1/29 - Dog Fruit II

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Monday, January 29, 2007
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It was a relatively quiet weekend. I was on call, and was sick
with a hacking cough. It doesn’t help with the annual January
inversion and all the particulates in the air. School is hard, but
then it’s supposed to be.

I’ll let you enjoy the comments from last week’s Buddy vs. the Pear paintings.

And,
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

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Hi, I definitely vote for the dog!!! The pear doesn't even look
like a pear!!! Tell your sweet wife to enter her work again and
again whenever she has a chance. It's worth looking at. She has a
gift.
Marge S.
[Thanks. Wait, I hid your last name. Are you related to Homer?]

I liked your wife's picture the best. It looked better than a
beginners work!! You have a very cute dog. She did a great job
I pray for your family often and I am glad that #4 is doing well.
Glad that you are going to school for radiography. I'm an RT and
last year our hospital went from films to PACS The images come out
a lot better than plain films. Great technology We can even
digitalize plain films to be viewed via computer.
~Vicki D
[Yeah, but that reminds me too much of work.]

Marty, Your Sweet Wife's painting is much better than that
painting of someone's backside. To me, that's what it looks like.
Sorry, but you asked.
~Semper Fi, Tom K.
[I told my sweet wife it looked like someone bending over picking
up something, but she told me I couldn’t say that here... Oops.]

Buddy looks like a dog. The pear kinda looks like a pear sitting
on a ??? in a room with lousy, swirly, shiny, wallpaper. Art is
subjective. The judging was done before meal time. The pear won.
FIDO - Forget It, Drive On
~C. M.
[FIDO ‘eh? I’ll have to remember that one. But, you’re right, but
it makes for a good couple of issues, don’t you think?]

Marty, I’ve been subscribing to you since 2000 and have always
wanted to keep up with your son #4. I’ve prayed for him since I
first learned of his brain tumor. This the first time that I’ve
ever made a comment but after checking out Sweet wives painting of
Buddy; I felt compelled to voice my indignation of the second
place ribbon. I do not understand the guide lines used in judging
these paintings but clearly to my “sticky hicks” background, Buddy
is the much better painting. Maybe it was because a pear can’t
move and doesn’t breathe. I’m appalled at the comparison and the
difference of the two paintings. I would like to know how they
make a decision. I think there should be a statement of what guide
lines are used in the judging and what are the characteristics
they look for in a painting and what exactly they base their
decision on. I’m afraid that I would have insisted on asking and
expecting an explanation. If they would post that information;
your sweet wife could make a more informed decision as to which
show she would like to place her work for consideration. Just
thinking out loud! Thanks for many years of excellent reading and
food for thought.
~Joni D. Houston, Tx.
[I think someone was hungry before they judged. As a friend told
me, FIDO... Houston ‘eh? I got a sister somewhere down there. Do
you know her? ‘grin’]

Hi Marty: I totally agree with you. I guess it's in the eye of the
beholder. I enjoy your updates and your insight into family
dynamics. Keep up the great work.
Shirley - New Brunswick, Canada
[Brr... isn’t it cold up there?]

Your wife's painting should have had first place. No question
about it. It's really good. I could probably have done the pear,
and I can't paint at all.
Sincerely, Aileen K.
[I couldn’t even do the pear, that’s why I compute for a living...]

Marty, I have to agree with you, the dog picture is MUCH better
than the pear. I liked the background on the pear, but that's
about it.
Jen B.

Maybe if [your sweet wife] had put little squigglies in the
background she could have won first place. Just kidding. I like
the dog picture more than the pear. How long has it been since I
have done a Friday issue? Man, I am a slacker. I'll try to get one
together tomorrow.
~Justin
[Slacker? Boy, I’ll say. But you did do a great issue yesterday,
and the readers, (And I!) thank you for it!]
Slacker...

Hi Marty, I prefer from far the pear. I think that art is more
than just reproducing reality. The pear is not for eating; it is
for looking at and also to feel the warmth emitting from the whole
picture. The dog is very cute and cuddly; I might want to have a
real dog like that in my house. But not on my wall! By the way, I
enjoy reading your stories about your family and also your jokes.
I often translate them in French and send them to my friends.
Have a good day
Jacqueline C. Near Montréal Canada
[Well, we do serve all kinds here. Montreal, isn’t that where
Justin served a church mission? Looks like he left some work up
there! Ok, I’m JUST kiddin’ around with ya. Thanks for the
comment.]

