Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, February 27, 2006

2/27 - Jumping as high as a plane

Monday, February 27, 2006

I told you a few weeks ago to stay tuned, and I would tell you
about our trip to the Make-a-wish “wishing place”
( http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/2006/01/124-casting-error.html )
Well, they granted son #4 a wish to go to Disney World with the
whole family. (With some coaxing from his brothers, just days
before his choice...) But he seemed genuinely happy with the wish.

But, a week ago Sunday, one of the wish grantors came by the house
to deliver some stuff. They brought him some small toys to open,
one a week, until his wish date. They also brought him a special
Make-a-wish hat that only ‘wish kids’ get. It’s got a picture of
Aladdin on it, and he loves it. He wears that thing all the time,
and won’t even take it off when he goes to bed. (Even though he
doesn’t know who Aladdin is. Apparently we haven’t kept up with
the Disney indoctrination in a timely manner.)

Anyway, when she pulled out our itinerary she told us the dates
that we’re leaving, and then said, “You’ll get on the plane at
7:50AM...” and that’s all it took. Son #4’s eyes got really big
and he yelled, “I GET TO GO ON A PLANE! Yahoo!!” then he started
jumping up and down on the couch, “I get to go on a plane!”

Ahh... there’ll certainly be more than that little one...

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
p.s. For those of you who missed it last week, here’s the feel
good story of the basketball kid from last week.


Reader Comment Section:

Loved the photo blog, especially the Va Va Voom photo. Wow. (Boy,
is she going to get you for that!) But that's how I remember her
from high school, but you wouldn't let anyone else date her!

[You know old friend, I knew even back then, what a catch I had!]

Georgous picture of your 'sweet wife' that was taken for her
birthday! And by the way, yes we Canadians DO have the internet!
You may have wanted to build igloos but we don't live in any! At
least not in the few houses around where I live. I obviously live
in Canada but I don't know where Justin is!
~Paulette D.

[And here are the captions for our first caption contest from the
picture on the blogsite. (http://martysjotd.blogspot.com]

Is this all we get for dinner, Big Daddy?
~#1 Mom

Do they expect us to eat every single one of these crackers?
~Serena S. from NC

"Watch this first... "
~Bob B.

Good morning! I looked at that cute picture, and the first thought
that came to mind was, with all those you-have-got-to-be-kidding-
me expressions, was, "You want us to build THAT with these
Have a great weekend!
~Diane W.

Hello Marty,
I love your stories, keep it up! Here's one for the caption
contest :
Can we eat now? Can we eat now? CAN WE EAT NOW???
Hugo R.
Montreal QC, Canada

[Thanks all who sent in suggestions!]

Thursday, February 23, 2006

2/23 - Caption Contest!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Well that was fun. I put 8 pictures of my family on the blog, and
my sweet wife said 7 of them were really cute. She said, “Now
people will know why I smacked you in the eye; For putting
pictures of me making faces on your site!”


But, I don’t feel ~too~ awful bad about putting that picture up.
Tonight they called everyone for play practice to come in for
promotional portraits. I thought, cool! This is actually big time
production stuff. I’ll have professional portraits done of son #2,
my sweet wife, and me. Hmm... a portrait of me. Me and my black
eye. The photographer promised me that she could Photoshop out a
simple black eye for me. I hope she’s as good as my sweet wife!

At lunch today my sweet wife and I were chuckling over some of the
pictures that I put up last night, and she mentioned that I
skimped a little on son #3 in the photo line up. So, for tonight’s
issue, I’ve put up a funny photo and we’re going to have our first
photo caption contest. Head on over to the blog
(http://martysjotd.blogspot.com) and check out the picture, and
send me a funny caption to go along with it. It’s Thursday, so
I’ll give you the weekend to email me captions.

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

p.s. BTW, I was over at Justin’s dad’s house last Friday. Justin
was on the phone talking with his mom. His mom looked at me and
said, “Hey wait, Justin has something for you...” She said he was
looking around for it. He didn’t find it, and then said he didn’t
want to talk to me on the phone. Bummer. But I know Justin is
somewhere. He might be back in Canada saying hi to friends. I
think they have internet connections in Canada. Don’t they?

