABC's Good Morning America!”
And, of course, it couldn’t be a whole day without Chad Vader episode 6!
My sister-in-law Bonnie was very busy one day working in her house. She had just gotten to the basement after quite a few trips up and down when she heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly, she ran back up the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other end. "Hello, is this Bonnie D?"
"We are calling people in your area and would like to know if you would help us by participating in a brief survey."
Without missing a beat, she told them, "I'm very busy right now. You will have to survey your own briefs."
Google has implemented a new feature which enables you to type a telephone number into the search bar and hit enter and you will be given the person's name and address. If you then hit MapQuest, you will get a map to the person's house. Everyone should be aware of this! It's a nationwide reverse telephone book.
If a child gives out his/her phone number, someone can now look it up to find out where he/she lives. The safety issues are obvious, and alarming.
Note that you can have your phone number removed or blocked. I tried my number and it came up along with the mapquest and directions straight to our house. I did fill out the removal form for myself, and encourage all of you to do the same. Quite scary.
Please look up your own number.
In order to test whether your phone number is mapped, go to: google (http://www.google.com/) Type your phone number in the search bar (i.e. 555-555-1212) and hit enter. If you want to BLOCK Google from divulging your private information, simply click on your telephone number and then click on the Removal Form. Removal takes 48-hours.
Check your own number and although this may not apply to you if you have an unlisted number or cell phone as primary contact, but you may know someone who needs to know this.
Please share this information with friends and family.
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What's wrong, are you well," she asked?
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date.
She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.
An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates – one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, April 09, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I made the ultimate sacrifice tonight. After a dinner of burgers on the grill (son #2 cooked ‘em!) and lots of goodies, we had a quick family home evening lesson. Last week, just before Easter, son #3 and #4 went to a Primary activity and made a family home evening chart. It has stars on it with everyone’s names that you can move to different responsibilities. I was conducting and had the lesson tonight. Others were assigned for the opening song, opening prayer, etc. etc. Tonight we talked about the Holy Ghost, and how it helps you know right from wrong. After the lesson, son #1 had the activity part. They wanted to watch a movie so my sweet wife ran to the video store and got ‘Ferris Bueller's Day Off’ All 4 of my boys were rolling on the floor laughing and as my sweet wife said, “taking notes”. Oh, wonderful. Anyway, I made the ultimate sacrifice and tried to study for my test when the rest of the family was watching the flick. I did get some good studying in. But, we’ll know for sure in a couple of days.
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. My sweet wife said she hadn’t read her emails since Wednesday, and asked how many Chad Vader videos there were. (7) She said she thought they were, “cute”, and as she left she said, “that poor chad...” Oh, I guess.
p.p.s. Hey, have you ever done a 5K race before? How about for a great cause? We’re all about brain tumor research here, so if you’re on the east coast, (and even if you’re not...) check out this year’s Race for Hope at www.curebraintumors.org
Tiring of the inconvenience of the drive from airport to country cottage, a man equipped his small plane with pontoons so he could land on the lake directly in front of his cottage. On his next trip, he made his approach down the airport runway as usual. Alarmed, his wife cried out, "Are you crazy? You can't land this plane here without wheels!" The startled husband abruptly yanked the nose up, narrowly averting certain disaster. Continuing, he landed the plane on the lake without mishap. As he sat there, visibly shaken he said to his wife, "I don't know what got into me. That's the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life!" And with that, he opened the door and stepped out, falling into the water. ~Wanda D. <>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>
"It's been reported today that Democrats in California are trying to find a candidate to run against Arnold Schwarzenegger. Unfortunately, the only candidate who's as qualified as Schwarzenegger is Vin Diesel" ~Conan O'Brien
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken." A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building. "What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. "There's plenty of time left!"
4/7 - How many activities can you pack into one day?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Saturday, April 07, 2007 [Our 450th post!] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a busy Saturday. We went to an Easter Egg Hunt, Home Depot Kids workshop, trap shooting, and Geocaching. (I’ll get to that studying soon, I promise...) I’ve posted a couple of pics online of the boys today.
Also, some have asked where Chad Vader episode 4 is. It’s now posted. Enjoy!
And, speaking of shooting and clay pigeons, I’m also posted “clay pigeons are for wimps” video online.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thursday, April 05, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, I stayed up late last night so I could enter my taxes on-line. I don’t know why I wait so long, and I ask myself that every year. I could see if I had to pay, I’d wait until the last second, but when I get a refund... Oh, well, at least it’s not the 17th today.
The boys have this weekend off, so it should be fun. I’ll have to think of something fun to do with them. Maybe we’ll go trap shooting. Or, maybe I’ll break the bank and go skiing again. Or, maybe I’ll do yard work and study for my Biology test on Tuesday. Decision decisions...