Boy, those judges need to have their heads examined!!! I love your
dog. He's so cute. Your beautiful wife has great talent. I hope
she pursues it and can paint to make big bucks. Glad your little
slugger is comming along alright. Kids are so resilient. God bless
you and your family.
Sally
[Thanks Sally!]

Marty, I'm sorry your sweet wife wasted her time filling out the
entry papers for that contest. Next time I hope she tries where
they appreciate good art. (She was definitely robbed of the 1st
place ribbon she deserved.)
Keep on keepin' on,
~Bob B.
[No worries. She had fun doing it!]

I was lucky enough to see the originals at that art show and I
said the same thing. Buddy beat the others, hands down. Of course,
I don't know anything about art. I did ask around and found that
the judge was supposed to be the best in the state. I won't
comment about that.
Love, Mom
[That painting would look great in your living room. Maybe we’ve
found a buyer folks! (grin)]

Dear Marty, I guess I don't understart art either! Your sweet
wife's dog is MILES ahead of the pear. (Ya' sure that's a pear?)
Sorry pear guy, but that is ugly -- unless perhaps you need a
touch of red somewhere in your house..........
~Betty H.
[Ahh... But art is art. Someone liked it.]

Hi Marty,Personally, I prefer the dog. But then I know zilch
about art. First or second your wife did very well & I hope she's pleased.
~Regards, Ruth R.

"BUDDY" BY A MILE !!!!
Lloyd C.

[Thanks for all the comments! Now on to the jokes.]

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Nothing rattles my father-in-law, especially while his favorite
team is playing. One afternoon we were watching football when my
mother-in-law shrieked from the kitchen, "Jim, there's a horsefly
in here." Without taking his eyes off the screen, my father-in-law
barked, "Give it some cough medicine."

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When we agreed to help our sergeant move to a new apartment, we
didn't know the elevator wasn't working. So after hours of
carrying heavy boxes and furniture up 11 floors, we were wiped
out. And when the sergeant asked us to search for his favorite
pot, no one moved. "I'll give a bottle of Scotch to whoever finds
it," he shouted. Within minutes, a private found the pot. "Good,"
said the sarge. "Now look for the Scotch."
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At the company water cooler, I bragged about my children's world
travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in
southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a yearlong research
project in India. One co-worker's quip, however, stopped me short.
"What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids want to
get so far away?"

1/24 - Oh the humanity!

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007
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Art is something that I don’t think I will ever understand. I’ve
been to the Chicago museum of art, and I know there’s some cool
stuff there. But, I’ve also seen the Picasso sculpture in Daley
plaza in Chicago. I don’t get that. Maybe I’m just a back woods,
“sticksy” sort of guy. (Or maybe those artists are the ones who
have it down, and can sell their “art” for big bucks.)

Anyway, my sweet wife put a painting in an art gallery competition
last week. When she got there they asked her if she was a
beginner, intermediate or advanced artist. She said, “Probably
intermediate.” They asked her what awards she had won. “Um, I got
a couple ribbons at the fair.” They said, “Ok, you’re a beginner”.
So, she entered “Buddy” a picture of our dog when he was a puppy.
I saw it today for the first time, and thought it was really well
done. (Especially for a “beginner”).

She got a 2nd place ribbon. When she told me, I said that was
really good for her first show. But, when I went to see it today,
I was disappointed that she didn’t get 1st place. They picked a
pear for the blue ribbon.

I don’t know. You guys tell me. I’ll let you decide. Let me know
what you think.


Second Place "Buddy"



First Place Pear

Email me your thoughts...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. The painting is for sale.

p.p.s. Last weekend when son #4 woke up after he left his tooth
under his pillow, he ran into my sweet wife and said, “Look mom!
It worked for me! I got money!”