If anyone knows where Justin is, say “Hi” for me!

Reader Comment Section:

Thanks alot, FOR ALL OF YOUR "JOTD's, and extra kudos for 'photo
blog'. kutgw!
Bob B.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

2/22 - Photo Blog Day

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

First, I want to tell you I’ve found an unorthodox way of getting
my children to bed at an early hour. “HEY!” I yelled at them while
walking in the computer room about 8:45 tonight. They were all
playing one sort of game system or another. “None of you are
supposed to be playing games. Your rooms aren’t clean!” (Oh, so
what good is grounding them from games if they all sneak down to
play anyway? I need to find a better way to police this.) “Ok, all
of you, turn off the computers and MARCH to your rooms and CLEAN
for 20 minutes. Now!”

Funny, by 9PM they were all in bed saying they were tired. Maybe I
should get them to ‘clean’ their rooms more often.

Second, I’ve been thinking of Jim in Indiana’s comment today.

>Hey Marty, Would you like some cheese with that wine? What black
>eye? I could see it with my magnifying glass. Otherwise that's
>just a 'love pat'.
>Love your stories,
>jim in Indiana

Yeah, well, it might not have looked ~that~ big, but I thought it
was big enough. (grin). Then I thought about getting a better
picture of me (son #1 took the shaky one on the blog) and having my
sweet wife doctor it up in Photoshop (she’s a master photoshopper!)
to give me a proper black eye. But I couldn’t find a good enough
picture. I went through the hundreds of pictures we’ve got, and
thought, “Hey, I bet everyone would like to see that one, oh, and
that one too.” There are tons of cool pictures for you. So, I put
a dozen or so pictures of us up on the blog site with some

Count today as a photo blog.
( http://www.martysjotd.blogspot.com )

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:


This is when it all started. Way back when
We were both pretty good looking back then 'eh?

Sons #1 and #2 Selling Popcorn one spring

This is one of my favorite pictures. We spent
my sweet wife's birthday getting her dolled
up for this series of pictures. Va Va Voom!

In contrast, this is my sweet wife before she
tries to eat the children. She'll tell you it
was a self photograph for a college class.
Yup, right honey...

This was a Saturday when Grandpa drove his horse
two hours down to my house, just so my boys could
ride for a few minutes

This is my #1 mom reading to my boys

Son #4, My sweet wife and her "little" brother
on prom night

Brother-in-law taking a picture of son #4.

So, that wasn't so bad. I've got hundreds of them if you want to see more.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

2/21 - Fourteen say 'eye'

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Not too much to talk about today. For some dumb reason, I kept track of all the people who asked me what happened to my eye today. They all ranged from, “Oh, that’s too bad” to “You’d better keep in line, or she’ll pop you in the other eye!” After I told her that 14 people asked me what I did to get my black eye, My sweet wife said, “I’m never going to be able to show my face at your work again...” I felt
a little bad for her, but that I realized I was the one with the shiner! She did admit that it was probably better that I have the black eye and accuse her of beating me, than the other way around.

I posted a picture of me and the eye on the blog site. (http://martysjotd.blogspot.com). I also found a picture of son #4 back when he got his songs of love CD. I posted that one too. It’s a cute picture.

Tonight Son #4 was pretty upset when Sons #1 and #2 and I were going to Scouts with me. We told him that we were going to build and igloo and have a snowball fight. He wanted to go with us in the worst way. But, it was probably better that he didn’t. The snow was too crunchy and we just ended up playing capture the flag.

Anyway, have a great night.

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

Nine loads of laundry in one day? Nine? OH my heavens! I will
never complain again if I find clothes hiding in my older
daughter's room and get stuck doing 4 loads in one day, which has
happened to me more than once. But nine loads? I am speechless.
Your poor sweet wife must feel horrible about the black
eye, but I'd lay a lot of money on the fact that she loves and
appreciates you more than she can ever say for doing all that
Shannon in Nevada

Monday, February 20, 2006

2/20 - Busy weekend?

