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Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

12/27 - Stretching my rubber band

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had a wonderful Christmas. It seemed like an extra special
Christmas for us with an unseemly amount of ‘stuff’ being passed
out. That was in the morning.

That night, after a wonderful Christmas dinner of Turkey and
trimmings, my dad, who was down to see my boys, complained of some
back pain. To make a long story short, they think he had an aortic
aneurysm
. He died in the ER about 8:00 PM Christmas night. He ate
a great dinner on this side, and had a wonderful dessert with his
family on the other side.

Sometimes you wonder how much a family can take. Please don’t
worry and fret about us. We’re coping. I will testify to each one
of you that the Lord will not give us any more than we are able to
handle.

My column will be hit and miss for the next while, but writing is
therapeutic for me. I’ll be back.

Marty

Thursday, December 22, 2005

12/22 - Paper Movie

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Thursday, December 22, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took the day off today, just to stretch my ‘holiday’ weekend out
a little longer. A good thing, because I’m starting to get a cold.
Rotten luck just before Christmas. But, we’ll make do.

We were going to go to a dollar movie this afternoon, but we
forgot that son #3’s Sunday school teacher was having a bowling
party today. As he left, my sweet wife turned to me and said, “I
didn’t know they were going bowling. He just broke his wrist
yesterday, how’s he going to bowl?” (“I bowled with my left hand,
and got 3rd best score out of the class!” son #3 later reported).
We didn’t ask what time they’d be home either, so it was too late
for the afternoon movie.

Tonight we invited a reporter from the local newspaper over to our
house. She wanted to do a story on son #4. She does a thing where
she interviews ordinary people over a free lunch. Some of her
stories are pretty interesting, and I’m always looking for a good
deal, so I emailed her a couple of weeks ago and said, “Hey, we’re
ordinary folks, come feed us!” She did. She brought pizza and we
talked about son #4 for almost an hour. If she doesn’t use our
last name in the paper, I’ll give you the link to the story,
(otherwise I’ll copy, edit, and paste it for you...) Son #4 was
asleep when she arrived, and was a little groggy during the first
part of the meal, but after awhile, he was chattering just like
the rest of the boys. She tape recorded it all, so I’m sure she’ll
find something to write about in there.

Just as she left, we looked at the clock and had 10 minutes to
catch the movie that we missed earlier. We made it. (We bought our
own popcorn this time too! So no more ‘hey taking your own popcorn
in isn’t honest’ emails –grin-). Anyway, we went to see Mobsters
and Mormons. Not a fantastic movie. And only mediocre at best, but
the popcorn was better than what I make. (It should be for $5.50 a
bag!)

Anyway, the newspaper columnist said the story would come out in a
couple of weeks.

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

Marty,
I gotta ask. Are you lobbying for a particular present from Mrs.
Claus this year? The past few days there have been some jokes that
have been, (how should I say this?), patronizing to the fairer
gender. Keep it up. I love 'em! And MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Todd H.

[Who me?]

Here’s a cool site that a reader sent in to me today.


Wednesday, December 21, 2005

12/21 - Snap Crackle Pop

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This morning my sweet wife and I took son #4 to the local school
district’s pre-school center. They had representatives from the
Utah School for the blind there too. They wanted to evaluate son
#4 to see if he qualified for their services (he did), and to tell
us all about what both schools offer. The school for the blind has
full day sessions, fewer kids (all disabled), and more teachers
per pupil. The district has 2 hours a day session, with both
disabled and regular ‘paying’ kids.

When we set up today’s appointment, I thought we were just signing
him up for classes. Now we need to visit both school classes and
see what they’re doing so we can decide where to enroll him.
Another ½ day of work I have to ask for off. Good thing my boss is
a cool guy. (but don’t tell him I said that!)

Then, this afternoon my sweet wife called me 20 minutes before the
elementary school let out for Christmas vacation. (Um, sorry,
Holliday recess...) “The school called. Son #3 hurt his hand at
recess. They said it’s not bad, but he should be picked up.”
Apparently he jumped off of the side of the slide at school and
slipped. He landed on the ground on his hand and face. My sweet
wife called me 2 hours later while walking out of the doctor’s
office with a cast on his broken wrist.

