Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

1/31 - Hinckley tributes

President Hinckley Tributes

Monday, January 28, 2008

1/28 - Goldie Locks and the 3 little wolves

Monday, January 28, 2008

The other night my sweet wife was sick, and wanted me to tuck the boys into bed. We have a deal with son #4, that if he gets to bed before his bedtime, then we’ll read him a story. That night he did. I told him I’d either read him a short story, or tell him one of three stories; The 3 little pigs, little red riding hood, or the 3 Billy goats gruff.

He thought for a moment and said, “Dad, I want a new story. Why don’t you tell me the one about the 3 little wolves, and the big fat pig.” Every once in awhile, a dad has to pull something out of his hat, and I came through with flying colors. I said something about, “I’ll oink and I’ll oink and I sit on your house bad...”

Not anything like the Grimm brothers, but close enough.

The Brothers Grimm

We’re still battling the stupid raccoons in the attic. I called the county, and they were out of traps, so I finally caved and bought my own $51 trap. They say the best thing to do is to put a twinkie in there, with some vanilla flavoring to attract them. Then son #3 wanted to know why the raccoons got twinkies, and all of the boys didn’t. So, I had to promise that I’d give them a twinkie when we got the coon. He also asked what we were going to do with the raccoon when we got it. “You’re not going to kill it are you?” He seemed genuinely concerned. I told him that we’d call animal control and they would come pick it up. “But,” I said, “We could tan it and make a coonskin cap if you wanted...” His eyes got really big, “REALLY!?”

I guess it’s just how you present it.

Enjoy the Jokes

p.s. Good bye President Hinckley, we’ll miss you!

Here’s one of my favorite quotes from him;
"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." ~~President Gordon B Hinckley, prophet and president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Reader comments;
Oh, man! I hear ya, brother! We have a KFC buffet in a
neighborhood where I used to live. I had to move from
that neighborhood just to save myself! All that bad
food, and lots of it! All the extra crispy you want,
WITH the noodles and dumplings and sweet potatoes,
for one price? Get behind me, Satan!

-- Jeff G., Pottsburgh

Just a few weeks after taking a job as a security guard, my
husband announced that he had been fired. He explained that
he'd fallen asleep at this desk and someone broke into the

"But you're such a light sleeper," I said. "I'm surprised the
sound of the guy breaking in didn't wake you up."

"I didn't get fired for falling asleep," he confessed, "I was
fired for wearing my earplugs."


"I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud,
but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without
doing any productive work or contributing anything to society,
my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --Dave Barry


I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one
of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and
monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000
worth of life insurance. But he had one last question.

"Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?"

Monday, January 21, 2008

1/21 - More Fun

Monday, January 21, 2008

At one of the last Scout campouts, the other 2 leaders and I were talking about technology. One of the guys usually gets the latest and greatest stuff. I, on the other hand, like to use old stuff. (Case in point, everyone else was walking about in space-age snow gear, and I was walking around in gators that I bought in high school.)

Anyway, I finally upgraded the Palm Pilot that I’ve had for at least 4 years. I bought a brand spank’n new PalmOne Treo 600. Ok, it wasn’t brand new. I think they are on the 750s or 800 series by now, but this is just like buying a car or a computer. If you buy older stuff (year old car, year old computer technology, 2 or 3 year old phones) and they are WAY less expensive. Good thing, because the market is going to crap out this week. <-- predictions by Marty. So, my phone/palm is pretty cool, even though it was someone else’s, and it’s old and scratched. It works great!

Did I tell you I started school again? I’m taking Anatomy and Physiology. (Not a fun class. The teacher is poor, and the subject matter dry. But, hey, its more education right?) And, I decided to take something that interests me; Business. So, I found a class that a friend of mine, who’s in my Bishopric, is teaching. He’s really a great teacher, and I really like the class. If I hadn’t seen dollar signs, and a quick easy way to make a buck in computers, I think I’d have gone into Business or Finance as a career. But, learning is a life long process, no?

This weekend, my mom (who has been singing barbershop music for almost 40 years) told me about the Utah Youth in Harmony festival. It’s where youth get together as a choir and learn barbershop music. Then, they put on a performance that night. Sons #2 and #3 went with me. I wasn’t a member of either of the men’s groups represented there, but I asked if I could sing along just as “a dad”. They said “absolutely”. Most of the youth were High School age, some were Jr. High, and a handful were from elementary school. Son #3 was the youngest in the choir. After almost 8 hours of rehearsal time, we could all sing barbershop, and put on a pretty good performance. Both boys complained during that day that they didn’t want to stay, but by the end, they said they had a great time. So afterwards, I took them to a KFC buffet dinner that night. (Which is just wrong... all that bad food, and a lot of it...) We at the at the “World first KFC” in Salt Lake. It was great.