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An orchestra was rehearsing a contemporary symphony in which there
was a particularly difficult jazz trumpet riff. However, none of
the trumpet players could play it. One trumpet player suggests
they hire in a jazz trumpeter. The conductor screams, "NO, NO,
NO!! Jazz musicians are irresponsible, can't play in tune, and
are not real musicians!!" Finally, they talk him into it.
The next night at 7:57 (for an 8:00 rehearsal) the jazz musician
shows up carrying his trumpet in a paper bag. The conductor
decides to wait until after to yell at him. But the jazz-man plays
the riff perfectly the first time. The conductor tries to thank
him after rehearsal, but the cat is gone. The next couple of
rehearsals go pretty much the same way, with the cat actually
playing the entire first trumpet part - perfectly. Finally, the
conductor grabs him after rehearsal and says, "You know, at first
I didn't want to hire you because I thought jazz musicians were
irresponsible and couldn't play in tune, but I must say you have
changed my mind. Thank you." The jazz-man says, "Well, cat, I
figure it's the least I could do since I can't make the gig."
~Shannon

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After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to
leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of
finding our cars in the crowded parking lot. Just then my car horn
beeped, and I was able to locate my vehicle easily. Wow," the
woman said. "I sure could use a gadget like that to help me find
my car." "Actually," I replied, "that's my husband."
~Wanda D

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When future U.S. president William Howard Taft was president of
the Philippine Commission in 1900, Secretary of War Elihu Root
cabled him to ask how he was--Root had heard that Taft was ill.
Taft, who weighed over 350 pounds, reassured Root by cabling that
he was much better and that he had, in fact, just returned from a
twenty-five-mile ride on horseback. Elihu Root cabled back, "How
is the horse?"

1/18 - Thursday Already?

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Thursday, January 18, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, is it Thursday already? Time flies when you’re having fun I
guess. Son #4 lost his tooth a couple of days ago. He wants to
wait until he can borrow Grandma’s tooth box to put it under his
pillow. Only, I haven’t had a chance to stop by and pick it up
from her. Does that make me a bad parent?

This week we’re doing an install of new radiology computer
equipment in Davis County. It’s about a 45 minute drive from my
house, and I’ve had to leave there late every night. Then I’ve got
school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It makes for an interesting
week. I’m certainly glad I didn’t schedule anything on Monday
nights so I can spend some time with the family!

But, tomorrow I’ll at least get to spend some time with son #2 on
a winter campout. Brr... with temps this cold, it better be worth
it!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

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The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true.
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me!
~#1 Mom

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My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state
trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping
to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when he
walked up to the car. "I have never been stopped like this
before," she said to the officer. "What do they usually do,
ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"

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An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor
was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked,
"To what do you attribute your good health?"

The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good
shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down
the fairways."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be
more to it. How old was your father when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my father's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your father is
still alive? How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with
me this morning. That's why he's still alive, he's a golfer."

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to
it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your
grandfather's still living! How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 118 yrs old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess
he went golfing with you this morning too?"

The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning because
he got married."

The doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-
old guy want to get married?"

The old timer shot back, "Who said he wanted to?"

1/15 - Cold prep work

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Monday, January 15, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brr... It’s a cold cold night out there. I took the garbage out
without a coat on, and when I got back I yelled, “WOW! It’s cold
out there!” (Ok, it’s only about 8º right now, but it’s still
cold...) Son #2 and #4 said, “Let me see!” So, son #4 went out
without a shirt and neither boy had shoes on. Son #4 was back in
about 10 seconds. Son #2 said, “I could stay out here all night,
it’s not cold.” We all stood by the door as he looked at the sky
and watched his breath. When he knocked on the door about 2
minutes later he said, “My feet are cold. Let me get some shoes on
and I’ll go right back outside.” He came in, but never went back
out.

Ok, so it’s just a little cold here. The guy on the radio said
Roosevelt Utah was -30º last night, but my dad’s town of Randolph
(which is usually the coldest) was only -24º I’m disappointed in
the old town. They can do better than that!

So, 98% of you reading this issue will have a warm furnace and
electricity tonight. But, what would happen if... Maybe we should
all think about getting a 72 hour kit for our homes and maybe a
contingency plan if things went bad quickly.

