Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

12/5 - Long day, longer night

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Whew, what a long day! Son #4 woke up late afternoon
yesterday, and had a few ice chips. Then about a dozen
straws full of water. After about an hour he had about ½ a
box of red fruit punch Gatorade. With morphine for the
pain, head surgery, and too much Gatorade all at once, he
spewed. Just like the kid on the tweety bird ride. And, it
got all over. It was such a nice red Gatorade color. And,
he got some on his new head covering. So, it’s now white
with red stains all over it. No worries, they take it off
tomorrow. (I’ll have the camera ready...)

He slept on and off most of the day yesterday, and my sweet
wife took first day then night shift. (That was how it was
supposed to be, according to son #4’s instructions prior to
surgery.) So, after leaving my sweet wife and son #4 at the
hospital yesterday, I headed over to my in-laws for some
dinner and to get the boys to do their homework. Then it
was off to home to do laundry and dishes.

After working a couple of hours this morning, I came back
to the hospital to give my sweet wife a break, who said she
got zero sleep last night in the ICU room with son #4. (I’m
SO looking forward to my turn tonight.)

Today, son #4 ate a little bit of eggs, ½ of a fruit
smoothie for breakfast, some chicken nuggets for lunch and
½ piece of cheesecake for dinner. He was pretty lethargic
during the day, but when his brothers came tonight, he was
having a great time. They played video games; tossed Mickey
mouse around a little bit, and had a great time. Brothers
are good medicine, but, it really wore him out. He slept
solid for the next 3 hours.

When he awoke tonight, I read him a book. In the middle of
it he tooted. And, just like the last time, he giggled. So,
I know things are back on track.

Speaking of tooting, make sure that if you’re on American
Airlines, you don’t do what this poor lady did.
“Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in

Anyway, thanks for all of the comments. Things are going
about as planned.


Read Comment Section

[On last Thursday’s edition]
hey marty,
Your joke about Johnny being sent to his room reminded me
of my own family. When my little sister was about 4 years
old (now 16) she was excused from the dinner table for bad
manners. She immediately put up a temper tantrum and cried
like little kids oftain do. Not more than two seconds
after turning the corner to her bedroom, she poked her head
around the corner, completely dry eyed and in a normal,
calm voice asked, "when i stop crying, can i come out?" My
mom calmly answered yes. And she began her temper all over
agin and cried so loud we could hear her from the other
room. It took her 5 minutes before she "stopped" crying
again to come out and finish dinner.
~Matt B. - Number one fan in Camarillo, CA

[Monday’s issues]
Dear Marty and Melody:
This is Robynn T. in Plano, Texas. I just wanted you to
know that we are all praying for [son #4] today. We will be
anxious to hear when he is out of surgery and on the road
to a speedy recovery. What a great family you have. You are
all in our thoughts and prayers today.

[Thank you Robynn! We decorated our tree this weekend and
the Christmas tree hat you sent last year was in our boxes.
The kids had a great time playing with it again this year!]

My thoughts and prayers are certainly with you and your
family. It's amazing how your strength holds on and on. May
you keep being blessed.

Thanks for the extra updates today Marty! There must be so
many people worldwide wishing your family well today, I
hope you can feel the support. Hope you & your wife were
able to get some good sleep at the hospital.
Best wishes,
~Ruth (UK)

Putting our kids' lives into the hands of a surgeon is one
of those supreme acts of faith. I pray this surgery is
successful. I pray for your family's faith.

You and your family are in my prayers that God will be with
you and bring you His peace and comfort.

Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your son. Give
him our best from Hong Kong. Regards,
~Allen A.

[Thank you everyone so much! And, for those of you who I
didn’t get back to, or put your comments here, thank you


If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000
troops in the theatre of operations during the last 22
months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, that gives a firearm
death rate of 60 per 10,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per
10,000 for the same period.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot
and killed in the U.S. Capitol, which has some of the
strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington


One morning I locked both sets of keys inside my
roommate's car. We finally managed to pry a clothes hanger
through a window, only to discover that the hanger was
useless on that type of lock. I remembered hearing that
firemen have a special tool for opening car doors, and
rushed inside to call. Fifteen minutes later a fire truck
rounded the corner, and a burly firefighter in boots,
yellow slicker and fire hat jumped out. In his hand he held
the special tool. It was a wire clothes hanger.

[As I was reading your JOTD and enjoying a sandwich with a
jar of Plochman's mustard near by, I noticed a mustard quiz
on the squeeze bottle. The questions but no answers. You
had to go to the web site for the rest of the quiz and the
answers. I thought you might enjoy this bit of knowledge.
~Wanda ]

Which country is the world’s largest producer of mustard

Which has a longer history, Plochman’s Mustard or a Van
Gogh painting?

How long have people been using mustard for seasoning?

Our company had been making mustard for 41 years before the
introduction of what mustard-loving food item at Chicago’s
Columbian Exposition?

What are the origins of the term “Mustard?”

What religious writings include references to mustard?

Which famous authors and speakers refer to mustard?

What famous conqueror sent his opponent a sack of mustard
seeds for intimidation?

How is mustard heat different from pepper heat?

What company made writing with food possible by inventing
the first successful squeeze mustard in the 1950’s?

The United States had how many states in 1852, the year we
were founded?

Which of the top 5 brands of mustard in the United States
is still family owned and operated?

for the answers go to http://www.plochman.com/fhm.htm
~Wanda D.


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