This week we also got son #4 measured for his new hair piece. They decided they were going to shave off some of the thin hair around his bald spot, and make one hairpiece about 1/4 the size of his head. I’ll let you know how that goes.

So, it’s been a good week.

Enjoy Today’s Jokes

Reader Comments



The human body is a machine that is full of wonder.
This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in
the heck we were designed the way we were.

-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.

-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

-You use 200 muscles to take one step.

-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.

-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

-There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.

-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born

-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test...now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well ......

#1 Mom



[better known as a tagline...]
[I like #12]

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor , you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. Like this: It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness - but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After 50 if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.


Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate who traveled to a small town community to address the single church there. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to ask which denomination so that when it was time for his speech, he inquired in this way:

My brethren, all. I must tell you that my great Grandfather was Presbyterian (absolute silence); but my Grandmother was an Episcopalian (more silence); I must tell you that my other Grandfather was a Catholic (deep silence); while my other Grandmother was Methodist (continued silence).

But I must tell you that I had an aunt who was a Baptist (loud cheers!) ...and I have always considered my aunt's path to be the right one!"

~Wanda D.

Monday, January 14, 2008

1/14 - Like Mild Manner Clark Kent, only not...

Monday, January 14, 2008

The other day I told you that son #1 got Guitar Hero III for
his birthday. Sons #1, #3, #4, and I have all been playing it
a lot. (Son #2 still has some homework issues he’s working
on...) But, I forgot to tell you the other day that we might
be playing it a little too much. When son #4 got on his
school for the blind bus last week, he was singing “Hit me
with your best shot” (Pat Benatar - 1979). The driver looked
at him a little weird, but didn’t say anything.

And, with son #1 it’s kinda funny. We have a rule that he
can’t go over to a girl’s house for movies, party, or
whatever, unless there are other girls and guys in
attendance. Once we gave him the rule, he’s been a real
stickler about it. And even though we’ve now given him the
green light (with rules) to date, he’s still a little
apprehensive. He has two girls picked out for his first date,
but doesn’t want to offend his 2nd choice, so he’s waiting a
month or two until everyone is 16 so he can double date. He’s
very cautious and meticulous about things. So, it’s kinda of
funny that mild-mannered son #1, would be such a wild-boy on
Guitar Hero III.

He just amazes me when he plays this song.

He hasn’t gotten as good as the guy in the video, but he’s almost got the song down. At least he hasn’t grown his hair out long and asked for tattoos!

And speaking of hair...
Since son #4’s radiology treatment back in December of 2005, he’s had two large bald spots on the back/side of his head ever since. Now he balks at getting a haircut, and doesn’t like the bald spots. (He’s got comb-over, but it looks funny if you look closely). Hair Club for kids will donate hair pieces for him until he’s 18. So, we have an appointment on Thursday. My kid gets a hairpiece before I do! (hehehe)

Enjoy Today’s Jokes

Reader Comments

Say, Mr. Osmond---

What you do is, you buy the kid a keyboard and a boom box that hooks together and get him to teach himself how to play anything he hears off the radio, then tape it and play more over that. Then when he gets good on both instruments (and the girls hear him) you can have him make some records. Not a lot. Just enough to pay for your retirement home by the lake. And another one in the Caribbean.
All the best to your family, especially your son with the meidcal problems.

Jeff G., Pittsburgh, PA


Hey Marty --
We have wassail every year at the same Christmas party – Yucky drink as far as I'm concerned!! Maybe if we were people who drank alcohol we'd like it -- but not so! We always ask for the drink w/o anything added. My husband always drinks the wassail - perhaps he's just being polite.. Loved your jokes tonight - I heard the one about the little boy who stole baby Jesus and was giving Him a ride in his new red wagon -- enjoyed reading it again. Thanks #1 Mom I really appreciate the updates on your younger son -- I've prayed for him many times and will continue to do so. Take care and have a great day –
Sincerely - Cathy M~


RE: Look-alikes
I happen to think that you're better looking than all of them. But then, you look like me. I was disappointed that you didn't include the picture of the guy in the Vonage ad. I still think that is you.