Keep warm...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty



=-=-=-
Reader Comments

Heya Marty:
Uh, listen, I regret to have to tell you this, but even though
your sweet wife was not there to hear what you told #4 about how
fifty cents would allow him to pass gas twice at the dinner table
which would cause him to put his money in the pizza jar, I am
positive that your dear son, with normal 5 year old enthusiasm
will tell her all about it. So you might get double your trouble
that way. :) Just a thought from a mom who's been there... Keep
up the great jokes and family stories.
Shannon in Nevada

[Somehow she found out. Maybe she snuck into my computer and read
the JOTD issue. Grin]

Marty, If your school costs arent reimbursed by your employer,
you can always use them as a tax deduction next year (because it
is work related). Amber K.

[True... but, can I have work pay for it and take the deduction?
Naw, not the right thing to do...]

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Noah was standing at the gangplank checking off the pairs of
animals when he saw three camels trying to get on board. "Wait a
minute!" he said. "Two each is the limit. One of you will have to
stay behind." "It won't be me," said the first camel. "I'm the
camel whose back is broken by the last straw." "I'm the one people
swallow while straining at a gnat," said the second. "And I am the
one that shall pass through the eye of a needle sooner than a rich
man shall enter heaven." said the third. "Well, I guess you had
better all come in," said Noah, "the world is going to need all of
you."

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Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I
work. So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise.
"Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the speed
limit is in our parking lot?" The long silence that followed was
interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends. Do you mean
coming in to work or leaving?"
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"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning
experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've
done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid."
~P. J. O'Rourke

1/12 - What goes in must come out

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Friday, January 12, 2007
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A special Friday morning edition;

Last night I got home from school, and it was getting late. My
sweet wife was at a meeting, so I told the kid that they should
get ready for bed. I told each one, “Don’t forget to brush your
teeth.” When it was son #4’s turn, he was so tired he wanted me to
brush them for him. “I’ll open my mouth and you brush dad...”

Son #4 has his first loose tooth. Now a loose tooth on this one is
a milestone. Because of his radiation treatments after the tumor,
they told us that it’s possible that some of his adult teeth won’t
come in. But, just like everything else, we just have to wait and
see.

Anyway, I told him about the tooth fairy. “If you pull your tooth
out put it under your pillow, you’ll get some money.” His eyes got
real big and he said, “How much?” [Son #3 yelled from his bed, “I
get a buck and a half!” Oh, thanks...] I told him the tooth fairy
usually starts off small and gives 50¢ per tooth. Then he asked,
“What does the tooth fair do with all of those teeth?” I thought
for a moment, digging back in my subconscious thinking ‘what does
she do with them?’ Then I remembered something I had heard...
“She builds a big white castle with them.” He seemed to think that
was ok. We brushed for awhile, and then he said, “Dad, how much is
50¢?” I said, “Hmm... let’s see. If you save your money, and pull
out a second tooth, you can get a dollar store toy.” He kind of
frowned. Then I said, “Or, 50¢ will let you fart twice at the
dinner table and put money in the pizza jar.” His face brightened
up and smiled. “Really?” He thought that was the best idea in the
world. He started to wiggle his tooth as he walked to his bedroom.

No, my sweet wife wasn’t there to hear me, or I would have gotten
in trouble.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. I had a friend send me a funny video this week. It’s a new
fangled way to get out of debt. I really think this one will work!



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"Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And
today Al Gore agreed with him. That's so typical. Two cyborgs
blaming the humans."
~Jay Leno

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A woman, her husband, and their four rambunctious young sons were
in their car waiting at a traffic. The woman glanced over at the
car next them, noticing a blissfully happy mother with her baby
daughter. Looking at her husband she said, "As soon as I lose my
weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter."
The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks,
and said, "Here, have another cookie."

[Ok, I changed it from 3 to 4 boys. It just sounded more...
natural.]

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"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his
anxious Patient. "You only have six months to live." The man sat
in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his
Composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no
medical Insurance. "I can't possibly pay you in that time."
"Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."

1/10 - Blues on a dime

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My sweet wife said that when son #4 got off of the bus-van today,
he was dejected and sad. “What’s wrong?” she said. He said, “Oh
mom, it was really bad today. It was the worst day in my whole
entire life time!” She said, “What happened today?” He thought for
just a second, shrugged his shoulders and said, “Oh, I don’t
remember.” And went inside to play.

