Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

12/28 - Home surgery

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Today we went to the plastic surgeon for son #4’s post-op check
up. We were running late and the roads were snowy, so I drove as
fast as I could and ‘white knuckled’ it all the way to the
University. When we arrived literally one minute early, they said,
“Oh, sorry, he hasn’t arrived yet, and when he does get here,
he’ll be at least an hour late.” Oh wonderful. I said, “It would
have been nice if someone could have called and let us know...”
The receptionist didn’t answer.

So we left and went to exchange some of Santa’s gifts while we
waited for the doc. When we were done, we walked back into the
docs office 90 minutes later. We got to see him within 10 minutes.
Both surgeons were there, (including the Doogie Howser one ).
As we talked with the surgeons about his bone graft, son #4
listened and asked questions and answered correctly (with his
impish grin of course). Then the doc asked something and son #4
answered with an answer well beyond his years. The doc looked him
squarely in the eye and said, “Thank you. And, how old did you say
you were?” son #4 answered quickly and then the doc said, “And
when’s your birthday?” again son #4 answered without hesitation.
The doc said ‘wow, that’s great’ gave him a high five and got up
to leave. Dr. Doogie had the biggest grin on her face, like son #4
had just made her day. I almost said, “Well he *is* ‘profoundly
socially adept

The plastic surgeon said that they could fix the bald spots on son
#4’s head. (Because of his radiation treatments)
They said they could put a bubble between his skull and skin and
stretch the skin for a month. Then they’d take the bubble out and
use the extra skin, with hair, to pull down over his bald spot. I
don’t know about that one; it’s just a little too cosmeticy for me
right now. Maybe in the future.

The doc also said to take vitamin E and rub and massage it into
the scar, twice a day, for several months. That’s supposed to help
it fade away. So, this afternoon my sweet wife got down a vitamin
E tablet. (It’s a plastic pill filled with liquid) She put it on
the counter and son #4 asked what it was for. She said he was
going to rub it on his scar to help it fade away. So he took it
and started rubbing his head with it. My sweet wife turned around
with scissors and said, “No, not yet. First I have to poke a hole
in it.” Son #4 grabbed his head in mortal fear, and screamed in
terror, “NO! Don’t poke a hole in my head!” She smiled and said,
“No silly. I have to poke a hole in the pill, not your head.”
After a second, he laughed and laughed. He said, “Mom, call dad
and tell him what I did so he can put it in the Joke of the day!”


Enjoy today’s Jokes!


A sick man turned to his doctor,
As he was preparing to leave the examination room and said,
"Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know?
You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door;
On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,
And as he opened the door,
A dog sprang into the room
And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said,
"Did you notice my dog?
He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.
I know little of what is on the other side of death,
But I do know one thing...
I know my Master is there and that is enough."
~Wanda D.


A group of Minnesota friends went deer hunting and paired off in
twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up
the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going
to steal Henry!"
~Wanda D.


I keep all of my New Year's resolutions, every single one. How do
I do it? Quite simple, really. After years of introspection and
many sessions with a Magic 8-Ball, I've developed a healthy
understanding of what I can and cannot do. Therefore, I keep my
resolutions realistic. For example, a few years ago I resolved to
gain five pounds. And I did. Last year I decided that I didn't
know enough curse words. Today my vocabulary is much richer. And
as for 2007? This will be the year I don't clean up my garage.
Andy Simmons - Senior Editor Readers Digest

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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

12/27 - Gone? No, just having fun!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Has it really been a week since I did a JOTD issue. Wow, time
flies when you’re having fun.

Ok, some quick updates;
Christmas – A grand time was had by all. I was awake by 5:30AM
(Why can’t I sleep in on non-work days?) I heard an alarm go off
in one of the boys’ rooms at 6:00:01 AM, and 4 boys were jumping
on mom and dad’s bed by 6:00:18 AM. (No joke...) Son #4 was still
a bid dazed by the “Hurry and get up and get out of bed!” When my
sweet wife said, “you can go back to sleep for an hour if you
want...” a dazed sleepy eyed son #4 mumbled, “ok” and started for
the door. His 3 older brothers yelled in unison, “NO! Santa came!”
He woke up pretty quick after that. Then I tortured them for about
20 minutes, feigning sleep and then telling the Christmas story
and why Christ’s life is important to us. They spit out correct
answers pretty quick when they’re in a hurry!

Son #4 health stuff – Bone graft seems to be working fine, at
least from an untrained eye. We’re going in for his 2 week checkup
tomorrow. His Endo tests came back saying he has precocious
puberty. He only has one elevated blood level (of 2 tests), he
shows no physical signs, and his bone age shows where it should
be. We went to a pediatric endocrinologist who wants to start him
on lupron. But, with only 1 out of 4 signs, I’m going to question
weather we need to start right now. Besides, the once a month
shots are $1500 a shot.(gulp)
We’ll certainly eat up our $2000/year out of pocket pretty quick.

Health issues for the rest of us – We all came through the flu bug
with flying colors. All 5 of us boys ended up spewing all over the
place. My sweet wife said she felt like it, but after carrying 4
boys from conception to birth, she said that she was practiced
enough that she could hold it down with the best of ‘em. Ha, you
never knew I married such a talented women, did you!

Jazz Basketball and son #4’s picture in the paper – I sent in the
article from the paper with son #4’s picture on it, to the Jazz
office. I asked if the two players could autograph it and send it
back to us. No word back from them yet.

