Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

4/10 - Oh Crap!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Darn, if I shoulda, woulda, coulda, studied a bit more for my test
today, I could have done better. But, everything is pulling my
strings every which way. (Then my #1 mom sends me a letter that I
put in our 3rd joke spot today. Just a wee bit more pressure.
[grin] Although I did invite her to lunch last Friday which she
politely declined...) Anyway, I won’t know what the results of my
Biology test until Thursday and no sense worrying about it now. I
just need a good enough grade so work will pay for the classes.

While I was at school, my sweet wife went to her ISA meeting.
and son #1 was at Scouts. So, #2, #3 and #4 were at Grandmas. I
stopped by to pick them up and they were watching the history
channel. It was “All About Plumbing” or something like that. They
were really interested, especially when they showed the inventor
of the flush toilet, Thomas Crapper. The boys were rolling on
the floor laughing when the lady said, “and people started saying
where going to the crapper, because that’s what the toilet said
on it.” The boys thought that was the funniest thing in the world.
Then they started getting even sillier telling Crapper joke.
Even son #4 got into the act. But, when we started to leave I got
serious and told them, “Ok, enough Thomas Crapper jokes. We’ve
had our fun, but that’s the end. Ok?” They stopped joking but
were still smiling.

I actually have a pretty good bunch of boys. They know when to
have fun, and when to stop. At least most of the time...

Enjoy Today’s Jokes!

Headline news;

Remember the female Marine who was captured by Iran for 13 days.
Pretty interesting what she said to Ahmadinejad before she left.
I’d have thought about giving him what-for, but not sure I would

Faye's blast at squirming tyrant
GUTSY Faye Turney turned the tables on Iranian tyrant Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad as he freed her in front of TV cameras — making

Today’s Video Section

Here’s a cool little video that was on Good Morning America. This
guy made a cool video of kitchen sounds. It’s “A song made
entirely with things I found in my kitchen. It starts slow, but
gets going fast! It carries a reference to my previous video
'Pancakes'. As seen on ABC's Good Morning America!”

Beat Soufflé

And, of course, it couldn’t be a whole day without
Chad Vader episode 6!


My sister-in-law Bonnie was very busy one day working in her
house. She had just gotten to the basement after quite a few trips
up and down when she heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly,
she ran back up the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other
end. "Hello, is this Bonnie D?"


"We are calling people in your area and would like to know if you
would help us by participating in a brief survey."

Without missing a beat, she told them, "I'm very busy right now.
You will have to survey your own briefs."


Google has implemented a new feature which enables you to type a
telephone number into the search bar and hit enter and you will be
given the person's name and address. If you then hit MapQuest, you
will get a map to the person's house. Everyone should be aware of
this! It's a nationwide reverse telephone book.

If a child gives out his/her phone number, someone can now look it
up to find out where he/she lives. The safety issues are obvious,
and alarming.

Note that you can have your phone number removed or blocked. I
tried my number and it came up along with the mapquest and
directions straight to our house. I did fill out the removal form
for myself, and encourage all of you to do the same. Quite scary.

Please look up your own number.

In order to test whether your phone number is mapped, go to:
google (http://www.google.com/) Type your phone number in the
search bar (i.e. 555-555-1212) and hit enter. If you want to BLOCK
Google from divulging your private information, simply click on
your telephone number and then click on the Removal Form. Removal
takes 48-hours.

Check your own number and although this may not apply to you if
you have an unlisted number or cell phone as primary contact, but
you may know someone who needs to know this.

Please share this information with friends and family.


After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another
woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know
this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who
has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my
three children had made it possible to visit her only

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a

"What's wrong, are you well," she asked?

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call
or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,"
I responded. "Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like
that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit
nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too,
seemed to be nervous about our date.

She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair
and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last
wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told
my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were
impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to
hear about our meeting."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice
and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only
read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes
and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on
her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you
were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing
extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's
life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you
again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very
nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It
happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything
for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a
restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure
that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates –
one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what
that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I
LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the
time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till
"some other time".

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  • At 7:19 PM, Blogger sally said…

    I have not been able to figure out how to block my phone #. I clicked on my # everytime I saw it, to no avail. It's scary to think that someone could find my house that easily!!

    Love your BLOG!

    I just started school, too, so I know how hard that can be.


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