Boy, wish I could turn off my blues that quickly...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty



=-=-=-
Reader Comments;

Hi Marty - enjoy your daily e-mails and hearing all about you and
your family.
~Pam

Hey marty, How about $465 Dollars worth of books....My apartment
cost $200 more then that for three months. Hmmm..a place to live
or books for school....choices.....
-Your Favorite brother in law

Hi Marty,
Since the books & courses are work related, maybe your work will
pay? If not, have you tried eBay and/or Amazon resellers? I needed
an Anatomy book for a course I'm doing & I found it on eBay at a
much lower price. Also, I found some very good Anatomy &
Physiology CD's on eBay to give me additional background. Last but
not least, some campus bookstores resell used textbooks.
Good Luck
Regards, Ruth

[Work will pay for my books, and tuition. As long as I get a B or
better. Guess I need to go study now.]

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One morning a big white goose showed up at our farm's chicken coop
and made herself at home. Knowing she had to belong to someone, I
called the state police to find out what to do. The trooper told
me to hold on while he checked. When he got back to me, it was
with these instructions: "First, preheat your oven to 400
degrees."
~Pam

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The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail
instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you
are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where
they went.
-Will Rogers

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can
spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal
man has ever made.
-M. Acklam

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise
-Unknown

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come
from a grocery with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a
cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a
man.
-Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you
a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of
that!'
- Dave Barry

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in
your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret

My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.
~Betty H.

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A few years ago we were desperately trying to sell our house,
which was situated on a busy thoroughfare. Our real estate agent
decided to have open-house inspection nearly every day to promote
the sale. We instructed the children not to talk to anyone about
the house.

One evening a man took our seven-year-old daughter aside and asked
if our house had any secrets he should know. Her first reaction
was to smile and ignore his question. But he became more
persistent and, finally, she confessed there was one secret but
she could not tell it to him.

"Now we're getting somewhere," he said. "Tell me the secret. I
promise I won't tell anyone."

She looked him straight in the eye and whispered, "We have
monsters in our sewer."

1/9 - You're serious!?

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five years ago, (or was it six?) I got a degree in computer
programming at the local community college. They run a pretty good
program. At least they did back then. Since I got my new job in
Radiology, I thought it was a good idea (and so did my boss) that
I take some classes about anatomy and radiology. I started
tonight. I’m taking a biology class which is a prerequisite for
anatomy. Plus I’m taking an on-line radiology class. There are two
book required for biology. There is one workbook for the lab, and
a big thick hard back for the class. I about had a heart attack
when I saw how much they were. $45 for a stupid workbook, and $150
for the book! Talk about sticker shock. I had heard books had gone
up in price, but this is ridiculous!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

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A wandering monk walked barefoot everywhere he went, to the point
that the soles of his feet eventually became quite thick and
leathery. And because he ate very little, he gradually became very
frail. Several days often passed between opportunities to brush
his teeth, so he usually had bad breath. Therefore, throughout the
region, he came to be known as the super-calloused fragile mystic
plagued with halitosis.
~Wanda D.

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Parents are expected to participate in their children's education,
and my friends were no exception. They gladly help their fifth-
grade son, Andrew, whenever he's stumped. One day after school,
Andrew ran into the house waving a paper in the air. "Hey, Mom,
great news! There were only three mistakes on my math homework,"
he announced. "You made one, Dad made one and I made one!"

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The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance
company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?"

"No," I replied.

"Would you like to consolidate all your debts?"

"I really don't have any," I said.

"How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried.

"I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," I
parried.

There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a husband?"

1/8 - Green Brine Water

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, January 08, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had a pretty good family night tonight. We voted at dinner to
watch ‘Return of the Pink Panther’ and have popcorn. I think I’ve
seen that movie about 100 times, but it’s still funny. The kids
liked it this time too.

This morning my sweet wife sent me an email about her conversation
with son #4 just before breakfast. She asked him what he wanted
and he said, “What you have?” (What do you have?) She replied that
we had eggs or cereal. With a disappointed look he said, “ohhhh!
We don't have any pickles!” So that’s what he got for breakfast. A
pickle. (and an apple and milk) Yuck. Milk and pickles. I think he
needs his potassium levels back up or something.

Why, once I even had a wife that loved to drink pickle juice.

What a minute, she’s still here!

