Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

12/28 - Home surgery

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Today we went to the plastic surgeon for son #4’s post-op check
up. We were running late and the roads were snowy, so I drove as
fast as I could and ‘white knuckled’ it all the way to the
University. When we arrived literally one minute early, they said,
“Oh, sorry, he hasn’t arrived yet, and when he does get here,
he’ll be at least an hour late.” Oh wonderful. I said, “It would
have been nice if someone could have called and let us know...”
The receptionist didn’t answer.

So we left and went to exchange some of Santa’s gifts while we
waited for the doc. When we were done, we walked back into the
docs office 90 minutes later. We got to see him within 10 minutes.
Both surgeons were there, (including the Doogie Howser one ).
As we talked with the surgeons about his bone graft, son #4
listened and asked questions and answered correctly (with his
impish grin of course). Then the doc asked something and son #4
answered with an answer well beyond his years. The doc looked him
squarely in the eye and said, “Thank you. And, how old did you say
you were?” son #4 answered quickly and then the doc said, “And
when’s your birthday?” again son #4 answered without hesitation.
The doc said ‘wow, that’s great’ gave him a high five and got up
to leave. Dr. Doogie had the biggest grin on her face, like son #4
had just made her day. I almost said, “Well he *is* ‘profoundly
socially adept

The plastic surgeon said that they could fix the bald spots on son
#4’s head. (Because of his radiation treatments)
They said they could put a bubble between his skull and skin and
stretch the skin for a month. Then they’d take the bubble out and
use the extra skin, with hair, to pull down over his bald spot. I
don’t know about that one; it’s just a little too cosmeticy for me
right now. Maybe in the future.

The doc also said to take vitamin E and rub and massage it into
the scar, twice a day, for several months. That’s supposed to help
it fade away. So, this afternoon my sweet wife got down a vitamin
E tablet. (It’s a plastic pill filled with liquid) She put it on
the counter and son #4 asked what it was for. She said he was
going to rub it on his scar to help it fade away. So he took it
and started rubbing his head with it. My sweet wife turned around
with scissors and said, “No, not yet. First I have to poke a hole
in it.” Son #4 grabbed his head in mortal fear, and screamed in
terror, “NO! Don’t poke a hole in my head!” She smiled and said,
“No silly. I have to poke a hole in the pill, not your head.”
After a second, he laughed and laughed. He said, “Mom, call dad
and tell him what I did so he can put it in the Joke of the day!”


Enjoy today’s Jokes!


A sick man turned to his doctor,
As he was preparing to leave the examination room and said,
"Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know?
You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door;
On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,
And as he opened the door,
A dog sprang into the room
And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said,
"Did you notice my dog?
He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.
I know little of what is on the other side of death,
But I do know one thing...
I know my Master is there and that is enough."
~Wanda D.


A group of Minnesota friends went deer hunting and paired off in
twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up
the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going
to steal Henry!"
~Wanda D.


I keep all of my New Year's resolutions, every single one. How do
I do it? Quite simple, really. After years of introspection and
many sessions with a Magic 8-Ball, I've developed a healthy
understanding of what I can and cannot do. Therefore, I keep my
resolutions realistic. For example, a few years ago I resolved to
gain five pounds. And I did. Last year I decided that I didn't
know enough curse words. Today my vocabulary is much richer. And
as for 2007? This will be the year I don't clean up my garage.
Andy Simmons - Senior Editor Readers Digest

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