I guess that’s not too long. We went about 15 months since son #2
broke his arm in the same playground.

Yeah, this is just what we needed. But, if you think about it,
broken bones are a piece of cake comparatively.

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

All quiet today!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

12/20 - Santa Screams, Caps and Cards

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Instead of Scouts tonight, we had a ward Christmas party up the
canyon at a large dining hall. It was up at a Scout property, and
there was even a tubing hill to go sledding on. Santa visited and
gave gifts to the under 12-year-old kids. Son #4 got a bag of
green army guys. This is one of his favorite toys. If he’s playing
with someone, he can play for hours using his imagination and
these little guys.

Santa also scared the dickens out of a young toddler. She screamed
bloody murder when Santa tried to pick her up. It seemed a little
embarrassing for Santa and the mom, but still kind of funny. As a
matter of fact, I had the exact same, (ahum... I mean an
acquaintance of mine) had the exact same experience Sunday night
at another family’s Christmas party. After putting about 4 or 5
kids on my lap, the next little girl wouldn’t have anything to do
with Santa. She went stiff as a board and let out a scream that
Santa will never forget. He recovered nicely and finished the job.

Anyway, son #4 got a hat from Caps4Sam.com tonight, sent from Doug
S. (Thanks!) Caps4Sam raises money for the Children’s Memorial
Hospital, so it’s a cool gift, and keeps on giving! We’re also
getting more cards from our readers. And we’re ~almost~ caught up
sending cards back out…

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

If I remember correctly.. Heir Zeller is the bad German Nazi..
it's not a big part.. but sets the tone for the show..letting you
know that they are under German Rule..and he tries to make life
hard for them.. even recruiting the oldest son .etc.. does that
ring a bell anyone? I should know it.. haven't seen it in a
while..but used to see it all the time..
~Debi S.

Marty,
I never thought I would say this to you, but you are a Nazi big
guy! Have fun in the show, tho... I'm sure it will be lots of fun!
~Cousin Daria B.

[I seem to remember a photo last year of one of my Jewish cousins
wearing a habit and holding a rosary in some play. I think that’s
where they get the word ‘play’ for these things. (Grin) Now, how
are they going to make a short chubby mean Nazi out of me? That
will be interesting indeed!]

Hey Marty,
You're probably already aware of this, but "911" calls don't work
with VoIP calls, because they can't tell what you're location is
(VoIP numbers are portable), so you'll need to keep your local
phone service just for 911 access.
~James in California

Hey - I saw that you've signed up with Vonage. The one thing to
keep in mind about it is that emergency service/911 acts a little
differently with it.
http://www.vonage.com/help.php?category=29&nav=6
-Doug S.

[You’re now required to put in your location of where the phone
service will be, so that if you do have to call 911, it will be
routed to the closest emergency center. Pretty slick.]

Monday, December 19, 2005

12/19 - Lights - Play - Phone'n'Shirt

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Monday, December 19, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been quite another busy weekend for us. On Saturday we took
the train downtown to see the Christmas lights. We ate at some
cheesy Chinese place in the mall the stopped at the dollar store
for munchies. We didn’t have any schedule, so it was pretty
relaxing. The lights were really good, and we got some great
pictures.

Then on Sunday we got the notice on The Sound of Music play we
tried out for last week. Son #2 is going to be 11-year-old ‘Kurt’,
my sweet wife is going to be a Nun, and I’m Heir Zeller. I’ve got
to admit that I’ve only seen the movie once. And I probably fell
asleep during it. Someone said Heir Zeller is a mean guy part. We
borrowed the DVD from the in-laws, but I haven’t made time to
watch it. Can anyone tell me who I am? Play practice starts in
January, and the play is in May(?). I’m sure you’ll hear more
about it as the weeks go on.