Monday, February 20, 2006

Oops, since its President’s day and I had the day off, I almost
forgot that it was time to do a blog entry. We had planned on
going to Randolph for our 7th two-hour trip since my dad died, to
do more cleaning, searching for tax papers, hauling stuff home,
etc. But since the weather report was for 15º below zero, and
snow, we decided at the last minute to stay home. That left a
whole 3 day weekend with nothing planed. This was a complete and
utterly strange experience for me. Since the middle of August when
son #4 had his tumor, I think every minute of every day of every
week has been scheduled. To compound that, when my dad died,
things just got worse. So, an empty three day weekend was
something welcomed.

But, this unscheduled weekend came with some guilt. A week or so
ago our Gospel Doctrine teacher called me up. “Hey Marty, I’m
going to be gone on President’s day weekend. Can you substitute
for me on Sunday?” There are two callings in the LDS church that
scare me more than anything else in the world; Gospel Doctrine
teacher is one of them. Gospel Doctrine is an hour long Sunday
school class where you learn different aspects of the Gospel. This
year we are studying the Old Testament, next year is the New
Testament. It goes on a 4 year rotation. Gospel Doctrine is where
all of the adults in the ward go for Sunday school. These are the
folks who stick around after sacrament meeting. Not the ones who
head home for football or a nice Sunday nap. These are the folks
who want to learn. So, they ask the instructor all sorts of
questions, and if you happen to be teaching, you’d better be
prepared with some good answers or you’re in trouble. I
substituted for this class several years ago and I can remember it
like it was yesterday. It wasn’t pleasant. I don’t mind teaching
12 and 13 year old boys (more my level anyway) but big people
scare me. Anyway, I told the instructor that I was going to be in
Randolph cleaning out my dad’s house for the entire weekend. So,
when we showed up to our church on Sunday anyway, I had pangs of
guilt. My sweet wife said he’ll never know, because he was gone
anyway. So, Shhh... no one tell ok?

Anyway, on Saturday because I had all of this time off, I had to
have a project to keep me busy. I decided that laundry was my
goal. I started at 7:15, and by the time Saturday night came
along, I had done 9 loads. It’s amazing we have that many clothes!
There were clothes under the kids’ beds, hiding here, hiding
there. It was mind boggling. I know my sweet wife appreciated it,
because she had 3 hours of play practice with son #2 on Saturday,
and couldn’t help much.

But, I’m not sure she showed her appreciation very well. When I
went to bed, she rolled over to cuddle, and elbowed me in the face
just under my eye. “OUCH!” I yelled. She apologized, and we fell
asleep. I had forgotten about the whole thing until the next
morning when I looked in the mirror. I now have a huge black eye.
When I showed her, I laughed, and she felt terrible.

Maybe that will get me out of laundry duty next weekend ‘eh?

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

I put a Vonage logo on the blog page. Reader Sandra B. signed up
this weekend and got a free month, and gave me one too! Thanks!

Reader Comment Section:

Lots and Lots of Comments today.

The Abbott and Costello bit was better than the original. I have
tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
~Jody H.

I've been reading your daily entries on your blog starting in
August & I've both laughed & cried. Thank you for sharing your
story. I liked the story your mom posted about Jim ‘duhing’ the
RN about the little doctor comment: ) You have a truly amazing
family. If you were here or I was there I would give you a great
big hug.
~Addie V.

[About Donna P’s comments last Thursday]

If [Marty] wasn't as honest as he is, THEN it would be cruel. What
he did, was send a reminder to watch out for that type of stuff.
Her manager didn't get involved, so she's not in any trouble, but
yet she is smarter for having met Marty, as am I. And this is from
someone who worked in fast food for 5 years. Frankly though, if
you can't give change correctly, you shouldn't be working the
~Jody H.

To Donna.
If you work with money You should be able to count. What is so
difficult about that? If I have to pay R12 and I give an R20 + R2
that just mean I want R10. It also mean I don't want to walk
around with a bag full of coins!
Kobus B.

I do NOT agree with Donna's statement! People today have come to
rely on calculators to do their math for them. Come on folks!
How hard is it to add and subtract whole numbers in your head!!!

