Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, December 11, 2006

12/11 - Hats and Hoops

Monday, December 11, 2006

I don’t feel quite as guilty now when I say, “No, let’s not go to
that this year.” We’ve had a busy fall and winter and whole year
for that matter, so we’ve passed up the Santa Train and other fun
stuff. This year I just want to sit back and relax during
Christmas time.

But, one tradition that we’ve always done, and I don’t mind doing,
is to take the train downtown to see the lights on Temple Square.
We did that tonight. It was pretty fun. Son #4 wore his hat that
Conn W. from South Africa sent him last year.

He got so many comments on his hat tonight. It was kinda fun,
until one guy started patting son #4’s hat. I just about grabbed
his arm to tell him to stop, but he already did. Guess I’m still
nervous about son #4’s surgery.

Anyway, I forgot to tell you that son #4 did make it into the
paper last week. But, I forgot to tell you about it, so here’s what
it said;

Below, Jazz players Ronnie Brewer and Paul Millsap visit with [Son
#4] at Primary Children's Medical Center on Wednesday. Jazz
players, Jazz Dancers, coaches and even the Jazz Bear visited kids
all over the hospital to boost spirits. Kalen M., left, clutches
a ball autographed by Mehmet Okur and Andrei Kirilenko who
visited him and other patients in the hospital.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?"
"Yes, it is," came the reply.
"Oh thank goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my
finger to the phone."


"Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer.
"You work hard and I ain't had to call the vet on you much. I only
wish you pulled the plow a little faster."
"NO!" said the horse, "I said 'feedbag' not 'feedback'."


President Bush was in South Dakota recently. There was an awkward
moment at Mount Rushmore when President Bush said, "Hey, look,
it's those guys on the money!"
~Conan O'brien


"I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as
my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use
my telephone"
~Bjarne Stronstrup (originator of C++ programming language)


A young couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop
at a rattlesnake farm they discovered along the road. After seeing
the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled
the snakes.

"Gosh!" exclaimed the young woman. "You certainly have a dangerous
job. Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?"

"Yes, on rare occasions," answered the handler.

"Well," she continued, "what do you do when you're bitten by a

"I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I
am bitten, I make cut across the fang entry and then suck the
poison from the wound."

"What, uh...what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a
rattler?" persisted the woman.

"Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn
who my real friends are."

"I've been studying up on some of my Las Vegas facts - did you
know, on the average, 151 people get married every day in Las
Vegas. One hundred and fifty-one. You know, shouldn't that be an
even number? Maybe I'm wrong."
~Jay Leno


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