Have you been seeing all of the ads lately for Vonage phone
service? Well, I signed up today. It was pretty easy, but we have
to wait about 3 weeks for all of the paperwork and phone numbers
to change. Vonage is a service where you disconnect your local
phone service, and hook up your phone through your high speed
internet connection. It’s called VoIP (Voice over IP). You get
voice mail, caller ID, free long distance, all the extra stuff the
phone company charges for, and then it’s either $15/mo or $25/mo
(500 outgoing minutes vs. unlimited minutes) We started with the
cheaper plan. I’ll let you know how this one goes too.

Then today we got a great card and some gifts in the post office
box from Susan A. in Chesterton Indiana. (That’s about 45 miles
from Chicago) She said she couldn’t find a hat for son #4, but
sent a cool Chicago White Sox t-shirt. I assume it’s a Sox shirt,
because I’m sure no one sells Chicago Cubs stuff! (Yeah, like I
see a lot of people wearing Utah Jazz shirts this year. Yuk yuk).
Anyway, Thanks Susan!

And tomorrow I’m going in before work for my yearly physical.
(Part One) Tomorrow is the blood tests. I was supposed to go in
August, but we had some other hospital visits that were a tad bit
more important. They said I have to go in fasting. It’s not that I
munch out after 8PM, but it’s just the thought of not being able
to when I want, that bugs me. (I got a call from the office on
my cell phone today. “Come in fasting. Don’t eat or drink anything
at all after 8PM. Except water.” So, water’s not anything?)
Anyway, I wanted to take in son #4 so he could see someone else
get poked for a change. He says he wants to wear his scrubs.

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

No, Marty, Christmas programs are no more. I can remember how
thrilled I was when I first heard "O Holy Night" sung at my
elementary school concert. I have attended programs at the school
of one of my friend's children. When her son was in 6th grade,
there was a selection of music, including (at her insistence,
since they were Jewish) something for Hanukkah. Okay. A mere two
years later, when her daughter was in 6th grade, the program
featured music for Hanukkah, I think something for another
religion, some secular music, and NOT ONE CAROL. It is one thing
to give equal time to other faiths, it's another to ignore the
reason there is Christmas in the first place. This carries over
into the workplace, where, with a multi-ethnic staff, we have a
"holiday party," and to the doctor's office, which has dreidels,
snowflakes, and Santa, but nothing relating to Christ. I persist
in wearing my "Jesus is the reason for the season" pin when I go
shopping.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
~Marianne R

[And a Happy New Year!]

Thursday, December 15, 2005

12/15 - Happy-Merry RamaHanuKwanzMas

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Thursday, December 15, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy-Merry RamaHanuKwanzMas!

I remember back when I was in 6th grade I was in the Swing Choir.
It was kind of a jazzed up concert choir. We got to sing all of
the ‘cool’ songs. I remember one song we sang was Barry Manilow’s
Copacabana. That was my favorite. And, I remember the Christmas
concerts we did too. We sang real live traditional Christmas
stuff.


Son #2 borrowed son #4's Cool
New hat for the concert


Fast forward (a long ways) to today. I left early from work to go
see son #2’s “Celebration around the world concert.” They sang
celebration songs from Ireland, China, Saudi Arabia, Africa,
Israel, Barbados and finally Christmas songs from the United
States. I’m wondering, don’t elementary schools do just a plane
old Christmas concert? I guess I could jump into a tirade about
political correctness, but that’s not what we’re here for. Don’t
get me wrong, Son #2 did a wonderful job singing a solo about
Kenya’s Jamhuri day, and did a great limbo dance move
(pics on the blog site). But, I still miss the good old Rudolph
and Frosty songs of my childhood.


How Low can you go?

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-

Reader Comment Section:

I sent messages to yahoo expressing my displeasure at loosing my
wake up joke Emails. No response from them but it made me feel
better
~Wanda D.

[and a couple of comments from Monday I failed to add]

Did you watch the PICC-line removal? I was present (and
restraining her) when Paige got hers out. I couldn't watch. I did
glance at it in the garbage can, but that was the closest I got.
Nasty, nasty and amazing thing.
~Douglas S.

[Considering I made the dentist give me a mirror so I could watch
them remove all 4 of my wisdom teeth, I think it would have been
cool to watch. But, I was at work...]