Hi Marty,
I'm replying to your story about the cashier in the concession
stand. I work for a supermarket in my area (not as a cashier), but
I find myself simply amazed by the lack of basic math knowledge
when I'm checking out. Last week, my total at the checkout was
$20.51. I handed the cashier $21.01. He looked at me as if I was
mentally challenged and proceeded to ask me if I had another $.50.
He stood there while the line behind me backed up and I searched
through my purse and pockets for 2 more quarters. I tried
explaining to him that he was the one that owed me $.50, but he
wouldn't budge. I finally handed him another dollar bill, he
punched $22.01 on the cash tendered button and proceeded to hand
me back my $1.50 in change. Thank goodness the registers
automatically figure out the correct change when the cash is
tendered! Thank you for a funny and entertaining newsletter. May
God keep you and your family well.
~Paula M.

I really want to disagree with Donna P. This is whats wrong with
education today, the kids today can't seem to do simple math! What
with pictures on the registers instead of numbers and machines
telling them how much change to make on a transaction, they
haven't learned to make the simple transactions theirselves. So
how are these poor kids going to know when they are shorted on
thier pay checks or if billing errors are being made on their
charges? And people wonder about these kids who will be replacing
older professionals in the job market?...
~Ruth J.

You mentioned the story about "son #4's" day at the pool and when
you asked what did you today...then you commented and said it
must be a male thing...well, guess what it's a girl thing
too...every time my husband and I ask or if anyone asks my niece
(who is now 10) what did you do today, she says the same
thing...maybe it's their generation...BTW: I'm 46....just thought
I'd add my two cents... BTW: Love you letters...and oh yea, where
is Justin? Take care
~Jim M

I just read the email about the person who complained that you
were cruel to have given that cashier at the movies a hard time. I
must agree that if a cashier is feeling that a scam is going that
they have the right to not make a sale or better yet, call the
manager over to deal with it. On the other hand modern cash
registers, even old ones, have a feature on them called 'Cash
Tendered'. Even if a cashier is too overworked or otherwise
confused, all they have to due after entering the sale is to also
enter the amount that they are given. The 'Cash Tendered' feature
will provide the correct change amount and it is all printed on
the reciept/journal of the register. No math skills required. Just
count the money.
~Keith H.

Marty - I think anyone that works with cash should be able to make
change- people these days are too used to working with calculators
and cash registers that figure out the change. People are not
taught to think with their own brains- we are living in a society
when too much is done for us. I always believed that we should be
able to use the brains that God gave us to figure out something so
simple as making change. If a person is not able to do it on their
own, then they should not be working in that type of job. It must
be very stressful on them, as well as the customer. I do not think
you did anything wrong. When we make a purchase, we should, at the
very least, be sure of getting back the correct change.
~Rowena C.

Re:Giving change
I don't think what you did is cruel, but as someone who worked fast
food many years ago, I know it can be tough to do math on
demand when you've got people staring at you. I was good at math,
but I'd get flustered when people would try to throw me off, just
because they were sitting there staring at me. And cash registers
make it too easy for you to not have to do the math yourself
anymore. You punch in the amount the person gave you, and it
tells you the change you should give, then if the person tried to
give me more money after that, it would screw everything up. But I
agree, if you're going to work in the business, learn how to count
change back. And for customers, once they've figured out how much
to change to give you, don't try and give them more money - it's a

Hey Marty,
I would like to comment about what Donna had to say. Come on
people, cruel? Marty? Don't they have buttons on the cash
register that allow you to enter the amount you got as payment &
then it tells you the amount of change to give back? It is not
Rocket Science. It just takes a little thought. No one said the
girl was dumb.
~Jennifer K (AZ)

[Thanks everyone!]

Thursday, February 16, 2006

2/16 - Cruel to be kind

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Today was son #4’s day to go swimming with his visually impaired
pre-school class. He was really excited to go. They must have
played really hard, because when the bus pulled up to drop off son
#4, each and every kid was fast asleep.