Christmas cards – We got some really nice Christmas cards from all
over again this year. Thanks to everyone who sent them. You’ll
probably get a card from us early next year (Grin). I also got
several nice emails from several of you. You guys are awesome.

Relatives dying after Christmas dinner – Nothing like that this
I was fine dealing with it for most of the holiday season,
right up until after Christmas dinner at my mom’s. I had a hard
time driving home, but, I’m good now.

Did I miss anything?

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


Family touched by simple request

By Sue Powell Morgan
(c) 2006 Deseret News

It was a cold December morning. I snuggled deeper into the
warm blankets, but curiosity drew me to the window. Jack Frost had
been here. Snow was falling gently in little fairy flakes, dancing
merrily this way and that. The branches of the trees glistened
like diamonds, transforming everything into a shimmering
This is definitely a homemade bread and chili day, I thought.
It would also be a good day to do some holiday baking. It's going
to be a good day, I mused to myself. I couldn't have possibly
known or imagined just how good or how special! By the time the
stars twinkled this night, an innocent little visitor would etch
the real meaning of Christmas in our hearts forever.
The day flew by, and the children came in from school. Five-
year-old Jill brought with her a dirty little girl. They came
giggling into the kitchen with red little noses and chins and
peeled off their wet coats.
I remember the first time I saw Susie the previous summer.
Jill and two friends were playing house in the back yard. Their
dolls and buggies and a little table and chairs were their
playhouse. Looking out my kitchen window, I had noticed a ragged,
grimy little girl standing outside the fence wistfully watching.
I was glad when Jill saw her and asked if she wanted to play
with them. Susie's eyes lit up. I'll come right back if I can find
my doll, she'd said. A short time later Susie reappeared at the
fence clutching a filthy one-armed doll.
It seemed awkward for Susie to play make-believe. Jill
thought it was because Susie's doll was so ugly. "Want to play
with my doll?" Jill queried. Susie was suspicious, but she
reluctantly traded. Soon Susie was playing house and having fun
with the other little girls. I hadn't seen her since that day last
summer. Susie watched as I formed the bread dough into
loaves, then she and Jill were off to play. The chili simmered on
the stove, and the aroma of hot bread and apple pie permeated the
house. Remember?
Susie reappeared in the kitchen and watched as I took the
bread from the oven and brushed the crusts with melted butter. She
looked so little and frail! "I better take you home, honey, your
mama will be worried about you."
"Mamma's not home yet," she said.
"I bet your daddy will be wondering where you are," I said.
"Daddy doesn't live at our house anymore," she volunteered.
"He lives at the prison." My heart wrenched.
Helping Susie into the shabby little coat, I handed her a
plate of Christmas cookies. Her little shoulders stooped as she
slowly walked to the car. It was dark as I drove the five blocks
and stopped the car to let her out.
No Christmas lights twinkled in the dark window. There was a
light on in the back of the house. I was relieved that someone was
there. Stopping on the icy porch, Susie looked back at me. The
door closed and she was inside.
As the family sat at the dinner table the doorbell rang. I
went to the door and to my surprise there stood Susie. She'd run
all the way back to our house in the cold and darkness.
Standing on the little rug by the fridge, Susie kept her eyes
fixed on her wet little shoes. Nervously she began. "I was just
wondering if you would let me have a loaf of that bread, please?
It's for my mamma! I don't have a Christmas present for her. She'd
just love the way it smells, and I can work for you to pay for
it," she said softly. "I could do dishes or dust and sweep." The
family sat very quiet. "I could wrap it in some paper and hide it
till Christmas!"
Tears brimmed over the eyes and ran down the pale, cold
little cheeks and onto her ragged coat. It was two weeks before
Christmas! I visualized a little girl giving the best Christmas
present she could dream of to her mother — a loaf of bread,
wrapped in pretty Christmas paper! We were all crying now as the
family gathered around her.
Santa came to Susie's house that Christmas Eve and left Susie
a stocking, with the prettiest doll he had. There were presents
for the family, too. And Christmas dinner with turkey and
dressing, fluffy mashed potatoes and gravy, pies and homemade
Such an innocent request. A loaf of bread, please? will
remain forever in our hearts. And every Christmas our family
remembers little Susie and the meaning of unselfish love a little
visitor brought to our home that cold December night.