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. Check out part II of Chad Vader on the web site!
p.p.s. We had several more entries after I groveled for emails yesterday. Here are the answers to our puzzle pictures from Tuesday night. 1) Light Beer 2) Dandy Lions 3) Assaulted Peanut
The state trooper pulled Mr. Schwarz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist that he was going to have to spend the night in jail. "What's the charge? Mr. Schwarz demanded. "None," replied the officer. "It's all part of the service."
I feel it is my duty to warn everyone of a major problem, one that endangers lives, damages property and causes untold misery, a growing menace that can be summed up in three words: men doing laundry. At first glance, MDL may not seem like a big problem, especially to members of the female species, who generally prefer MDL to WDL. But the evidence is overwhelming. MDL has resulted in millions of discolored clothes, billions of missing socks, and countless broken relationships. Wife: "Did you remember to separate the clothes before washing them?" Husband: "Yes, of course I did. I put the whites at the bottom and the colors on top." Wife: "You idiot, you were supposed to wash them separately. You obviously don't know what separation means, but trust me, you're about to find out!"
In the world of romance, one single rule applies. Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2) Named Tina (-10) Who is a dancer (-20)
HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner (+2) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3) Okay, it's a sports bar (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie (+1) You take her to a movie she likes (+3) You take her to a movie you hate (+6) You take her to a movie you like (-2) It's called 'Death Cop' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what] You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000) ~Wanda D.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wednesday, April 04, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahh... finally a night that I don’t have something to do! School, Family night, Camping, Scouts, and date nights keep me busy. But the Scouts went last night, and it’s not date or school night, so I’m free! Before I left work today, I told my co-worker, “quiz me tomorrow. Ask me if I finally sent my taxes in.”
So, I had a good dinner with the kids while my sweet wife went off to Relief Society. I came down to do taxes and son #3 begged me to play Brood Wars with him. I’m a sucker for Brood Wars. Now, not only to I have to confess not doing my taxes, I also get to feel guilty for not studying for a biology test that’s coming up on Tuesday. *sigh* I guess I can’t win the right games. But, playing with son #3 is something, right? (plus, I smoked him!)
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. I uploaded 3 of the best pics of son #4 skiing yesterday. Goof’n around, skiing with the instructor, and doing the Superman thing.
p.p.s. Ok, there are a ton of cool videos out there. I’m going to start to put some extra ones in once in awhile. Check out Chad Vader. A series of videos I found. Then there’s a dinner in the sky. Would you pay a fortune to sit up there and eat? Plus, what whould happen if you have to go to the bathroom?
p.p.p.s. I only got one submission for the puzzle pics, so I’ll give you one more day...
=-=-=- Son #3 Pics
Goof'n at the lodge
Skiing backwards taking a picture.
=-=-=- Funny Picture section If military spending gets cut, this is what we’ll end up with ~Krystal B.
Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her an ice cream cone. The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?" The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there." The owner raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a cone? Never know... she might say yes." The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right. How likely is THAT to happen?" ~Wanda D.
Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"
"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tuesday, April 03, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Son #4 and I had a great time skiing today. It’s spring, and the snow skiing season is winding down, so the snow was pretty wet and slushy (comparatively speaking. It was still pretty good for skiing). I had my short rental skis (easier to control but slower) and a bit more confidence than 2 weeks ago. I got some good (wonderful cell phone) pictures of son #4 skiing while I skied in front of him, backwards(!). Skiing must be like riding a bike, because I didn’t forget a thing. (Of course, I was on the bunny hill all day, but still...) I’ll have to get the pics off of my phone and uploaded them, maybe tomorrow.
Son #4 wanted to impress me by not hanging on to a pole with his instructor. He did it all day! We even raced on 4 different runs. (Ok, he ‘beat’ me on 3 of the runs, but my competitive nature wouldn’t let him win all 4!) When I told him to lean forward so he’d go faster, his instructor told him to put his hands out in front of him like superman. Now, close your eyes and imagine a little kid, book’n down the ski slopes, leaning forward, hands in front of him, singing the superman theme song, with a “impaired vision” orange vest on. No wonder half of the slope looked at him and smiled. He was having a wonderful time!
On the other hand, there was this ‘new’ skier. You can kind of tell who they are. He had on all of the fancy clothes, skiing out of control, and almost running into everyone. (Hey, wait; everyone was wearing fancy clothes, it was Park City after all!) He almost ran into son #4 but just clipped the back of his skis. At the end of the day, he was laying at the bottom of the hill, ski patrol all around him, with his leg in a huge splint. I turned to son #4’s instructor and said, “Oh, I remember him.” She smiled and said, “Yeah, me too...”
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. Today’s video is a prank in the park I wish I would have come up with. I’d have love to do it!
p.p.s. In Today’s Puzzle Picture section, I’ve posted some pictures sent in by my old buddy Doug L. Look at them and tell me what they are supposed to be. If I get enough response, I’ve got a few more I’ll post!
