Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

12/7 - I've never...

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Amazing. Absolutely incredible. But then you get used to it. That’s my kid I’m talking about. I guess I didn’t realize how good things were until one of the doctors said, “I’ve never...” today. Here’s what they said all week.

Monday: “We’ll have him in surgery for a couple of hours. He’ll be in ICU for a day or two, and then we’ll move him to the floor for several more days. He’ll be able to go home on Saturday, or Friday at the earliest.”

Tuesday: “He’s doing as good as can be expected. We’ll take the gauze off on Wednesday, see how things are going, and then take the draining tube out on Thursday, and he should be able to go home on Friday.”

Wednesday: “He’s doing really well today. We’ll pull the drainage tube out tomorrow and see how he feels. He might even be able to go home after lunch tomorrow.”

Thursday: “I’ve never released a patient this soon, but I don’t see any reason to keep him here. You’re welcome to keep him here another day if you don’t feel comfortable taking him home.”

This morning son #4 spent almost the entire morning cruising around the hospital and the Forever Young Zone, with mom chasing after him saying, “Slow down!” Two days ago he couldn’t move his head or stand up, and they said he was doing better than expected at that point. Today they couldn’t hold him down.

Just after son #4 turned 3, in 2004, there was a coke-a-cola commercial featuring Queen and the song “I want to break free”. For some reason son #4 really liked that commercial and sang it over and over. He still remembers it. When he heard he could go home today, he raised his hands above his head, yelled “Yipee!” and started dancing and singing, “I want to break free...”

I am 100% convinced that there is something about this kid that is quite extraordinary. Yeah, he’s my kid. Yeah, people say he’s, “so cute” and he has the personality that will charm the socks off of you. Even though all of that; I think he’s got to be on this earth either to do something special, to teach someone, or just to be an exceptional example to a lot of people. Or, he’s doing it right now. It’s strange, even at his young age; I am really in awe of him.

And, without waxing poetic, I am also 100% convinced of the divine power of fasting and praying for the righteous desires of our hearts. What better thing to fast and pray for, then a little kid going into surgery? What better outcome could we have asked for? Our family has truly been blessed. For that, I am grateful.

And thank all of you who helped!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comments

It's good to hear that things went so well for [#4] and for you
and [your sweet wife] so far. We fasted for [#4] and his doctors
on Sunday, and have kept you all in our prayers. Here's to a
speedy recovery!

Jimmy is looking great. It never ceases to amaze me how rapidly
the kids bounce back from brain surgery. That's quite an incision.
In San Diego they used dermabond to close Steven's incision, it's
awesome stuff, no stitches.


Here’s something to think about;

If you buy Gift Cards from a display rack that has various store
cards you may become a victim of theft. Crooks write down the card
numbers in the store and then wait a few days and call to see how
much of a balance THEY have on the card. Once they find the card
is "activated", they go online and start shopping. You may want to
purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do
not have the Gift Cards viewable to the public.

Snopes’d at http://www.snopes.com/fraud/sales/giftcard.asp


A man went into a motorcycle shop. He spent a couple of hours looking over the bikes and taking them for test drives. He
narrowed his choice to two bikes. One had a really high top speed,
but its acceleration was poor. The second had a lower top speed,
but it had a lot of torque and accelerated quickly. Eventually, he
decided to buy the second bike. It cost a lot less, because torque
is cheap.


After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch
potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling
beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no
matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just
shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on for many
months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at
a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a
hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble
running down the side of its mouth. The shopkeeper, observing her
fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported
"Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he
exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!" Immediately, the Goony bird
flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table
and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful
forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said,
"Goony bird! The shelf!" Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf
and demolished it in seconds. "Wow!" said the wife, "If this
doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she
bought the bird and took it home. When she entered the house, the
husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and
watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise
for you! A Goony bird!" The husband, in his usual bored tone
replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"
~Jeremiah G


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