Empty pockets lead to full hearts
By Jolene Jones © 2006
Every year at Christmas time, my husband, Russ, relates this
story to our children about him and his father, Milton Jones, so
that the children can know a little about the grandfather they
have never met.
I grew up in McKinleyville, a little town on the Pacific
Coast of northern California. During the late 1960s, my father
owned a small furniture store. At that time, most of the local
business was from the logging industry.
I worked for my dad, hauling furniture into our small truck
for delivery to the local customers. My dad, "Milty" to his
friends and customers, was a short, quiet, gentle man. Day after
day in the store, I would watch him arrange to deliver some much-
needed furniture to families with little money. Dad would arrange
for payments to be made on the furniture and seal the deal with a
handshake. One year, just days before Christmas, I overheard my
mom inform Dad that the shop was behind in its collections.
My mom, Helen, was the polar opposite of my dad. Where he was
short, she was tall; where he was quiet, she was vivacious. She
had enough personality to earn the nickname "Hurricane Helen." She
sternly warned him that he had been too soft-hearted in his
collection efforts, and if the shop were going to survive, he had
to collect the payments due. Knowing that she was right, Dad
reluctantly called out to me, "Rusty, get your coat."
We climbed into the delivery truck. I was shivering in the
frigid, wet December weather. We drove in silence to the first
house. The house was really a small shack that looked utterly
uninviting in the thick, coastal fog. Dad went to the door and
knocked. There was no answer. He opened the door to silence. No
one was home. With a sigh, Dad shoved the door open and moved into
the small front room. We had come to collect a sofa, a kitchen
table, chairs and some children's beds.
It was ice-cold in the room. Dad looked around at the
furniture, then walked quietly over to the kitchen table. On the
table lay a note.
"Milton, I know you have come to collect the furniture. I'm
sorry we couldn't pay the rest of what we owe you. I got sick and
was laid off from the mill. I left the door open for you. I didn't
want my family to be home when you came."
Without a word Dad put the note back on the table. He just
stood there for a few minutes. He walked over to the fridge and
opened it. Nearly empty. He opened a few cupboards. Nearly empty,
as well. He looked at the fireplace, the only method of heating
the home. No wood. He reached into his coat pocket, pulled out
some money, turned to me and said with quiet resolve, "Rusty, go
get some groceries."
"Dad," I argued, "Mom's going to be mad! We need to take the
furniture, not give them money!"
His reply was absolute. "Rusty, these people need this
furniture far more than I need the money."
When I returned to the house, with bags of groceries, I
walked into a warm front room. Dad had chopped wood for the fire.
We put the groceries in the cupboards and fridge and started to
walk out the door when Dad stopped and looked around again. I
watched in silence as he slowly walked back over to the kitchen
table, the very one we had come to collect. He put his hand back
in his pocket and pulled out all the money he had and placed it on
the table. Then, he took off his brand new, expensive wool coat,
which had been an early Christmas present from my mom, and placed
it on the table beside the money.
As we drove back to the shop, the only thing my 16-year-old
brain could think was that my mom was probably going to kill my
dad! Dad not only had left the furniture but had also emptied his
pockets and given them his new wool coat. Knowing what the
reaction of my mom would be, I honestly thought he was either
insane or the bravest man I knew.
When we returned to the shop, we weathered "Hurricane Helen"
just fine. Dad never spoke about the experience or the furniture
again. But I have never forgotten that Christmas trip to collect
what was owed to us. In lieu of collecting, my dad gave. Dad gave
a man his dignity. And to me, he gave the gift of knowing I had a
generous, kind father.


When I had been married for 40 years, I took a look at my wife one
day and said, "Honey, 40 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a
cheap car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and
white TV. But I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old
blonde." "Now, we have a nice house, nice car, a big king-sized
bed, and a plasma screen TV. But I'm sleeping with a 60+ year-old
woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of
things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out
and find a hot 25-year-old blonde, and she would make absolutely
sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment,
driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10-
inch black and white TV.
~Betty H.

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

12/20 - Another two bite the dust...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

A couple of comments on a couple of comments.

Wanda D. Asks

>Every year I look forward to your families Secret Santa stories.
>I hope you haven't out grown the practice? I hope you aren't too
>busy?? Fill us in Christmas is almost here!

Oh, yeah. Pixie week.
This year they’ve extended Pixie week to 10 days, and still only
require you to leave a minimum of 3 gifts. So, it’s tougher to
catch your pixie. This year I don’t think our pixie has been
ringing our door bell (or else we’re just too loud when they come!)
With the first gift we left our pixie family, the 4 boys snuck up
to the door, dropped the gift, rang the door bell, and ran to the
van. While they were running, son #3 let out a huge squeal,
“AAAIEEEEE!!” loud enough to wake everyone up in 3 closest
neighborhoods. Not thinking, son #2 yelled out, in equal vigor,
“SHUDDUP [Son #3]!!!” So anyone within earshot could tell who we
were. Luckily, I think they weren’t home.

Then, my Brother #1 writes

>Speaking of hammocks...
>Look at #3. Is that the configuration that [Son #3] has?

>“CPSC reported in August 1996 that the product had resulted in
>the fatal and near-fatal asphyxiation of dozens of kids ages five
>to 17 and recalled three million of them.
>. . .
>The culprit was a missing set of "spreader bars," supports meant
>to keep the hammock open when it was "at ease.” ”

Oh, wonderful. Now I have to tell sons #3 and #4 they can’t sleep
in that stupid thing. Hmm... maybe I’ll play the “Yuck, that had
puke on it” card. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

And, speaking of puke... (oh, this is good. Skip if you have a
weak stomach)

“Dad, Mom needs you.”
“What for?”
“I think she needs some paper towels or something.”

I went up stairs into the bathroom. Then I immediately remembered
what we had for dinner. Spaghetti. My sweet wife was in the bath
tub because she wasn’t feeling well. And there was dinner... all
over the floor, the toilet seat, and the outside of the shower

I looked at her in the tub and the mess and said, “How in the
She replied, “It’s not mine, it’s son #1’s. He came running in and

I’ll say.

We all had fun cleaning that up.