BTW my computer is back. (The painter) had just unplugged the power strip and just plugged it in again. So all you will have to do on Saturday is hook up my Wii. BTW the AARP newspaper says Wii sales are high among us old folks. So I was wrong. I have not yet reached my technological acme!!!!!!
Love, Mom

[Yeah, but I still beat you bowling last night! First time!!]


The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and ask her why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!"
~Jan D.


A photographer for a national news magazine was assigned to get photos of a big forest fire. The smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. It will be waiting for you at the airport. he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, Let's go, Let's go! The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. Fly over the north side of the fire, said the photographer, and make three or four low level passes. Why? asked the pilot. Because I'm going to take pictures. I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures! said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience. After a long pause the pilot said, You mean you're not my instructor?
~Kobus B.

An oldie but goodie;

Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

1/10 - Just goof'n

Thursday, January 10, 2008

I was looking at some of the stats for the web site and looking at where people come from. A couple of people who came to my site from a family website called the “Wacky Tenny's.” They've got me listed as a favorite site! Yipee! Which reminds me. I need to update my links... Hopefully, by the time you read this, I should have them updated, over there on the right. I've been meaning to do that for awhile, thanks for the reminder Tenny Family!

Anyway, here's a couple of cool links I found there.

Here's one that shows what kind of celebrity I look like. (How do they do it??)

And here's one of me morphing into some guy named Kim Rossi Stuart. (Whoever the heck that is... But, hey, he's almost as good looking as me, right?) If you want to try some for yourself, just click on the picture somewhere.


But, I guess I should knock myself down a peg or two, least I get a big head... Son #1 got Guitar Hero III for the Wii, for his birthday. This boy is absolutely awesome at that game. It amazes me how fast his fingers fly on the play guitar. I started out on 'Easy' mode, and have mastered a few 'Medium' songs, but he can play most of the songs on 'Hard' mode.

There's got to be some way to turn that energy into something productive... Hmm...

Enjoy the Jokes

Reader Comments

Marty, what is "wassail"
From Amber;

Happy to Educate the populace Amber...
Wassail (pronounced wossayl or woss’l)[1] is a hot, spiced punch often associated with winter celebrations of northern Europe, usually those connected with holidays such as Christmas, New Year's and Twelfth Night. Particularly popular in Germanic countries, the term itself is a contraction of the Old English toast wæs þu hæl, or "be thou hale!" (i.e., "be in good health"). Alternate expressions predating the term, with approximately the same meaning, include both the Old Norse ves heill and Old English wæs hāl.


The Navajo Times reporter was inquiring as to the secret of the long and happy marriage of Chiizhee and Rita.....

Chiizhee replied: Well, it dates back to our honeymoon at the Grand Canyon . We took a trip down to the bottom of the Canyon by mule.

We didn't go too far when Shi Heart's mule stumbled and she almost fell off.

Shi Heart looked down at the mule and quietly said, "That's once."

We went a little further and her mule stumbled again. Once more Shi Heart quietly said, "That's twice."

We got about a half-mile when the mule stumbled for the third time. Shi Heart quietly removed a pistol from her boot and shot the mule dead.

I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, woman! You're freakin crazzeee!" She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from THAT moment.....we have lived happily ever after."

From and Indian Co-Worker;


It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco .
The pastor of the church was looking at the manger scene when
he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from the cradle.
He immediately turned and went outside and saw a little boy
with a red wagon walking down the street. And in the wagon was the
figure of the infant Jesus. So he walked up to the boy and said
“Son, where did you get that little baby Jesus that is in your wagon?”
The little boy replied, “I got him from the church.”
“And why did you take him?” asked the pastor.
The little boy replied, “Well about a week before Christmas, I prayed
to the little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for
Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it.”
~#1 Mom


Dija ever have one of those days?

Monday, January 07, 2008

1/7 - Resolutions

Monday, January 07, 2008

Boy oh boy, lots to update you on!

Let’s start with Christmas shopping. [This story reminds me way back in the summer of 2004, when we went to Lake Tahoe for vacation, and I tried to teach the boys a great lesson. Check out the link to ‘the sign’ to see a sweet picture of son #4 3 1/2 years ago!]

This Christmas season the hot item is the Nintendo Wii game system. My sweet wife and I had been looking for one off and on for months. We didn’t look super hard, but always had our eyes open, but we never could find one. Because son #4 had his MRI exactly one week before Christmas, we wanted to get everything “done” before we found out the results of the MRI, just in case. We had resigned ourselves to the fact that we weren’t going to find a Wii system this year. (Darn! They look so cool too...)