And, did you know, they even sell pickle juice... check this out.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty


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During our engagement, Anthony would tease me about how I had
"trapped" him into proposing. He claimed he was just an innocent
bystander who had been swept into the upcoming nuptials. On our
wedding day, Anthony waited for me at the altar. As my parents
gave him my hand in matrimony, he turned to me and whispered,
"Gotcha."

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John was driving home from one of his business trips in Northern
Arizona when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of
the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car
and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride. With a silent
nod of thanks, the man got into the car. Resuming the journey,
John tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo
man. The old man just sat silently, looking intently at everything
he saw, studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown bag
on the seat next to John. "What in bag?" asked the old man. John
looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I
got it for my wife." The Navajo man was silent for another moment
or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he
said:... "Good trade....."
~Wanda D.

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One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting
on the couch chatting. Krystal asked, "Daddy, you're the boss of
the house, right?" Her father proudly replied, "Yes, I am the boss
of the house." But Krystal quickly burst his bubble when she added
"Cause Mommy put you in charge, huh Daddy?"
~Wanda D.

1/3 - Army Girl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had a great Christmas. One of son #4’s favorite present was the
one he picked out by himself. He took money from his Aunt and his
Grandpa, and spent almost 2 hours scouring Toys R Us for just the
perfect gift. After much thought and discussion, he picked out an
army vest with a knife, canteen, binoculars, map, and a walkie
talkie. He wore it solid for 3 days. (See cute pics on the blog)


Cute Boy


A knife in the cheek, 'eh?


Tuff guy...


Then, on January 1st it’s traditionally what we call “Game Day”.
We get as many people together as we can, which includes up to 11
grand kids, 9 adult kids, and Grandma and Grandpa. (Grandpa
usually turns his hearing aids off and just sits there and smiles
as the volume goes louder and louder.) I was trying to play chess
with brother in law #3, and we sort of got 3 or 4 games finished.
(Ever try to play chess with 11 screaming cousins?) The other
adults were playing Apples to Apples that Grandma and Grandpa got
for Christmas. At one point we heard my sister in law #4 say, of
her cute as a button 5 year old blonde daughter, “No, actually
she’s the sweetest little girl and very demure.” Just then she ran
around the corner wearing son #4’s army outfit, knife over head,
and growling.

The whole house erupted into laughter.

Sickness update; I think I found out what’s been going around our
house. (and Grandma and Grandpa, and the cousins...)
“Norovirus cases on the rise in Utah”

Anyway,
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. Have you heard about the two border patrol agents who are
going to jail in 2 weeks, sentenced for 11 to 12 years, for trying
to capture an illegal alien crossing the border with 800 pounds of
marijuana. It seems they chased the man, and after the alien beat
one agent, he turned and pointed a gun at the 2nd agent, who fired
and shot him in the butt. After the alien got free medial care,
the justice department gave the illegal alien immunity and
prosecuted the boarder agents for violating the alien’s civil
rights.

See a couple of CNN reports here, and sign a petition here...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aYOVZOAS6C4
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y13OK1UXi0k
http://www.grassfire.org/142/petition.asp

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To get to our family reunion in Arizona, my husband flew from the
Navy base in San Diego to the Air Force base in Tucson. I took an
earlier commercial flight, and my sister and I met him at the air
base. We showered him with kisses and hugs as we walked with our
arms around him, giggling as we went. When my husband noticed that
a young airman was looking on in amazement, he remarked, "Don't
you wish you had joined the Navy!"
~Reader's Digest

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An 80-year-old man was walking down the sidewalk one day and saw a
little frog sitting on the ground. The frog looked at the old man
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
Without hesitation, the old man picked up the frog and put it in
his shirt pocket. The frog was alarmed and said to him, "Why
haven't you kissed me?" "At my age," the man said, "I'd rather
have a talking frog!"

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A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first
performance of the Ice Capades. She was so mesmerized that she
wouldn't budge from her seat even during intermission, watching
the activity while the ice was cleaned. At the end of the show,
she exclaimed, "I know what I want to be when I grow up!" The
mother envisioned her on the ice in another 15 years, starring in
the Ice Capades. She was brought back to earth when she continued,
"I want to be a zamboni driver!"