And finally, Leiann, a brain-tumor-mom friend writes;

>My heart does go out to son #4. [my son] James had that flu last
>week too and did the same thing - threw up for a while and then
>slept on the bathroom floor because he was afraid to get too far
>from the toilet. Of course, for these little ones it can't just
>be the flu - we have to ask ourselves all night, "Is it the
>tumor, the shunts, an infection..........." Thankfully, after
>every test under the sun, it seems to have been just the flu for
>us too. I pray you have a wonderful and quiet Christmas.
>James' Mom

HA! Thankfully I can say that spewing at Marty’s house this week
is NOT tumor related. (unless of course, tumors are contagious)
Now, when this is all over, I’ll have to have a talk with Justin’s
mom who was sick just before us... (grin)

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


Sorry, no jokes today. Too late. I was busy with the cleaning crew


Ok, one joke son #4 has in his repartee.

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“To get to the other side!”

“Why did the chicken cross the play ground?”
“To get to the other slide!”


No more. So sorry.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

12/19 - Spoiler

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Today, everyone was talking about Christmas gifts. My sweet wife
teased son #4 and said, “Do you know what you’re getting for
Christmas from me? A whole bunch of love!” Son #4 got mad and
said, “Mom! Don’t tell me, now you’re going to spoil the


Last night about 2AM, son #3 came running in our room and said
that son #4 had thrown up all over his new hammock. It was the
hammock he had bought in Mexico, and he was letting son #4 try it
for the night. Anyway, son #4 was spewing for a good long time,
and finally fell asleep on the bathroom floor, refusing to go back
to bed for fear of throwing up again. So, between 2 and 4AM I felt
guilty for getting him sick, and figured I probably shouldn’t risk
getting anyone at work sick, so I decided to stay and work from
home today. We made son #4 stay home from school, but he is just
an amazing kid. He bounced back so quickly, he was up running
around like his usual self by 9:00.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comments;

So sorry you had that awful stomach virus. My Mom had it a few
days before you got it.....so, one question.....what were you
doing with my Mom for her to get you sick?
~Justin’s Sister

[Good question, she must have sneezed over the fence. Thanks
Justin’s mom!]

Christmas Carols For All My Friends

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and
Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and
Trucks and Trees and.....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an
Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry,
I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at
the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ....
~Shelly R.


I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if
they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them,
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all
my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept
everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then,
if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and
loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

I was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," I continued,
"then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."


What, may you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on as these marvelous
stories unfold of what children think about and you'll discover
the joy in it!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby
sister. After awhile he asked: "Mom, Is one for hot and one for
cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied
she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you
don't remember you look in the back of your panties. Mine say five
to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so
much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom


BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried
in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration,
her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open
it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How
does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please
don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth

D.I. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much
do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he
asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom
asked what was troubling him, he replied, I don't know what'll
happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The
man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the
city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
Concerned, little James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and
then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon this Mom will never forget...This particular Sunday
sermon... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended
toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without
you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment
my very obedient daughter (who was listening!)asked quite audibly
in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Monday, December 18, 2006

12/18 - A "Heck" of a Hymn

Monday, December 18, 2006

Remember that Olive Garden restaurant last week, where hundreds
got sick? They’ve found out that it’s the norovirus. I wonder,
after this weekend, if it spread to my little neck of the woods. I
got so sick on Sunday that I couldn’t get out of bed. I’ve never
had it come out of both ends so fast. So, it’s a quick story, then
early to bed for me again.

I didn’t go to church yesterday, but my sweet wife told me that as
they were singing the sacrament hymn #174, (While of these emblems
we partake
) son #4 noticed something. In the 3rd verse, with big
eyes and a gasp he said, “Mom, they said ‘Hell’, and that’s a bad
word.” She told him that it was ok to say it if they were
discussing the place, and not using it in anger. He said, “Oh,
ok.” Several minutes later he leaned up to her and said, “Mom, I’m
going to talk about the place called *fetch.”


Enjoy today’s Jokes!

*”fetch” is the Utah watered down version of another big swear
word. We’ve told our kids that using that word in anger, is also a
swear word.

p.s. Just some snopesy type messages today. Enjoy.


If you go to the web site at www.letssaythanks.com you can pick
out a thank you card and it will be sent to a soldier currently
serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to
some member of the armed services. It only takes a second and
wouldn't it be wonderful if they received a bunch of these.


Telephone tax refund
When it comes time to prepare and file your 2006 tax return, make
sure you don’t overlook the “federal excise tax refund credit.”
You claim the credit on line 71 of your form 1040. A similar line
will be available if you file the short form 1040A. If you have
family or friends who no longer file a tax return AND they have
their own land phone in their home and have been paying a phone
bill for years, make sure they know about this form 1040EZ-T.

What is this all about? Well the federal excise tax has been
charged to you on your phone bill for years. It is an old tax that
was assessed on your toll calls based on how far the call was
being made and how much time you talked on that call. When phone
companies began to offer flat fee phone service, challenges to the
excise tax ended up in federal courts in several districts of the
country. The challenges pointed out that flat fee/rate phone
service had nothing to do with the distance and the length of the
phone call. Therefore, the excise tax should/could not be


If you buy gift cards from a display rack that has various store
cards you may become a victim of theft. Crooks write down the card
numbers in the store and then wait a few days and call to see how
much of a balance THEY have on the card. Once they find the card
is "activated", they go online and start shopping. You may want to
purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do
not have the Gift Cards viewable to the public.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

12/13 - 2BZ or not 2BZ

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Ok, so my dreams of staying home and enjoying the holiday are
slowing ebbing away. Last night it was the Intermountain Society
of Artists Christmas dinner for my sweet wife. (She’s so good,
when they saw her painting at the state fair, they gave her
membership.) Tonight was son #4’s holiday concert at the Utah
School for the blind. (There were more mentions of Hanukkah and
Kwanzaa than Christmas. I guess everyone is still trying to be PC,
but I digress.) Tomorrow is a concert for #1 and #2 sons, and the
next night is one for son #3. Then there is the ward Christmas
party, neighborhood party, Scout meetings, more Christmas
shopping, gingerbread houses at Grandmas, and the 20 year annual
tradition of caroling Christmas Eve.