Marty,
I think your blog ate my comment. I tried to say yesterday a
THANKS for letting me know about Songs of Love...Genna's came on
Monday, after a hideously long clinic day. I cried reading the
lyrics...silly, but true. When Genna heard it, she got all big
eyed, covered her mouth and said, "Do we get to keep it?" I figure
since there's no huge market for songs about Genna Camiolo who
loves Zoom, muenster cheese, pizza with Grandma, and Hello Kitty,
she could probably keep it... so thanks--I only applied for it
because of how you wrote about [son #4’s] enthusiasm for his. And
now my 3 year old goes around the house singing "Gen-na Camiolo,
Gen-na Camiolo" over and over.
peace,
~Kristin

[It really is a cool thing they do. Glad you could get one!]

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

12/14 - Back in the saddle again...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We’re back!
Dija miss me? For those of you who just get emails, you might not
be aware of what happened in the last week. Yahoo took away my
YahooGroups site. I was started playing email tag with one of
their bots, and not getting anywhere. They deleted all 5700+ of
our addresses, and 6 years of my emails. But, things have a way
of turning out for the best.

My #1 mom is a dental hygienist. (I call her ‘the hook’). She had
a patient, and good friend, strapped down in the chair the other
day, (how else could anyone let her work on them?) who happens to
work for the local newspaper as a staff writer. My #1 mom, (being
an astute mom who’s always got my back) started talking with this
reporter. (Now do you remember the last time you got your teeth
cleaned? Isn’t most of the conversation is one way? You’ve got all
sorts of stuff in your mouth, so your hygienist can say just about
anything they want... I think it must be therapeutic.) Anyway, my
mom got the reporters phone number who said she’d see what she
could do for me.

She emailed me a few days later asking for a little more
information and said she was in contact with Yahoo’s media
relations. I’m not sure what she said, but it certainly worked!
We’re back 100% Score one for the little guy against city hall!

Now I’d better get things backed up right?

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

Not much today

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

12/13 - Aren't you a little young?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m still trading emails with a Yahoo bot named Vanessa. I keep
getting the same answers to different questions. So, I’m still
trying to get the Yahoo folks give me my emails back. I had a
friend of mine send me several months of emails that he had saved.
So now I’m missing Sept of 2001 through April of 2004. Does anyone
have any of those emails?

In another week or so, I may set up martysjotd2 as a yahoogroup
and start send out email again. But, we’ll see.

Today I was talking with some good friends over in the surgery
department. They had a great big poinsettia plant on their
counter. While I was talking, I grabbed the card that was in the
plant and looked at it. It was from a local mortuary. I looked at
her and said, “Gee, that’s a little strange.” She said with a
straight face, “Oh, I guess we give them enough business that they
send us one of these every year.”

For some odd reason I found that most hilarious and had a great
belly laugh.

Remember last night we went swimming? Well on the way home from
swimming, son #1 announced, “Oh yeah, I have a concert tomorrow
night.” D’oh! He said something about the instructor having had to
change the date, but then he forgot to tell us. So I quickly got
the assistant Scout Master to cover for me. Anyway, when son #1
sat down at his concert, he kept making gestures and ‘talking’
with someone in the audience in another part of the auditorium. He
was very animated and looked like he was having a great time. When
the family finally caught his eye, he just waved and looked at his
music. He didn’t want to ‘talk’ to us at all. After they played, I
asked who he was flirting with. “Oh, that’s Melissa. She used to
play first chair viola last year.” I said, “Oh, how come she isn’t
playing this year?” He said, “Because she’s in High School.”

Noooooo!!!!

Until tomorrow
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

None today

=-=-=-
I found this picture the other day. It said, “Why we love the South”

Monday, December 12, 2005

12/12 - Car Crash - New Hat - and a Close Call

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, December 12, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a busy weekend. First, I’ve been swapping emails with
the YahooGroups email bot. I keep getting form letters back from
them telling me, “We can, at our pleasure, delete your YahooGroup
whenever we want for whatever reason we want. So there.” I’m still
pleading...