But, things got back to normal at dinner time. “Son #4, what did
you do at school today?” I said, well knowing what he did. “I
don’t know dad...” Funny, that’s the same answer I get from every
boy in this house. It must be a male thing. So, we usually ask
what they ate for lunch, and that gets the ball rolling.

Have a great weekend!
For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

Talk about innumeracy (illiterate with numbers) I stopped by a
drive up restaurant where the waiter came out on roller skates,
and takes my order. My order came to $1.98, I handed the waiter a
$20 bill, and his eyes glazed over! The 2 pennies was the easy
part, he clicked them off the changer on his belt, but when he
went into his pocket for change, he produced a wad of bills, all
jumbled together. After fumbling for about a minute, he handed me
28 one dollar bills, and then waited for my reaction to determine
if he was correct. I however have a moral obligation against
taking advantage of simple minds, so I gave back the $10. I then
went on to add fries to my order, and he looked devastated! He
ended up giving me the fries, because he didn’t want to count out
change again! I guess the most important requirement was that he
could skate!
~Kenny M.

I think what you did to the poor girl at the theater with the $20
and $2 was out right cruel. I used to work in fast food as a
teenager and we had people come in all the time trying to scam the
cashiers into giving them back the incorrect change doing just
what you did. This would always happen at peak times and we were
told not to handle money exchanges like you did just because of
that! Not everyone is as quick at math as you are and when you
are trying to give fast service and someone tries what you did it
throws the cashier off. What you did was uncommon, but please
don't act like the cashier was dumb, she may have never been
handed payment like that before.
Donna P.

[Oh?... “out right cruel?”... Anyone care to comment on Donna’s

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

2/15 - Calculations

February 15, 2006

I forgot to tell you my funny story that happened at the dollar
theater Monday night. We were running a little late, (ok, as a
family we ~always~ run a little late.) But, after everyone got
seated in the theater, I decided to run out and get a couple of 32
oz drinks. The total was $7. I had a lot of $1 bills, so I
thought, “Let’s see how smart the counter lady is.” I handed her a
$20 bill two $1 bills for the $7 charge. That’s pretty easy right?
Not so. She put the $22 down on the cash drawer, and looked at it
for a long time. She pulled out $15 to give me as change, but then
grabbed it back just as I was about to take it. She put the money
in the cash drawer again made a strange face while looking at the
money. Then reluctantly she handed me the $15 again and said, “Is
that the right amount?” I played dumb. “Um, I don’t know. You tell
~me~ if that’s the right amount.” (Thinking to myself, uh huh,
that’s why a 50 year old woman is working at the dollar theatre.
If I were dishonest, I’d have said, ‘No, you owe me $2 more.’)
Anyway, she said, “Oh, I think that’s right.” I said, in a
praising tone of voice, “Yes, you’re right. That ~is~ the correct
change.” She said with a half smile, “Oh, you were just giving me
a hard time, weren’t you?”

Oh, no duh.

So, tonight was our Valentines dinner out because of Scouts
yesterday. Our waitress also added our ticket up incorrectly. She
over charged us by $2. After she brought back my card, we never
saw her again. I thought, “No big deal” I just circled the mistake
and gave her $2 less on the tip.

I think people should carry calculators.

Anyway, after dinner I didn’t want to go to the genealogy library
for fear of teasing from son #1 (or from my readers...) so we
snuck back inside the house, while the boys were playing
downstairs, and played a rousing game of Mexican Train Dominos. (I
got a set yesterday as a Valentine gift.) But, I lost... I need a

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

My guess is that Tooele is pronounced 'Two-will-uh'
~Katrina B. from 'Ver-jin-ee-yuh'

[Nice try. You must have ties to Ewe-taw]

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

2/14 - Genealogy Twiterpation

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentines Day!

Son #1 got home and said that he got several nice valentine gifts
today. 3 friends (all girls) decorated his locker at school. And
he said one girl told him today that she had a crush on him. At
dinner I asked him, “Son #1, are all three of these girls cute?”
Without much hesitation he said, “They’re all beautiful in their
own ways dad.”
Hmm... With that silver tongue, he’ll do just fine.