I could be worse; at least we don’t have to spend the next two
weeks in the hospital with a sick kid!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comments
Thanks for keeping your readers updated during your son's surgery
and recovery. I know you and your wife are so relieved to have the
surgery over. I'm so glad to hear your son is doing great and I'll
continue to remember him in prayer.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
~Jeff G., Pittsburgh

[AMEN! Again!]


An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his
free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him.
"What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I
suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack
Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him,
then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. "Yuck,
that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink
this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you
think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"


The African chieftain was so religious that when he ascended to
power, he forbade the killing of animals. Not long thereafter, the
lion and cheetah population began to get out of hand, and,
starving in the wilds, they began feeding on humans. Before long,
even the antelope and zebra were so plentiful that they began
nibbling on natives. The terrified populace petitioned their
leader to rescind his edict, but he refused: thus, they had no
choice but to overthrow the chief. Not only was the revolt
successful, It was the first time in history that ... a reign was
called on account of game.


At the end of this message, you are asked a question. Answer it
immediately. Don't stop and think about it. Just say the first
thing that pops into your mind.

This is a fun "test"... AND kind of spooky at the same time! Give
it a try, then e-mail it around and you'll see how many people you
know fall into the same percentage as you. Be sure to put in the
subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2%. You'll understand
what that means after you finish taking the test".

Now, just follow the instructions as quickly as possible.

Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the
previous one.

You do not ever need to write or remember the answers, just do it
using your mind. You'll be surprised.


How much is:

15 + 6

3 + 56

89 + 2

12 + 53

75 + 26

25 + 52

63 + 32

I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over. Come on,
one more!

123 + 5


Scroll further! To the bottom....

You just thought about a red hammer! didn't you?

If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a
different, if not abnormal, mind.

98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this

If you do not believe this, pass it around and you'll see.

Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the
2% and send to everyone.

[Yes, I’m of the 98%. I said ‘Red Hammer’ How about you. ~Marty]

Monday, December 11, 2006

12/11 - Hats and Hoops

Monday, December 11, 2006

I don’t feel quite as guilty now when I say, “No, let’s not go to
that this year.” We’ve had a busy fall and winter and whole year
for that matter, so we’ve passed up the Santa Train and other fun
stuff. This year I just want to sit back and relax during
Christmas time.

But, one tradition that we’ve always done, and I don’t mind doing,
is to take the train downtown to see the lights on Temple Square.
We did that tonight. It was pretty fun. Son #4 wore his hat that
Conn W. from South Africa sent him last year.

He got so many comments on his hat tonight. It was kinda fun,
until one guy started patting son #4’s hat. I just about grabbed
his arm to tell him to stop, but he already did. Guess I’m still
nervous about son #4’s surgery.

Anyway, I forgot to tell you that son #4 did make it into the
paper last week. But, I forgot to tell you about it, so here’s what
it said;

Below, Jazz players Ronnie Brewer and Paul Millsap visit with [Son
#4] at Primary Children's Medical Center on Wednesday. Jazz
players, Jazz Dancers, coaches and even the Jazz Bear visited kids
all over the hospital to boost spirits. Kalen M., left, clutches
a ball autographed by Mehmet Okur and Andrei Kirilenko who
visited him and other patients in the hospital.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?"
"Yes, it is," came the reply.
"Oh thank goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my
finger to the phone."


"Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer.
"You work hard and I ain't had to call the vet on you much. I only
wish you pulled the plow a little faster."
"NO!" said the horse, "I said 'feedbag' not 'feedback'."


President Bush was in South Dakota recently. There was an awkward
moment at Mount Rushmore when President Bush said, "Hey, look,
it's those guys on the money!"
~Conan O'brien


"I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as
my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use
my telephone"
~Bjarne Stronstrup (originator of C++ programming language)


A young couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop
at a rattlesnake farm they discovered along the road. After seeing
the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled
the snakes.

"Gosh!" exclaimed the young woman. "You certainly have a dangerous
job. Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?"

"Yes, on rare occasions," answered the handler.

"Well," she continued, "what do you do when you're bitten by a

"I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I
am bitten, I make cut across the fang entry and then suck the
poison from the wound."

"What, uh...what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a
rattler?" persisted the woman.

"Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn
who my real friends are."

"I've been studying up on some of my Las Vegas facts - did you
know, on the average, 151 people get married every day in Las
Vegas. One hundred and fifty-one. You know, shouldn't that be an
even number? Maybe I'm wrong."
~Jay Leno

Thursday, December 07, 2006

12/7 - I've never...

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Amazing. Absolutely incredible. But then you get used to it. That’s my kid I’m talking about. I guess I didn’t realize how good things were until one of the doctors said, “I’ve never...” today. Here’s what they said all week.