Here’s what we’ve done since the Thursday issue; Friday night son
#2, my sweet wife and I, all tried out for ‘The Sound of Music’
musical. Our stake (5 to 10 wards) is putting on a play in the spring.
There were very few of us who tried out, so they may change the
play, or just go with what we have. I certainly don’t want a
lead role. A bit part is fine with me. Son #2 sang very well for
his tryout. “He projects nicely” they said.

After the try-outs, my sweet wife and I headed to my former choir
director
’s husband’s home. We were going to listen to a new CD
they made of our recordings while we were still together.
Unfortunately, while just a few blocks from our house stopped at a
stoplight. An 80-year-old gentleman, in a large SUV decided to
plow into the car behind us, which smashed into us, which made us
bump the car in front of us. We’re fine, just sore necks and
backs. The car is ok, considering the car behind us ended up under
our rear bumper. More fun stuff to deal with.

Saturday we got a really cool festive hat in the post office box.
It was from someone in Plano Texas. I’ve never heard of the
sender, but in her letter she said she used to baby sit my sweet
wife when she was 4 or 5 years old. My sweet wife said, “I
remember her! She was the best and prettiest babysitter I ever
had!!” It’s certainly a small world isn’t it? The hat is a really
cool bouncy Christmas tree hat. Bad pic of son #4, but you get the
idea.



Then while I was taking son #3 out for our Saturday, my sweet wife
said that son #4 came up to her and said, “YOU’RE SANTA CLAUS!”
She got a startled look on her face and said, “What??” He replied
and said, “Yeah, you’re Santa Claus and I’ll be the little boy.
I’ll pretend to be asleep on the couch right here, and you bring
me candy, ok?”

*Fwew*

Today, Monday, son #4 was running around playing a waiter saying,
“Sir, may I take your order?” Just then Justin’s mom came over
with a delivery from Justin for son #4. It was a red fireman’s
hat. (Sorry, no pix yet). He put it on, and played all afternoon
saying, “Sir, is your house on fire?” “Hello, is your house on
fire?”

And, last but not least, I did get the new computer up and
running. By Sunday night, son #2 had my old computer completely
torn apart all over the living room. He said he was going to test
and keep the good parts for the computer he’s saving up for.
Scavengers...

Oh, one more last thing. What’s the best thing to do on Monday
family night, two weeks before Christmas? Go swimming! We finally
decided to all go swimming to celebrate son #4’s PICC line removal
and radiation treatment completion. Because everyone else was
doing ‘Christmas’ stuff, we had the entire swimming pool to
ourselves. Not another person came to swim. We had a great time.

Until tomorrow
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

Went to the blog to get news of family. Crabby ole auntie Kay's
daughter says they (YahooGroups) are anti Christ! but also they
want to be paid maybe or needed space? She was impressed with the
new case with the blue lights. Her dream is to get a lap top.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
~Kay L.

Why me?
Now who is going to feed my addiction to MJOTD?
How am I going to find out # 4 son's progess?
Unfair!
John C.

[You could always hit the blog site once a day.]

Thursday, December 08, 2005

12/8 - Bye Bye Emails and missing bone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, December 08, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
December 8th, 2005; a day that will live in infamy. Well, maybe for
Marty’s joke of the day anyway. Remember on Monday that I said my
‘martysjotd’ account had been deactivated? Well, apparently
YahooGroups decided to deactivate the group known as martysjotd
too. So, as of right now I’ve lost all of your 5700+ email
addresses and worse, all of my emails for the past 6 years. I’m
trying to get the group back by pleading with YahooGroups, but all
I get is form emails. I’ll keep trying.

Does anyone have any of my emails prior to September of 2004 saved?
I think I could make it worth your while to send them to me!

Hopefully when 5000 of you realize that you’re not getting my
emails, you’ll come over to the blog and find out what’s going on
in our lives. Sorry, I don’t have much control over what happened,
but I’m trying my best to get things back going.