Son #2 raced home and told mom all about his day. When I got home
he ran to the door, “Dad, I got to dance today!” “There were 16
songs, and I danced with girls on TWELVE of them!” (Wow, with
GIRLS even! I assume he sat out 4 songs [grin]) 3 of the 12 dances
were with the same girl. “Dad, she even gave me a candy-gram!”
Oh, to be twiterpated by a candy-gram again...

Son #3 also ran up to me when I got home. “Dad, look! I have a
secret admirer.” He showed me a valentine card with a sucker (Yet
untouched I might add) that had “From: ?” and “To: Son #3” and at
the bottom it had “XXOO”.
Let’s see, you’re only half dating age. What are you doing getting
excited about girls?

Son #4 has been running up to mom for the last 3 days. “Mom, did
you get my stuff in the mail?” He LOVES the mailman, but would
never tell my sweet wife what was in the mail. Songs of Love even
put his wish of being a mailman in his special song. Today we got
a valentine from son #4 in the mail. Simple, but he thought it was
the coolest thing since propathal.

Tonight was Scout night, and months ago the scouts planed doing
service for the single sisters in the ward. We baked 10 dozen
cookies and gave them out in heart shaped baskets. Only, by the
time 6 hungry scouts were done making cookies, there were only 7
dozen left. That was just the perfect amount.

So, my sweet wife and I agreed that tomorrow night would be our
Valentines date night. I promise, no going to the genealogy branch
library for a date. (“Oh, boy, what an exciting date night!” said
Son #1 sarcastically a few weeks back.) I think we’re just getting
old and can’t think of cool things to do on date night.

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

Hi Marty!
Are you still happy with Vonage? I'm thinking of signing up.

[Yup! Vonage is the coolest thing since sliced bread! Click here
to check them out. Note: Self serving link. If you sign up with
this link, I get a free month... (But then, so do you)]

Monday, February 13, 2006

2/13 - Where's Randolph?

February 13, 2006

On my way home from work my sweet wife asked me to stop and get
some valentines for son #2 for tomorrow. While I was at the store
I called and confirmed with him that I was getting the right ones.
When I got home, my sweet wife said that son #2 had asked her to
make 4 more big “special” valentines. “Oh, and who are these for?”
she asked him. “Just some friends” he replied. She pressed
further, “So, are they for boys or for girls?” “Just some friends
mom.” Was his reply. Like any mom, my sweet wife zeroed right in.
“Ok, are they at least cute girls?” I think he turned beat red at
being ‘found out’.

*sigh* Not two of ‘em at the same time. I keep telling myself,
“They tell me girls are worse, they tell me girls are worse...”

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

p.s. We went to see Chicken Little tonight at the dollar theater
for family night. An interesting movie, but it was a little
intense for son #4 in the middle. He laid his head down on me and
covered his eyes at one point. Other than that, it was great.
However, I was a little disappointed at the very end. Usually we
stay until the credits are over to catch the little ‘extras’ that
they always have. Well, most always. Nothing but credits this
time. Darn.

p.p.s. This weekend we trekked another 4 hour round trip up to my
dad’s house in Randolph for more cleaning. (It was my 6th trip
since Christmas day.) The talk of the town was that their town of
340 voters made the national news for voting 95% for our President
in 2004. It was the highest percentage in the country. That sure
beats their previous claim to fame as always being the coldest
spot in Utah, and often the coldest spot in the country.

Reader Comment Section:

Hi Marty! Just want to tell you about a fabulous book I just read
called "Marley and Me": Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog,
by John Grogan. I laughed and cried and recognized my own little
guy on every page! Grogan writes a lot like you do, and makes
common everyday things into hilarious stories. I think you and
your family would enjoy it.

[I’ll have to borrow it. I’m too cheap to pay $16 on eBay! (grin)]

Maybe we should have a new kids book like the ' Where's Waldo' but
substitute Justin's name. He seems to be among the missing.

[Good observation Wanda, where IS that boy?]

Thursday, February 09, 2006

2/9 - Sneaky Boy Mean Dad

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Here’s a little joke.


Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would
you please do my homework for me?"

The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give
it a try, couldn't you?"