Monday: “We’ll have him in surgery for a couple of hours. He’ll be in ICU for a day or two, and then we’ll move him to the floor for several more days. He’ll be able to go home on Saturday, or Friday at the earliest.”

Tuesday: “He’s doing as good as can be expected. We’ll take the gauze off on Wednesday, see how things are going, and then take the draining tube out on Thursday, and he should be able to go home on Friday.”

Wednesday: “He’s doing really well today. We’ll pull the drainage tube out tomorrow and see how he feels. He might even be able to go home after lunch tomorrow.”

Thursday: “I’ve never released a patient this soon, but I don’t see any reason to keep him here. You’re welcome to keep him here another day if you don’t feel comfortable taking him home.”

This morning son #4 spent almost the entire morning cruising around the hospital and the Forever Young Zone, with mom chasing after him saying, “Slow down!” Two days ago he couldn’t move his head or stand up, and they said he was doing better than expected at that point. Today they couldn’t hold him down.

Just after son #4 turned 3, in 2004, there was a coke-a-cola commercial featuring Queen and the song “I want to break free”. For some reason son #4 really liked that commercial and sang it over and over. He still remembers it. When he heard he could go home today, he raised his hands above his head, yelled “Yipee!” and started dancing and singing, “I want to break free...”

I am 100% convinced that there is something about this kid that is quite extraordinary. Yeah, he’s my kid. Yeah, people say he’s, “so cute” and he has the personality that will charm the socks off of you. Even though all of that; I think he’s got to be on this earth either to do something special, to teach someone, or just to be an exceptional example to a lot of people. Or, he’s doing it right now. It’s strange, even at his young age; I am really in awe of him.

And, without waxing poetic, I am also 100% convinced of the divine power of fasting and praying for the righteous desires of our hearts. What better thing to fast and pray for, then a little kid going into surgery? What better outcome could we have asked for? Our family has truly been blessed. For that, I am grateful.

And thank all of you who helped!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comments

It's good to hear that things went so well for [#4] and for you
and [your sweet wife] so far. We fasted for [#4] and his doctors
on Sunday, and have kept you all in our prayers. Here's to a
speedy recovery!

Jimmy is looking great. It never ceases to amaze me how rapidly
the kids bounce back from brain surgery. That's quite an incision.
In San Diego they used dermabond to close Steven's incision, it's
awesome stuff, no stitches.


Here’s something to think about;

If you buy Gift Cards from a display rack that has various store
cards you may become a victim of theft. Crooks write down the card
numbers in the store and then wait a few days and call to see how
much of a balance THEY have on the card. Once they find the card
is "activated", they go online and start shopping. You may want to
purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do
not have the Gift Cards viewable to the public.

Snopes’d at http://www.snopes.com/fraud/sales/giftcard.asp


A man went into a motorcycle shop. He spent a couple of hours looking over the bikes and taking them for test drives. He
narrowed his choice to two bikes. One had a really high top speed,
but its acceleration was poor. The second had a lower top speed,
but it had a lot of torque and accelerated quickly. Eventually, he
decided to buy the second bike. It cost a lot less, because torque
is cheap.


After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch
potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling
beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no
matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just
shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on for many
months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at
a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a
hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble
running down the side of its mouth. The shopkeeper, observing her
fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported
"Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he
exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!" Immediately, the Goony bird
flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table
and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful
forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said,
"Goony bird! The shelf!" Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf
and demolished it in seconds. "Wow!" said the wife, "If this
doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she
bought the bird and took it home. When she entered the house, the
husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and
watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise
for you! A Goony bird!" The husband, in his usual bored tone
replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"
~Jeremiah G

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

12/6 - Recovery with Basketball Helmets

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I stayed with son #4 last night, and let me tell you, his hospital
room was no Ritz Carlton. There was a tiny fold out chair, nurses
coming in all of the time, alarms going off, and a little boy
calling out my name. At 4:00AM after they took his vitals, he
wanted to stay up and play games. I told him that probably
wouldn’t be wise. I tried to sleep for the next 90 minutes or so,
then gave up and took a shower.

But, after the sun came up, it was another good recovery day.
After breakfast, a very short, very young looking female doctor
came in and took son #4’s dressing off. (Boy, he’s got a wicked
scar across his head. See photos on the web site) When she was
done, she asked me if there was anything else she could do for me.
I was looking at son #4, not paying attention and had some
questions for his surgeon that I met on Monday. I said, “Are the
surgeons coming in to check on him today?” She glared at me and
said, “I am one of the surgeons.” Oh, Oops... sorry. I guess she
just reminded me too much of Doogie Howser, M.D....

