Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, January 29, 2007

1/29 - Dog Fruit II

Monday, January 29, 2007

It was a relatively quiet weekend. I was on call, and was sick
with a hacking cough. It doesn’t help with the annual January
inversion and all the particulates in the air. School is hard, but
then it’s supposed to be.

I’ll let you enjoy the comments from last week’s Buddy vs. the Pear paintings.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


Hi, I definitely vote for the dog!!! The pear doesn't even look
like a pear!!! Tell your sweet wife to enter her work again and
again whenever she has a chance. It's worth looking at. She has a
Marge S.
[Thanks. Wait, I hid your last name. Are you related to Homer?]

I liked your wife's picture the best. It looked better than a
beginners work!! You have a very cute dog. She did a great job
I pray for your family often and I am glad that #4 is doing well.
Glad that you are going to school for radiography. I'm an RT and
last year our hospital went from films to PACS The images come out
a lot better than plain films. Great technology We can even
digitalize plain films to be viewed via computer.
~Vicki D
[Yeah, but that reminds me too much of work.]

Marty, Your Sweet Wife's painting is much better than that
painting of someone's backside. To me, that's what it looks like.
Sorry, but you asked.
~Semper Fi, Tom K.
[I told my sweet wife it looked like someone bending over picking
up something, but she told me I couldn’t say that here... Oops.]

Buddy looks like a dog. The pear kinda looks like a pear sitting
on a ??? in a room with lousy, swirly, shiny, wallpaper. Art is
subjective. The judging was done before meal time. The pear won.
FIDO - Forget It, Drive On
~C. M.
[FIDO ‘eh? I’ll have to remember that one. But, you’re right, but
it makes for a good couple of issues, don’t you think?]

Marty, I’ve been subscribing to you since 2000 and have always
wanted to keep up with your son #4. I’ve prayed for him since I
first learned of his brain tumor. This the first time that I’ve
ever made a comment but after checking out Sweet wives painting of
Buddy; I felt compelled to voice my indignation of the second
place ribbon. I do not understand the guide lines used in judging
these paintings but clearly to my “sticky hicks” background, Buddy
is the much better painting. Maybe it was because a pear can’t
move and doesn’t breathe. I’m appalled at the comparison and the
difference of the two paintings. I would like to know how they
make a decision. I think there should be a statement of what guide
lines are used in the judging and what are the characteristics
they look for in a painting and what exactly they base their
decision on. I’m afraid that I would have insisted on asking and
expecting an explanation. If they would post that information;
your sweet wife could make a more informed decision as to which
show she would like to place her work for consideration. Just
thinking out loud! Thanks for many years of excellent reading and
food for thought.
~Joni D. Houston, Tx.
[I think someone was hungry before they judged. As a friend told
me, FIDO... Houston ‘eh? I got a sister somewhere down there. Do
you know her? ‘grin’]

Hi Marty: I totally agree with you. I guess it's in the eye of the
beholder. I enjoy your updates and your insight into family
dynamics. Keep up the great work.
Shirley - New Brunswick, Canada
[Brr... isn’t it cold up there?]

Your wife's painting should have had first place. No question
about it. It's really good. I could probably have done the pear,
and I can't paint at all.
Sincerely, Aileen K.
[I couldn’t even do the pear, that’s why I compute for a living...]

Marty, I have to agree with you, the dog picture is MUCH better
than the pear. I liked the background on the pear, but that's
about it.
Jen B.

Maybe if [your sweet wife] had put little squigglies in the
background she could have won first place. Just kidding. I like
the dog picture more than the pear. How long has it been since I
have done a Friday issue? Man, I am a slacker. I'll try to get one
together tomorrow.
[Slacker? Boy, I’ll say. But you did do a great issue yesterday,
and the readers, (And I!) thank you for it!]

Hi Marty, I prefer from far the pear. I think that art is more
than just reproducing reality. The pear is not for eating; it is
for looking at and also to feel the warmth emitting from the whole
picture. The dog is very cute and cuddly; I might want to have a
real dog like that in my house. But not on my wall! By the way, I
enjoy reading your stories about your family and also your jokes.
I often translate them in French and send them to my friends.
Have a good day
Jacqueline C. Near Montréal Canada
[Well, we do serve all kinds here. Montreal, isn’t that where
Justin served a church mission? Looks like he left some work up
there! Ok, I’m JUST kiddin’ around with ya. Thanks for the

Boy, those judges need to have their heads examined!!! I love your
dog. He's so cute. Your beautiful wife has great talent. I hope
she pursues it and can paint to make big bucks. Glad your little
slugger is comming along alright. Kids are so resilient. God bless
you and your family.
[Thanks Sally!]

Marty, I'm sorry your sweet wife wasted her time filling out the
entry papers for that contest. Next time I hope she tries where
they appreciate good art. (She was definitely robbed of the 1st
place ribbon she deserved.)
Keep on keepin' on,
~Bob B.
[No worries. She had fun doing it!]

I was lucky enough to see the originals at that art show and I
said the same thing. Buddy beat the others, hands down. Of course,
I don't know anything about art. I did ask around and found that
the judge was supposed to be the best in the state. I won't
comment about that.
Love, Mom
[That painting would look great in your living room. Maybe we’ve
found a buyer folks! (grin)]

Dear Marty, I guess I don't understart art either! Your sweet
wife's dog is MILES ahead of the pear. (Ya' sure that's a pear?)
Sorry pear guy, but that is ugly -- unless perhaps you need a
touch of red somewhere in your house..........
~Betty H.
[Ahh... But art is art. Someone liked it.]

Hi Marty,Personally, I prefer the dog. But then I know zilch
about art. First or second your wife did very well & I hope she's pleased.
~Regards, Ruth R.

Lloyd C.

[Thanks for all the comments! Now on to the jokes.]

Nothing rattles my father-in-law, especially while his favorite
team is playing. One afternoon we were watching football when my
mother-in-law shrieked from the kitchen, "Jim, there's a horsefly
in here." Without taking his eyes off the screen, my father-in-law
barked, "Give it some cough medicine."

When we agreed to help our sergeant move to a new apartment, we
didn't know the elevator wasn't working. So after hours of
carrying heavy boxes and furniture up 11 floors, we were wiped
out. And when the sergeant asked us to search for his favorite
pot, no one moved. "I'll give a bottle of Scotch to whoever finds
it," he shouted. Within minutes, a private found the pot. "Good,"
said the sarge. "Now look for the Scotch."

At the company water cooler, I bragged about my children's world
travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in
southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a yearlong research
project in India. One co-worker's quip, however, stopped me short.
"What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids want to
get so far away?"

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