Speaking of homework; Each year about this time, our elementary
school has a science fair. Son #2 really wanted to do good this
year, so he thought long and hard about his science experiment.
Then, every other night at 8PM he’d run downstairs and yell, “I’ve
got to do my homework!” When I walked by, he’d be playing on his
computer, and I figured he was done.

The other night son #2 and #3 got in a pretty big fight. I
grounded them both from their computers, and told them that they’d
also have to clean up their rooms before I’d consider letting them
back on. Son #2 was devastated. “How am I going to do my science
project?!” It was then that I learned what his experiment was.

He wanted to see which activity would make him go to sleep faster;
Reading a book for 90 minutes, or playing on his computer for 90
minutes. He got about half way done with his experiment when dad
put the kybosh on his computer playing. (Or is it that he caused
this consequence because of his actions...?)

-OR -

Anyway, these kids will come up with just about any excuse to play
on their computers.

Hmm... so what to do what to do... Oh darn. He still hasn’t
cleaned his room. So, he’s not played his computer either. I’m so

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

Thanks Marty!!! That last part about women forgetting their worth
is great. [on yesterday’s JOTD] I was looking for something to top
off my Valentine's gift to my wife. That will do nicely.
~Todd H.

Hi Marty,
It's wonderful that [son #4] is so happy going to school and can't
wait to get there each day! I pray that his vision improves and
he can have a long and wonderful life. He is such a little doll
and is so lucky to have such loving and caring brothers (the nose
bleed) and parents. I think of you so often and pray that all goes
well for you.
With love, Betty H.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

2/8 - Waiting for that bloody bus

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

While my sweet wife ran to school to pick up son #1 today, son #2
called her and “freaked out” on the phone because son #4 had a
nose bleed. Son #2 was really worried about it and told my sweet
wife to hurry home as fast as she could. When she got home, she
took care of everything.

Last year we signed our other 3 boys up for Super Sibs. It’s a
group that helps siblings of kids who have cancer, so they don’t
feel left out. Anyway, they sent son #2 a book called Drums,
Girls, and Dangerous Pie
. It’s a story about a typical
8th grader whose 4 year old brother has a nose bleed, and it
turns out to be leukemia.

So, I guess we’re still just a little jittery here...

On the lighter side, son #4 has been asking my sweet wife to drive
him to school every day. She was worried that he was starting not
to like school, and wanted her with him all day long. After she
talked to him today, she found out the truth. It turns out that
after he gets dressed in the morning and eats breakfast, he runs
to the window to look for the school bus/van. If it isn’t there,
he just wants a quicker way to school. Apparently he’s too
impatient to wait.

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

2/8 - Special Edition

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Special Morning Edition;

Ok, every year I get a little annoyed with one of my local radio
stations. They always have a fund raising Radio-thon for a day in
February for Primary Children’s hospital. This hospital doesn’t
turn anyone away for lack of money. But, I was always a little
calloused and just flipped the channel to one of my other stations.

Well, things have a way of changing your mind, now don’t they? I’ve
told you all of our wonderful miracles that have happened in this
hospital, and son #4’s tumor. This year I think maybe we ought to
show our support by donating a penny for each reader who reads my
column. Today we have 5,739 readers. So, I’m challenging each of
you to donate $57.39 to this worthy cause. I did!

You can donate by going here

And you can listen to them on-line here


Here’s a note I put in with my donation;

My PCMC Story;

Since March of 2000 I’ve written “Marty’s Joke of the Day”, a
humorous Internet blog about raising 4 boys in Utah with “my sweet
wife”. In August of 2005, Doctors at PCMC found a lemon-sized brain
tumor in my 4-year old son. When my 5,739 readers across the world
found out about his tumor, everyone prayed for help during his 2
surgeries. I’m convinced that because of these prayers, with divine
intervention, and the skill of the surgeons at PCMC, my 4 year old
is making a wonderful recovery. Two weeks ago he even started
preschool at the Utah “preschool for the blind”. I’m donating
$57.39 for each of my readers, and challenge each of them to donate
the same amount to this wonderful hospital.

You can read our story here or here