After that, son #4 re-discovered the Forever Young Zone (donated
by BYU and 49’ers football star Steve Young). It’s a place with
video games, cars, toys, and cool stuff for kids to use. He must
have gone up there 4 or 5 times today. After my sweet wife came up
to give me a break, I went back to work. She called me about 2:00
and said that the Utah Jazz basketball players were up there
visiting the patients. There were 2 players and an assistant coach
in son #4’s room. They had NBA TV filming, and a photographer from
the local paper there taking pictures. (2 more pictures on the
blog). Ast. Coach Scott Layden, and players Ronnie Brewer, and
Paul Millsap were there. Also a Jazz dancer named Ricci. They
said there will be a piece on NBA TV with him in it, but unfortunately,
we don’t have NBA TV. [If anyone has it, and can record the spot,
I’d love a copy!] Anyway, they laughed and joked with son #4 and
made him smile. They signed a small basketball for him and left.
After they were gone, son #4 turned to my sweet wife and said,
“Wow, that was cool. But how come they didn’t have their helmets

Hmm... He must have been thinking about Steve Young and the
Forever Young Zone!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Layden and Millsap

Brewer and Millsap

[Here’s an old joke I sent during the playoffs in April of 2000]

Karl Malone and Michael Jordan died and went to heaven. St. Peter was
waiting for them at the Pearly Gates. "Come on in boys, I'll show you
around the place." St. Peter took Michael aside first. "Michael
because you were such a great basketball player and a good Samaritan
we would like to present you with this house to live in." He then
pointed to a run down old shack with a Chicago Bulls banner over the
front door. Michael was stunned, he had worked so hard all of his
life and this was his reward? He looked off into the distance and up
on a beautiful hill, there was a glorious mansion. Beautiful
fountains, flowers, and a Utah Jazz banner over the front door. In
fact the windows were stained glass "GO JAZZ", and the street name
was KARL MALONE AVENUE. Michael was disgusted "You mean after all my
championships, all my MVP's, you give me this run down old thing, and
Karl gets that house!?" St. Peter started to laugh "Michael, Michael,
Michael, that's not Karl's house, that's the Boss' house!"


You know you are totally and hopelessly
addicted to basketball when...

-You’re asked in a spelling bee contest to spell Krzyzewsky,
Gheorghe, Gugliotta, Marciulionis, Jacikevicius, Ilgauskas and
Szczerbiak… and you spell each and every name perfectly right. What's
more, you spell Tomjanovich with an 'h' and Rakocevic without one...


By Cole Bossman

The beat of the ball marks my rhythm,
Times like these let you know you are livin',
My calves are burning, crying out in pain,
Soaring through the air they think I'm insane,
A thirteen year old shooting 'till 10 o'clock, they stare,
As I sore easily through the air,
They ask why I do it, why am I there,
Why do I love it so much, why do I care,
I cannot say anything to them, they just don't understand,
What it's like to look down and not be on land,
They don't understand how hard it was to get here,
How I went through disappointment, how I went through fear,
How I played through injury, serious and not,
How I played in the rain, and when it was hot,
How I studied and learned the entire game,
Just to get to the top, so they would know my name,
And so as I stand here, the cold breeze touching my face,
I know I belong here, this is my place,
So when those people ask why I do this all day,
I say, because I love it, I'm here to stay,
And so when the day is long overdue,
I go home happy, good as new,
Because what keeps me going runs in my every vein,
It's this undying love, for this perfect game.
© 2004 Cole Bosmann

Getting it all cut off before surgery

Tuff Armies

There are those darn fries again!

Taking the dressing off

All Gone

Parker Bear's Turn

Son #4 and one of his Sunday School Teachers who works there

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

12/5 - Long day, longer night

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Whew, what a long day! Son #4 woke up late afternoon
yesterday, and had a few ice chips. Then about a dozen
straws full of water. After about an hour he had about ½ a
box of red fruit punch Gatorade. With morphine for the
pain, head surgery, and too much Gatorade all at once, he
spewed. Just like the kid on the tweety bird ride. And, it
got all over. It was such a nice red Gatorade color. And,
he got some on his new head covering. So, it’s now white
with red stains all over it. No worries, they take it off
tomorrow. (I’ll have the camera ready...)

He slept on and off most of the day yesterday, and my sweet
wife took first day then night shift. (That was how it was
supposed to be, according to son #4’s instructions prior to
surgery.) So, after leaving my sweet wife and son #4 at the
hospital yesterday, I headed over to my in-laws for some
dinner and to get the boys to do their homework. Then it
was off to home to do laundry and dishes.

After working a couple of hours this morning, I came back
to the hospital to give my sweet wife a break, who said she
got zero sleep last night in the ICU room with son #4. (I’m
SO looking forward to my turn tonight.)

Today, son #4 ate a little bit of eggs, ½ of a fruit
smoothie for breakfast, some chicken nuggets for lunch and
½ piece of cheesecake for dinner. He was pretty lethargic
during the day, but when his brothers came tonight, he was
having a great time. They played video games; tossed Mickey
mouse around a little bit, and had a great time. Brothers
are good medicine, but, it really wore him out. He slept
solid for the next 3 hours.

When he awoke tonight, I read him a book. In the middle of
it he tooted. And, just like the last time, he giggled. So,
I know things are back on track.

Speaking of tooting, make sure that if you’re on American
Airlines, you don’t do what this poor lady did.
“Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in

Anyway, thanks for all of the comments. Things are going
about as planned.


Read Comment Section

[On last Thursday’s edition]
hey marty,
Your joke about Johnny being sent to his room reminded me
of my own family. When my little sister was about 4 years
old (now 16) she was excused from the dinner table for bad
manners. She immediately put up a temper tantrum and cried
like little kids oftain do. Not more than two seconds
after turning the corner to her bedroom, she poked her head
around the corner, completely dry eyed and in a normal,
calm voice asked, "when i stop crying, can i come out?" My
mom calmly answered yes. And she began her temper all over
agin and cried so loud we could hear her from the other
room. It took her 5 minutes before she "stopped" crying
again to come out and finish dinner.
~Matt B. - Number one fan in Camarillo, CA

[Monday’s issues]
Dear Marty and Melody:
This is Robynn T. in Plano, Texas. I just wanted you to
know that we are all praying for [son #4] today. We will be
anxious to hear when he is out of surgery and on the road
to a speedy recovery. What a great family you have. You are
all in our thoughts and prayers today.