Let’s see; something funny tonight. My sweet wife said that son #4
walked up to her today and said, “Mom, why is my head soft right
here?” He pointed to a triangular spot on his head, a little larger
than a dime, where there was no bone. (I think this is normal,
because a friend at work who had similar surgery has the same type
of boneless ‘soft spot’). My sweet wife replied to him, “That’s
where you’re missing part of your bone.” He looked at her with big
eyes and said, “Oh, no! Not again!” She smiled and said, “No,
that’s just a little piece they left out. You don’t have to have
surgery to put that back.” He thought for a second and said, “Ok”
then ran off to play some more.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. I guess I won’t need to add the “Enjoy today’s Jokes”
salutation anymore. For those who get (ok, got) this as email, I
stuck in 3 or more jokes at the end of the email. But, I haven’t
done that on the blog. What do you think? Would you like to read
jokes on the blog too? Let me know.

Oh, and P.P.S.
I got the rest of my computer parts today for the old PC. The case
is really cool. It’s got a plexiglas side, and blue lights where
you can see inside of the computer. Ok ladies, it’s a computer nerd
thing. Anyway, hope to have it all back up by the end of the
weekend.

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

I hope you don't help your kids with their math homework. 2005-1941
does not equal 54.
~Chuck H.

Marty,
It's actually 64 years...for Pearl Harbor...1941.
~Shelly R. – aka Harry Potter Girl

[Ok guys. At 11:30 last night, counting decades on my fingers, it
seemed like 50 years. 10 years off wasn’t too bad, was it?]

Hey there.
It looks like your Christmas stories a day have been shut down...
any ideas?
~Justin H.

What is the status of the Story a Day Christmas stories - I saw it
mentioned a while back but nothing since - - I clicked on the icon
from back then via your Blog site, but it came up "not able to
view this page" or some such message.
~LaMonte H.

[Yeah, when YahooGroups took down martysjotd and all the email addresses with it, they took down the Geocities site too. (I guess Yahoo Bought them too.) So, I don’t have the 25 Christmas stories. Does anyone have copies of those? I’m bummed.]

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

12/7 - Rants Raves and Pearls

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, I just noticed that it’s Pearl Harbor day. It’s the 54th
anniversary of the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbor. I didn’t hear
anything about it on the radio, in conversation today, or in the
newspaper. Not that I looked or listened intently about it, but I
guess it’s just not a big deal anymore. In 50 years, on the 54th
anniversary of 9-11-01, I wonder what people will be thinking about
the attacks that day.

Just rambling. Not much going on with any of the boys. Thankfully
son #4 doesn’t have any doctors’ appointments until January 10th,
for his first post-op MRI. We’ll be praying for a clean scan then!
I’ve got a yearly physical on December 20th though. Do you know how
hard it is to lose those extra couple of pounds you gained since
last year’s examination? Especially during the holidays? No, I mean
especially during the Christmas season? (Sorry, caught myself being
PC there...)

I’m still doing this issue on a different computer. ½ of my
computer parts for the broken computer arrived today, and the other
half should be here tomorrow. Let’s see if I remember how to put a
computer together. (~AND~ make it work)

Let’s see, what else is going on? At just over a year in my current
computer guy position, I’ll be taking the on-call duty for the
whole state on Thursday night. That should be interesting. I think
they’re going to put me in the regular rotation starting next month
anyway, so this will be good practice.

Oh, and one last thing... I’ve had the blogspot site going for just
over a year. It looks like in the next day or two one of the next
130 visitors (as of this writing) to the blog site will be our
lucky 10,000th visitor. Yipee. Wouldn’t that be cool if we could
give out $10,000 to our lucky visitor? Yeah, right. If money grew
on trees, then we wouldn’t have to worry about that 10,000 penny
per kid budget for Christmas. Like we ever keep that one!

Anyway,
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty


=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

Hey Marty, Thanks for publishing that story. It is for real. On
your 'Worlds Thinnest Books' how about either "Performance
Enhancing Drugs I have NOT Tried" OR "Media People Who Love Barry
Bonds". Or Tales of Compassion from the life of Barry Bonds" All of
course by Barry Bonds.
~Todd H.

Friends,
There is a growing trend in America to remove "Christmas" from
holiday advertising... ...Thank you and Merry Christmas!
Gail F.