So, we went shopping and decided to get 3 of the boys a Nintendo DS lite game system. These little things are so cool, you can play them alone, with each other wirelessly, over a wireless network, and even hook up to the Nintendo Wii gaming system. (Dang, if we only could find a Wii system!) We decided on the DS because son #4 already got one as a gift when we went to the Hanna Montana Concert, and everyone in the house loved it. (And no, we didn’t have to lie to win tickets, saying my father died in Iraq. My dad’s death on Christmas day two years ago was excitement enough for me. And as long as I’m digressing... We pulled off Christmas dinner at our house this year! Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and nobody died!]

Anyway, back to my story; My sweet wife and I found ourselves at a placed called Game Crazy. We found 3 Nintendo DS systems, a game each, and a couple of games for a giving tree project at work. I’m pretty quick at math, and we had a (loose) budget to work with for Christmas, so I knew pretty close to what the total would be. After an hour in the store, we were at the checkout line. There was a new guy running the register who had to ask the manager different questions about everything. To make a long story short, he rang us up and told me the total. I said, “That doesn’t sound like the right amount.” He said he was sure it was. The manager was standing there and I said, “Are you sure you guys charged me enough?” He joked and said, “You guys could give us a huge tip if you want.” I smiled and waited a few more minutes before the clerk handed me my receipt. I looked at it and said, “No, look, you only charged me for 2 DS systems, not 3.” We had to wait an additional 15 minutes in line, with the manager calling the main office, filling out paperwork, trying to undo what the new kid had done. Though I left there $120 lighter in the pocket, I have a clear conscience.

That was a few days before son #4’s MRI, and we were completely done with getting ready for Christmas. The Thursday after the MRI, I was attending a meeting and had my laptop set up. I was talking with a guy next to me about Wii systems, and he said he wanted to get one, but had no idea where to look. I told him about wiitracker.com and showed him the site. (Ok, this was a boring meeting) Low and behold, wiitracker.com had found some available at ToysRUs.com (But only if you paid for overnight shipping.) I jumped at the chance. (That’s the package I told you about, that I was expecting on Friday, or Saturday before Christmas. It was finally delivered late Christmas Eve.) Now, we have wii!

My #1 mom got to play one at my brother’s house before Thanksgiving in California, and then our system after Christmas. She liked it so much that she ended up buying one on-line, saying, “...it’s supposed to be good exercise.” I think she just likes beating me bowling... My Brother-in-law-with-4-kids-who-lives-across-the-valley-from-us also got a wii for Christmas. All of the cousins have tons of fun playing each other. My Rocket-Scientist-Brother-in-law-from-California-who-has-3-kids got to play ours while he was here. His family wants one really bad, (especially my sister-in-law, who apparently rocks at Guitar Hero) but he kept saying, “I don’t have any time for one!” We know, Roy, you really do want one... [I can see him rolling his eyes as he reads this...] They are available from wiitracker.com as I type... (Grin)

Rib’n aside. What made me go so over my Christmas budget this year? I guess it’s a combination of things. Looking forward, we’re only going to have 3 more Christmas seasons, at most, with the boys at home. It’s kind of sad to think about it. Son #1 will be turning 19, and will hopefully choose an LDS mission. Two years after that, it will be son #2’s turn. And, we all know that anything can happen with our health... Things are good right this second, and I’m a bit apprehensive of what might happen in the future. I just want to have time stop for awhile.

I like the statement; “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!”

When the New Year gets here, I hear people say, “I don’t make resolutions, because I can never keep them.” This year I’m going to at least try. Here are my goals; I lost a total of 28 pounds, but with Thanksgiving in Chicago, and Christmas and New Years just after that, I’ve gained 6 back. A struggle, but I’m going to stick with it. I also decided to read the scriptures on a more regular basis. I’ve started with the New Testament, in Matthew. So far so good. For my last resolution, I decided to go back to College... again. I’ve signed up for an anatomy class, strictly for work (they’ll pay 100%) and a business class, just because it sounded interesting. (I think work will pay 70%). So, New Year is a time to at least try to improve yourself. What will you do to improve yourself?

And, one funny thing that I remember from the holidays; Every year we go to the in-laws on Christmas eve. We carol, have hot wassail, and perform the Christmas pageant while reading from the Bible. Son #4 told my sweet wife that he wanted to play one of the wise men this year, so he could give baby Jesus presents of, “Gold Frankenstein and Fur”.

Well, almost...

Enjoy Today’s Jokes