[Thank you Robynn! We decorated our tree this weekend and
the Christmas tree hat you sent last year was in our boxes.
The kids had a great time playing with it again this year!]

My thoughts and prayers are certainly with you and your
family. It's amazing how your strength holds on and on. May
you keep being blessed.

Thanks for the extra updates today Marty! There must be so
many people worldwide wishing your family well today, I
hope you can feel the support. Hope you & your wife were
able to get some good sleep at the hospital.
Best wishes,
~Ruth (UK)

Putting our kids' lives into the hands of a surgeon is one
of those supreme acts of faith. I pray this surgery is
successful. I pray for your family's faith.

You and your family are in my prayers that God will be with
you and bring you His peace and comfort.

Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your son. Give
him our best from Hong Kong. Regards,
~Allen A.

[Thank you everyone so much! And, for those of you who I
didn’t get back to, or put your comments here, thank you


If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000
troops in the theatre of operations during the last 22
months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, that gives a firearm
death rate of 60 per 10,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per
10,000 for the same period.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot
and killed in the U.S. Capitol, which has some of the
strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington


One morning I locked both sets of keys inside my
roommate's car. We finally managed to pry a clothes hanger
through a window, only to discover that the hanger was
useless on that type of lock. I remembered hearing that
firemen have a special tool for opening car doors, and
rushed inside to call. Fifteen minutes later a fire truck
rounded the corner, and a burly firefighter in boots,
yellow slicker and fire hat jumped out. In his hand he held
the special tool. It was a wire clothes hanger.

[As I was reading your JOTD and enjoying a sandwich with a
jar of Plochman's mustard near by, I noticed a mustard quiz
on the squeeze bottle. The questions but no answers. You
had to go to the web site for the rest of the quiz and the
answers. I thought you might enjoy this bit of knowledge.
~Wanda ]

Which country is the world’s largest producer of mustard

Which has a longer history, Plochman’s Mustard or a Van
Gogh painting?

How long have people been using mustard for seasoning?

Our company had been making mustard for 41 years before the
introduction of what mustard-loving food item at Chicago’s
Columbian Exposition?

What are the origins of the term “Mustard?”

What religious writings include references to mustard?

Which famous authors and speakers refer to mustard?

What famous conqueror sent his opponent a sack of mustard
seeds for intimidation?

How is mustard heat different from pepper heat?

What company made writing with food possible by inventing
the first successful squeeze mustard in the 1950’s?

The United States had how many states in 1852, the year we
were founded?

Which of the top 5 brands of mustard in the United States
is still family owned and operated?

for the answers go to http://www.plochman.com/fhm.htm
~Wanda D.

Monday, December 04, 2006

12/4 - Update with pix

Monday, December 04, 2006

Big *sigh*
Things are going pretty well. Son #4’s vitals are really
good, his O2 is at 97% or better, and he’s sleeping. I’ve
put a few before and after pictures on the website.
(http://martysjotd.blogspot.com) They said everything
looks really good, and after his ½ dose of morphine wears
off, and he wakes up a bit more, he’ll probably get out
of the PICU and go to his own room. I think they called
his surgery a Cranioplasty. Whatever it is, he’s got a
lot of dressing on his head. Anyway, the lights are down,
we’ve got on some quiet new age music going, and both
kids in the room are sleeping. So, I’m going to catch a
few winks in my chair while my sweet wife snores in the
chair/bed next to me.


"BEFORE" goofing around before surgery

"BEFORE" in the police car he rode to surgery with


12/4 - Surgery update

Monday, December 04, 2006

Mid morning update; 10:30AM

The neurosurgeon just came in to update us. (Dr. Brockmeyer is the
one who climbed Mt. Everest last summer, several weeks before his first surgery. http://rocktraveler.com/Rock_News/mtEverest.php).
Brockmeyer said his part is done (cutting open and looking, I guess…) and that everything is going great. They took bone from the
right side of his head to split and replace on the left side, not from the
forehead area that they thought they might. Dr. Brockmeyer said that
the plastic surgeon is splitting the bone and will be putting it back on
both sides. It may be another hour or two.

Update on the update. The nurse just called and said the plastic
surgeon is just finishing up putting in the plates and screws in, and
that his is just starting to close things up. About 45 minutes to an
hour before he goes to ICU.

12/4 - Surgery Update - Monday 8:30AM

Monday, December 04, 2006

Monday morning update on son #4’s surgery.

Day of surgery;

We had to be at the hospital at 6AM this morning, and of course got
to bed late, and of course we didn’t sleep any, so of course we’re
pooped already. We talked to both surgeons this morning and the
anesthesiologist who assured us that everything would be fine. The
plastic surgeon said that they would take bone from the thickest
part of the skull, split it, and replace the bone on the left side of his
head where the old bone is dying. We’ve heard anything from “A
couple of hours” to 5 hours. So, we’ll just hang out here in the
waiting room and see what happens. We had some priesthood
blessings last night and (at least I) feel a bit more peaceful about
the whole situation.

I’ll keep you updated when we find something out.