[Thanks Gail! Gail sent an interesting email to sign a petition.
(You can find it on-line if you’re interested) Did you know that
Target stores didn’t use the word “Christmas” in any media, print,
or in-store advertisements for this years “Holliday Season”? A
little too PC in my opinion. But that’s just my opinion. I’m sure
you have your own. Here’s a couple of links.

http://www.afa.net/targetboycott.asp
http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/targetxmas.asp

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

12/06 - Stormy Elephants

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
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We got our first real storm of the season today. Mostly cold air,
but it did leave about 3 or 4 inches of snow. Just enough to really
slow rush hour traffic down today. Son #4, my sweet wife and I went
to two eye appointments at 3:00 today. They found that he has some
light sensitivity in his right eye (which I thought was totally
gone). He has improved a little seeing close (now 20/80) but got a
little worse since the radiation on seeing things far away
(20/200). I guess that’s considered legally blind.

Anyway, with the storm it took us just over 2 hours to get from the
University eye center and Children’s hospital to our home. I didn’t
even stop. I continued on to the church where we had young men and
young women combined activity at 7PM. We went and sang carols in
the snow for about 45 minutes, and then opened white elephant
gifts.

Not much else going on today.

Anyway,
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

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Reader Comment Section:


None today

Monday, December 05, 2005

12/05 - YahooGroups Problems and Stuff

First - Big problems. It appears that my yahoogroups account has been deactivated.
Does anyone know how to get to someone who can help?
I guess it's just the blog site until I can figure 'er out.

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Monday, December 05, 2005
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Lots and lots of stuff going on this weekend. Son #4 finished his
radiation treatments on Friday. Finally. We went for Pizza as
planned and took a bunch of pictures of the cake and the gang, but my
computer motherboard took a dive, (My computer crashed) so I don’t have
anyway to upload the pictures yet. I think the
drive is still fine. [knock on wood] New parts were ordered this
morning, so maybe by the end of the week we’ll have pictures... So
I’m doing tonight’s issue on a different computer. Let’s see how
things turn out.

Saturday night the local Make-a-Wish foundation invited us to
“Cookies with Santa” party. We made little crafts, ate cookies, and
the little ones saw Santa. Ok, the big ones did too. I think son #1
really enjoyed his time there too; He met a girl from school whose
little sister had CF. They sat and talked the whole night. My
little boy; Son #1, all grow’n up so big. I was once a teenager
too. I watched those two like a hawk!

At the party there was a newspaper photographer there who took a
bunch of pics of our kids. Son #4 made it into the local paper!
(See below) Son #1 was a little disappointed. “Hey, they took my
picture, why didn’t they use it!?” The best comment I heard about
his picture in the paper; “His smile is as big as his hat!” The
worst; “That’s funny, it make it sound like he really does have a
life threatening disease.” Grr... I guess some people either don’t
get it, or have a pretty tactless sense of humor.

So, here’s something good that happened today. Out of 350-400
employees at my office, guess who got the “Employee of the month”
for December? Yup, me! It comes with 2 movie passes, $25 for
dinner, a cool certificate to put on the wall, and best of all, my
own parking place! Now it’s only going to cost me $50 to pay off
the committee chairperson. (grin)

And something funny; Son #4 came walking up the stairs yesterday.
“Dad, I grounded [son #1] forever.” I said, “Why did you do that?”
He replied, “Because he was playing on the computer, and won’t let
me play with the joystick.” I smiled and said, “Oh, and how were
you able to ground him? What authority do you have over him?” He
looked at me like he didn’t understand. I continued, “Are you older
than him?” He shook his head ‘no’. “Are you bigger than him?” ‘no’
I continued, “Are you his daddy?” ‘no’ “Do you have Priesthood
authority over him?” ‘no’. So I said to him, “How can you ground
him? What power do you have?” He thought for a second, smiled and
said, “Super Hero Power!” I smiled at him and said I didn’t think
that worked with older brothers.

I think he’s been listening to his song again.

We got a couple of surprises in the post office box today. Conn W.
sent a WAY cool hat from South Africa. Very colorful and warm. It’s
got thick soft spikes on the top of it and a South African flag on
the front. I also took pics of that tonight. We had the extended
family making traditional Christmas candy for family night, but
again, no computer to get them out of the camera. We also got a
very nice Christmas card from Douglas S. A really cool guy that we
‘met’ on-line. He’s got a cute daughter with the same type of tumor
son #4 had.

