Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, April 16, 2007

4/16 - Chicago Loose Tooth Dog

Monday, April 16, 2007

Last night son #4 had his second tooth come out. You have to
remember that each loose tooth that comes out of his head is a
blessing because we’re not sure HOW screwed up his noodle is going
to be because of his radiation treatments. So, a 2nd adult tooth
that comes in is a blessing.

But, even with such a momentous occasion, the tooth fairy forgot
(again...) to leave some money under the pillow. [If you have the
chance again, don’t ever be a 4th child. I don’t think that ever
happened with son #1...]

So, this morning son #4 came up to my sweet wife and said, “Mom,
the tooth fairy left my tooth, but forgot to leave any money.” My
quick thinking wife snuck a couple of bucks and said, “Are you
sure? Let’s go double check.” And they walked back into his room.
“Oh, here it is. You probably just didn’t see it.” He was as happy
as a clam. So when I saw him tonight, my sweet wife said, “Tell
dad what happened this morning.” He told the story and said, “And
I just didn’t see the money dad. Mom helped me find it though, so
it’s ok.”

Now, are we terrible parents or what? First, lying to a 6 year old
about the tooth fairy, then playing off of a legally blind 6 year
old to pull the switcheroo with a couple of bucks, and on top of
that, having the dad confirm the deed by saying, ‘Isn’t that great
son. Your mom is such a good mom.” I know we’re going to have to
pay for these sins some day, some how...

Tonight, we decided to have family night on the road. After
finishing up my dad’s stupid income tax stuff earlier this year
(he didn’t pay income taxes for the 5 years before he died. And
what a mess that was...), we were able to sell one of his
properties. The new owners asked us to clean out my dad’s storage
closet. So, for family night, we met at the old property and
hauled out more of my dad’s stuff. (Who knows where we’re going to
put MORE of his stuff at my house, which is currently bursting at
the seams...) Afterwards the boys said, “Let’s go out to eat dad!”
I told them I wasn’t hungry and could eat at home. But, on the way
home, I got a craving for a good old Chicago Dog.

There is a new place in town called JohnnieBeefs. And, it does a
fair job with the Chicago dog. Not quite the ‘snappy skin’ type
dogs you get in Chicago, but nevertheless, a pretty good
imitation. (My sweet wife loves to tell the story about the time
we were at Gene and Judes in River Grove Illinois west of Chicago.
She wanted some ketchup for the kids’ fries. So, while I waited in
the van, she went back in. She said the place got deathly quiet
while the lady behind the counter scolded her for even ~thinking~
about asking for ketchup. Well, there you go.)

At JonnieBeefs, at least they have ketchup. Anyway, we had a good
healthy (??) dinner on family night, and son #4 even at two full
Chicago dogs!

For tonight’s video offering, I found a tooth pulling video. It’s
of a cute little 6 year old girl. But, they might be coddling her
just a wee bit. I found a second video of the same girl, several
years later, all grown up, getting a surprise birthday gift.
You’ll love today’s videos.

Tooth Pulling Video

Now, here's the same Girl, all grown up...
Ok, not really, but as far as I can see, this video
is real. Not something I'd want all over the internet.
(But then she's not my kid...)

Enjoy Today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section

[About Phone numbers on the internet]

Hi Marty, Once Sally's name is on the internet there's not a lot
you can do. You can pay the Phone Co a monthly fee to not publish
it in the first place. But you know the answer; Get a new number
and use Vonage! Be sure to say Marty sent you. [That's what The
Shadow Knows (grin)] I really enjoy your blog, and tho I don't
write often, your family is usually in my prayers.
~Randy in Sacramento.

Marty, I know how to get your phone# separated from your name &
address on the internet. Go to www.whitepages.com, look yourself
up and use the remove option. It worked for me.
~Amber K. in CA

[And about the double standard]
As far as I'm concerned, you're 100% right, Marty!!! But hey... If
Jackson and Sharpton didn't start up all the racial controversy,
they wouldn't get anymore money from the idiots that fund them...
...Why would either of them stick their noses in any of these
cases if not for profit?


Get on with the Jokes already!


Following Directions;

Follow these steps in order:

1. Go to http://maps.google.com

2. Type in (without quotes) “from new york to paris france”

3. Scroll down in the directions list to number 24.

4. Laugh a moment, and then forward this email this to anyone else
who needs a good laugh.

~Stan D.


We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and
several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one
point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a
talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does
anyone know what the bishop does?" There was silence. Finally, one
little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move

~Wanda D.


So as not to be outdone by all the Redneck, Hillbilly, and Texan
jokes, somebody had to come up with this. (Tongue in cheek, of

You know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a
conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring,
and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans
are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and

8. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

9. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

10. Unlike back home, the guy sitting in Starbucks at 8:30 a.m.
wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George
Clooney really IS George Clooney.

11. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

12. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH."

13. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are
all busy with their cell phones or Ipods.

14. Its barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an
hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

15. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal
trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

16. The Terminator is your governor.

17. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If
you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

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