=-=-=- Reader Comment Section
Marty, I think you may be studying a bit too much. You typed, Thank you all for your PATIENTS. Best joke of the day. ~Amber in CA.
[Thanks Amber. I think that one works both ways...]
=-=-=- Today’s Video Section
I wish I would have thought of this!
=-=-=- Today’s Puzzle Picture Section
What do these represent? Send your answers in today! <>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>
A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" The cousin smirked and replied, "Depends on how fast ya carry it!" ~Wanda D.
When I worked for the security department of a large retail store, my duties included responding to fire and burglar alarms. A side door of the building was wired with a security alarm, because it was not supposed to be used by customers. Nevertheless they found the convenience of the exit tempting. Even a sign with large red letters, warning "Alarm will sound if opened," failed to deter people from using it. One day, after attending to a number of shrieking alarms, I placed a small handmade sign on the door that totally eliminated the problem: "Wet paint." ~#1 Mom
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, April 02, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had a great conference weekend. On Friday son #2 and I went downtown to sing at a Young Men’s open house. It was a training session for young men leaders in the Church. We had a men and boys choir of about 50 voices, all dressed in Class A Scout uniforms or suits and ties. We sounded pretty good too. Oh yeah, and they asked us to shave any facial hair. So, I did. After several years, you can see a bald faced pic of me that son #3 snapped this weekend.
After we sang and had lunch, we raced home, got packed up, and went camping with Grandma and Grandpa and one of the Kearns cousins. Grandma and Grandpa bought an older RV unit to ‘try out’ this summer to see if they like the RV life. You can kind of tell how old it is by the Disco lighting in one of the pictures on the web. We were all excited to try it out, but 9 of us didn’t fit very well in the 25 foot (or was that 20 foot) RV. So, my sweet wife and I got to sleep in our 10 man tent. (Along with an electric heater of course!)
We listened to conference, played games, and son #3 and I had a long walk around Palisades lake. We took the GPS and walked about 2 miles up and down the mountain, saw several deer, and took some great pictures of the views. (see them on the web – http://martysjotd.blogspot.com )
Tonight, since sons #1 and #2 made it through the last quarter with some (barely) passing grades, we decided to go to Chuck-a- Rama and out to see ‘Night at the museum’ at the dollar theater to celebrate. (The dollar theater is only 50¢ on Family night!). Dinner (as with most any buffet) was really good, and the boys really liked the movie. I thought it was just so-so, but they talked about their favorite parts all the way home. So, another successful family home evening.
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. Have you ever heard about the Grand Canyon Walkway? It looks like it’s now open. You can walk out on a skywalk, 4000 feet above the canyon floor. Something I’d like to do someday. Anyway, check out today’s video about it.
p.p.s. Skiing with son #4 tomorrow!
Kearns Cousin and the Disco RV
Son #4 and #3 in front of a garbage can. Yes, always a good thing to have in a picture of your kids...
Son #4 and I goofing around in the tent
And more goofing
Son #3 at the 'tree playground'
Son #3 and a duck
A deer son #3 and I saw
=-=-=- Reader Comment Section
[On Duplicate emails on Thursday morning]
Believe me....there were more sites than yours from Yahoo groups doing mass mailings! So it wasn't just you! ~Linda
Marty, Thursday I received eight copies of your 'JOTD' and then later I was at a luncheon and a friend mentioned he had received several copies of some mails. After investigating he found it was caused by a glitch in the yahoo program. He told me yahoo had since fixed it. I don't think you did anything wrong. Keep on keepin' on, ~Bob B.
[Yep, I got a few more emails about the dupe message from YahooGroups on Thursday. Hopefully it will stay fixed for awhile. Thanks everyone, for your patients. Marty]
=-=-=- Video of the Day
Grand Canyon Skywalk
=-=-=- Picture of the day
China appears to be the first country to install outdoor public urinals that are actually intended for daytime usage. Would you, or wouldn’t you?
A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. "It seems everyone is out to get me lately. How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked. The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky. "You mean," asked the motorist, "that I'm not just being paranoid? Even *He* is trying to get me?" ~Wanda
"On this day in 1844 the Young Men's Christian Association, the YMCA, was founded. It was founded by a small group of friends: a construction worker, an Indian chief, a cop, a soldier, a cowboy...they all met at a disco." ~Jay Leno
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say, 'well done'?" "Oh, thank you, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
_____ "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8 _____ "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 _____ "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5 _____ "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6 _____ "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4 _____ "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7 _____ "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 _____ "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 _____ "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7 _____ "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6 _____ "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8 _____ "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6 _____ "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5 _____ "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford ." Chris - age 7 _____ "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day" Mary Ann - age 4 _____ "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4 _____ "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7 _____ "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8 ~#1 Mom