Anyway,
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. Here’s the caption in the newspaper with son #4’s picture (The
pic is on the blog site)

Cookies and fun

[Marty’s Son #4, age] 4, gets a temporary tattoo from volunteer
Megan C. at the Make-A-Wish "Cookies with Santa" Christmas party
Saturday at A Wishing Place in Murray. Children came dressed in
their pajamas for cookies with Santa, crafts and a short movie. As
a brain-tumor patient, [son #4] is one of the children with a life-
threatening medical condition who are served by Make-A-Wish
Foundation.

p.p.s. Oh, and one last thing. Son #2 and I are going to try out
for a church play this weekend. It’s “The Music Man” and they’re
holding it downtown at a 20,000 seat conference center. (That’s
what I heard anyway.) More later.

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

Hi Marty
Your comment on having to "despoil" Son #4 made me laugh and think
about my son. He is only 7 months old, but a little manipulator
already :) Recently we had to go back to a kidney specialist for a
whole new round of tests and one of the nurses had to take blood
before the test. He was a little sleepy at the time, so the whole
thing was a huge disaster, with screaming and kicking and the whole
works, even tho he is pretty used to the whole thing. Anyways, in
between pokes, the female nurse picked him up to comfort him and
when she did he laid his big ole head down on her shoulder, wrapped
his chubby little arms around her neck and gave a big
snuggle..........the nurse almost melted into a puddle :) Then he
looked up at her with big crocodile tears in his eyes and smiled,
like "hee hee hee" He was all sweet and charming, then when he
realized that all the smiles and snuggles in the world weren’t
going to make him not have any more tests done, he let lose a reign
of terror :) The nurse couldn’t believe it :) Whoever said babies
have no idea whats going on or that they cant manipulate has met my
son :)
~Amanda P.

A friend of mine was checking her son's math homework and one of
the questions said: How can you make $15.55 with 2 bills and 3
coins? His answer: DO CHORES. Then when she told him the answer was
a $10 bill, a $5 bill, 2 quarters and a nickel, he said, " Mom,
that isn't what the question asked. It says, 'HOW CAN YOU make
$15.55?' I don't have a job so I do CHORES. DUH, MOM!!!!
~Todd H.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

12/01 - Last Day to Spoil

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Thursday, December 01, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

32/33 = 97%!!

Tomorrow is the big day. It’s son #4’s last radiation treatment!
We’re planning some celebratory events, but haven’t got past
dinner yet. He said he wanted to go to the place where we watch
them make pizza, so it’s Pie Pizzeria for dinner. My sweet wife
also bought some mini bags of cheetos for the nurses as gifts to
give out tomorrow. She put on little notes on them to say thanks.

My sweet wife also promised son #4 a cake for his last treatment
day. So they went to the grocery story and picked out a plain
single layer cake. She asked him what he wanted to put on it, and
he said, “Congrats Son #4” So the baker wrote it in green
frosting. (His favorite color) The she said, “How do you like it?”
He said, “It needs more color” So she got out the red, blue, and
orange frostings and started to plop more frosting on. Then he
said he wanted to help, so he went behind the counter and showed
her were to put frosting. He got board with that and then got the
frosting from her and started putting it on the cake by himself.

Hmmm... Weren’t we just talking about a little spoilage yesterday?

Ok, the day after tomorrow I’ll start beating him back into shape.
(Just kidding. Don’t call the ASPCA on me!)

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

P.S.

Son #4 got another baseball hat in the post office box today!
Yippee, his favorite color, green! Thanks to Brian C. for that
one. He says, “This hat came from the Grand Illumination Parade
held in downtown Norfolk, VA” It looks like a Cool parade Brian,
thanks!

He also got a hat and a t-shirt from my ‘Harry Potter’ friend at
work. It’s an XBOX 360 hat and shirt they got when they WON(!) an
XBOX from every10minutes.com. Some people have all the luck ‘eh?


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Reader Comment Section:
None today

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A story a day until Christmas
Here’s day 2