Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, December 18, 2006

12/18 - A "Heck" of a Hymn

Monday, December 18, 2006

Remember that Olive Garden restaurant last week, where hundreds
got sick? They’ve found out that it’s the norovirus. I wonder,
after this weekend, if it spread to my little neck of the woods. I
got so sick on Sunday that I couldn’t get out of bed. I’ve never
had it come out of both ends so fast. So, it’s a quick story, then
early to bed for me again.

I didn’t go to church yesterday, but my sweet wife told me that as
they were singing the sacrament hymn #174, (While of these emblems
we partake
) son #4 noticed something. In the 3rd verse, with big
eyes and a gasp he said, “Mom, they said ‘Hell’, and that’s a bad
word.” She told him that it was ok to say it if they were
discussing the place, and not using it in anger. He said, “Oh,
ok.” Several minutes later he leaned up to her and said, “Mom, I’m
going to talk about the place called *fetch.”


Enjoy today’s Jokes!

*”fetch” is the Utah watered down version of another big swear
word. We’ve told our kids that using that word in anger, is also a
swear word.

p.s. Just some snopesy type messages today. Enjoy.


If you go to the web site at www.letssaythanks.com you can pick
out a thank you card and it will be sent to a soldier currently
serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to
some member of the armed services. It only takes a second and
wouldn't it be wonderful if they received a bunch of these.


Telephone tax refund
When it comes time to prepare and file your 2006 tax return, make
sure you don’t overlook the “federal excise tax refund credit.”
You claim the credit on line 71 of your form 1040. A similar line
will be available if you file the short form 1040A. If you have
family or friends who no longer file a tax return AND they have
their own land phone in their home and have been paying a phone
bill for years, make sure they know about this form 1040EZ-T.

What is this all about? Well the federal excise tax has been
charged to you on your phone bill for years. It is an old tax that
was assessed on your toll calls based on how far the call was
being made and how much time you talked on that call. When phone
companies began to offer flat fee phone service, challenges to the
excise tax ended up in federal courts in several districts of the
country. The challenges pointed out that flat fee/rate phone
service had nothing to do with the distance and the length of the
phone call. Therefore, the excise tax should/could not be


If you buy gift cards from a display rack that has various store
cards you may become a victim of theft. Crooks write down the card
numbers in the store and then wait a few days and call to see how
much of a balance THEY have on the card. Once they find the card
is "activated", they go online and start shopping. You may want to
purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do
not have the Gift Cards viewable to the public.


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