Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
4/19 - Random Stuff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thursday, April 19, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BATHROOM HUMOR... Homer Simpson, "Mmmm... Bacon..."
I did this as a kid. Not so much the performing for others, but I was a brilliant arm pit musician!
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Does anyone read Chinese? I'm dying to know what 'unrecycling' is! We had a good friend in Hong Kong up until the last few months. Maybe he's still around and can help us out on this one...
RECYCLING..... and .....UNRECYCLING cans???
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And finally, one last "hilarious" story.
Boys Contaminate W.Va. Town With Mercury; Mayor: "Boys will be boys,"
11:18 PDT Clendenin, W.Va. (AP) -- A group of boys playing with mercury swiped from a dental office created an environmental headache for one small town after tracking it into their school, homes and church and up the steps of the public library.
4/7 - How many activities can you pack into one day?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Saturday, April 07, 2007 [Our 450th post!] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a busy Saturday. We went to an Easter Egg Hunt, Home Depot Kids workshop, trap shooting, and Geocaching. (I’ll get to that studying soon, I promise...) I’ve posted a couple of pics online of the boys today.
Also, some have asked where Chad Vader episode 4 is. It’s now posted. Enjoy!
And, speaking of shooting and clay pigeons, I’m also posted “clay pigeons are for wimps” video online.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wednesday, April 04, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahh... finally a night that I don’t have something to do! School, Family night, Camping, Scouts, and date nights keep me busy. But the Scouts went last night, and it’s not date or school night, so I’m free! Before I left work today, I told my co-worker, “quiz me tomorrow. Ask me if I finally sent my taxes in.”
So, I had a good dinner with the kids while my sweet wife went off to Relief Society. I came down to do taxes and son #3 begged me to play Brood Wars with him. I’m a sucker for Brood Wars. Now, not only to I have to confess not doing my taxes, I also get to feel guilty for not studying for a biology test that’s coming up on Tuesday. *sigh* I guess I can’t win the right games. But, playing with son #3 is something, right? (plus, I smoked him!)
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. I uploaded 3 of the best pics of son #4 skiing yesterday. Goof’n around, skiing with the instructor, and doing the Superman thing.
p.p.s. Ok, there are a ton of cool videos out there. I’m going to start to put some extra ones in once in awhile. Check out Chad Vader. A series of videos I found. Then there’s a dinner in the sky. Would you pay a fortune to sit up there and eat? Plus, what whould happen if you have to go to the bathroom?
p.p.p.s. I only got one submission for the puzzle pics, so I’ll give you one more day...
=-=-=- Son #3 Pics
Goof'n at the lodge
SUPERMAN!
Skiing backwards taking a picture.
=-=-=- Funny Picture section If military spending gets cut, this is what we’ll end up with ~Krystal B.
Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her an ice cream cone. The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?" The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there." The owner raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a cone? Never know... she might say yes." The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right. How likely is THAT to happen?" ~Wanda D.
Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"
"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, April 02, 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had a great conference weekend. On Friday son #2 and I went downtown to sing at a Young Men’s open house. It was a training session for young men leaders in the Church. We had a men and boys choir of about 50 voices, all dressed in Class A Scout uniforms or suits and ties. We sounded pretty good too. Oh yeah, and they asked us to shave any facial hair. So, I did. After several years, you can see a bald faced pic of me that son #3 snapped this weekend.
After we sang and had lunch, we raced home, got packed up, and went camping with Grandma and Grandpa and one of the Kearns cousins. Grandma and Grandpa bought an older RV unit to ‘try out’ this summer to see if they like the RV life. You can kind of tell how old it is by the Disco lighting in one of the pictures on the web. We were all excited to try it out, but 9 of us didn’t fit very well in the 25 foot (or was that 20 foot) RV. So, my sweet wife and I got to sleep in our 10 man tent. (Along with an electric heater of course!)
We listened to conference, played games, and son #3 and I had a long walk around Palisades lake. We took the GPS and walked about 2 miles up and down the mountain, saw several deer, and took some great pictures of the views. (see them on the web – http://martysjotd.blogspot.com )
Tonight, since sons #1 and #2 made it through the last quarter with some (barely) passing grades, we decided to go to Chuck-a- Rama and out to see ‘Night at the museum’ at the dollar theater to celebrate. (The dollar theater is only 50¢ on Family night!). Dinner (as with most any buffet) was really good, and the boys really liked the movie. I thought it was just so-so, but they talked about their favorite parts all the way home. So, another successful family home evening.
Enjoy Today’s Jokes! Marty
p.s. Have you ever heard about the Grand Canyon Walkway? It looks like it’s now open. You can walk out on a skywalk, 4000 feet above the canyon floor. Something I’d like to do someday. Anyway, check out today’s video about it.
p.p.s. Skiing with son #4 tomorrow!
Kearns Cousin and the Disco RV
Son #4 and #3 in front of a garbage can. Yes, always a good thing to have in a picture of your kids...
Son #4 and I goofing around in the tent
More Goofing
And more goofing
Son #3 at the 'tree playground'
Son #3 and a duck
A deer son #3 and I saw
=-=-=- Reader Comment Section
[On Duplicate emails on Thursday morning]
Believe me....there were more sites than yours from Yahoo groups doing mass mailings! So it wasn't just you! ~Linda
Marty, Thursday I received eight copies of your 'JOTD' and then later I was at a luncheon and a friend mentioned he had received several copies of some mails. After investigating he found it was caused by a glitch in the yahoo program. He told me yahoo had since fixed it. I don't think you did anything wrong. Keep on keepin' on, ~Bob B.
[Yep, I got a few more emails about the dupe message from YahooGroups on Thursday. Hopefully it will stay fixed for awhile. Thanks everyone, for your patients. Marty]
=-=-=- Video of the Day
Grand Canyon Skywalk
=-=-=- Picture of the day
China appears to be the first country to install outdoor public urinals that are actually intended for daytime usage. Would you, or wouldn’t you?
A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. "It seems everyone is out to get me lately. How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked. The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky. "You mean," asked the motorist, "that I'm not just being paranoid? Even *He* is trying to get me?" ~Wanda
"On this day in 1844 the Young Men's Christian Association, the YMCA, was founded. It was founded by a small group of friends: a construction worker, an Indian chief, a cop, a soldier, a cowboy...they all met at a disco." ~Jay Leno
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John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say, 'well done'?" "Oh, thank you, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
_____ "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8 _____ "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 _____ "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5 _____ "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6 _____ "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4 _____ "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7 _____ "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 _____ "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 _____ "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7 _____ "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6 _____ "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8 _____ "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6 _____ "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5 _____ "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford ." Chris - age 7 _____ "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day" Mary Ann - age 4 _____ "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4 _____ "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7 _____ "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8 ~#1 Mom
