10/31 - Citizen Marty Rides the Halloween Train

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
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I thought I’d write an issue while on the train this morning,
because I know I’ll be a little busy with the boys tonight. Son #1
asked me last night if he could go to a party with some friends;
unfortunately he needs to get his grades up before he can go.
(Something we’ve been talking about for a couple of weeks or so.)
I think he knew my answer and didn’t give me a hard time when I
told him no. I think he’s growing up even more. It’s weird,
sometimes he’ll be just like a little kid and huff and puff and
whine about every issue we talk about, and other times, he seems
to be a gentle young man doing the hard, but right thing. The
family will all go trick or treating, but we’ll see what homework
progress son #1’s made for his party.

Although it’s Halloween, there are very few people wearing
costumes on the train this morning. There’s a girl (probably going
to the University) who is wearing Darth Maul make up on her face,
but wearing a suit, tie, and an old style business hat. I’m not
sure what she’s supposed to be. Maybe a bad boss... There’s also a
girl who’s wearing a red tutu with grey tights. Again, not sure
what she is supposed to be. Me, I’m wearing the same tired black
pants, old short sleeve button down shirt, and working on a
laptop. I’m going as a nerd. Speaking of nerds, I took Justin’s
nerd test yesterday. (You can find it on the yahoo email sight
here) I thought I’d score a little higher
than I did, but I’m a nerd nonetheless. Yeah, I admit I’ve
played D&D once or twice, but that was enough for me. Back to
train stuff; Salt Lake City is a pretty clean town. I hear
comments all of the time about how clean the streets are,
how friendly the people are, and how most things aren’t run
down, etc. etc. I’ve been on the ‘L’ in Chicago before. We rode
from the suburbs downtown several times. I’ve seen some pretty
scary stuff looking out the window of the L in Chicago. So,
they’re right, Salt Lake isn’t that bad. Yet, along the trax train
route, there is graffiti. Not all over the place mind you, but you
can see it if you care to look.



Graffiti and Chicago remind me of when I lived in a part of the
Salt Lake Valley called Kearns. (I’ve heard people say there is no
“bad” part of the Salt Lake Valley to live in, but there are
poorer parts. Kearns, in my humble opinion, is one of them.)
Kearns has some gang problems, and the graffiti to go with it.
When I lived there, my Brother-in-law gave me the knick name of

“Citizen Marty”. The exact reason why is another long story that I
can’t tell here. Anyway, 10 years ago I was on the Kearns town
council. It was an interesting job, but after a year and a half, I
decided politics was not my forte. During that time I was on the
neighborhood graffiti committee. One of the things the county task
force told us, was to make sure and clean up any graffiti quickly,
or it would just happen again and again. Our task force would keep
an eye out and report graffiti as soon as possible so the county
would come and clean it up. Of course, they were always busy and
sometimes took several days.

Within a few blocks of our house, the tagging problem wasn’t bad.
But one day a neighbor of mine two streets down, had a really long
white painted cinderblock wall. Someone tagged her fence early one
Saturday morning. When a few of the neighbors and I gathered
around her fence talking about it, I grabbed a can of white spray
paint and painted over the newly placed artwork. I did a pretty
good job, but my white paint wasn’t the same shade as this
neighbor’s previously painted white wall. She came out about 15
minutes later, and was really upset. Not that her wall got tagged,
but that I had painted her wall a different color than she had.
She told me, in not so pleasant words, that I shouldn’t have
painted her fence.

Go figure...


Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

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My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see
the Los Angeles Dodgers one night. Our seats were right behind the
third-base line. At the top of the first inning, the batter hit a
foul ball. Miraculously, I managed to catch it on the fly. As I
sat down, breathless with excitement, my wife turns to me and
says... "That was nice! How many of those do you get a game?"


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"It was on this day in 1865 that President Lincoln was shot at
Ford's Theatre by actor John Wilkes Booth. It was also the
beginning of a feud between Republican presidents and actors that
continues 'till this day."
~Jay Leno

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A farmer brought his daughter a little, pot-belly pet pig, which
she called "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but
she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty. "Tell me," he
asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That's easy," she replied. "Ballpoint is just his pen name."

10/30 - Classical Crown Burger

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Monday, October 30, 2006
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One night last week was son #1 and #2’s orchestra concert. All of
the grandparents were there too, and we all had a good time. Son
#1 dressed up as a pirate, complete with a mustache, aye liner (al
la Jack Sparrow?) and a dark hairy rug as chest hair. Son #2
grabbed his lederhosen outfit from the Sound of Music play and
wore those. They both looked pretty cool. The concert was about an
hour and a half, and was pretty good. They had 4 different groups;
the beginning orchestra, advanced orchestra, jazz band, and full
orchestra (woodwinds, brass and strings). Although I didn’t think
the band did a terrific job, (of course, none of my boys were in
it) I think the best number of the night was the band doing ‘Mars’
from Holst’s The Planets. After the concert, we all went out to
Wendy’s for a night cap, and I treated everyone to a Frosty.

It’s funny, I never used to like classical music, but over the
years I think I’ve grown into it. I can almost tell the difference
between Bach and Beethoven. (But don’t quiz me on it...) My
maternal Grandmother said something one time that I never forgot.
She said, “Everyone loves classical music, but not everyone
realizes it.”

I’m composing this issue while riding the train to work Friday
morning. My office is close to the University which is just 2
stops away, and right now I’m sitting next to a person who is
looking at medical body parts on flash cards. Her cards remind me
of something my sweet wife said the other day while we were
talking about one of the JOTD issues; she said she was reading the
blog about son #4’s hospital visit, and her eyes glanced down to
the picture of the Crown Burger. She said for a second she thought
it was a picture of some one’s medical operation. She thought all
of the pastrami was someone’s meat hanging out of their body.
Yuck. I don’t think I’ll ever look at a crown burger in the same
way again!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments

Marty - hi,
Re the huge dilemma - my belief is laugh if off, it's your good
deed for the day and I live by; Give and you will get in return.
Cheers
Conn W.

Since you are "taking the train home", you should only charge for
the mileage from the train station to the other clinic, and back
to the train station. Just my opinion.
James in California

dilemma solved-just charge for wear and tear on your shoes, then
deduct from that the fresh air and excercise you enjoyed!
~Don

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As a professor at Texas A & M, I taught during the day and did
research at night. I would usually take a break around nine,
however, calling up the strategy game Warcraft on the Internet and
playing with an on-line team. One night I was paired with a
veteran of the game who was a master strategist. With him at the
helm, our troops crushed opponent after opponent, and after six
games we were undefeated. Suddenly my fearless leader informed me
his mom wanted him to go to bed. "How old are you?" I typed.
"Twelve," he replied. "How old are you?" Feeling my face redden, I
answered, "Eight."
~Ruby C.

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A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and
gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the
Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say
this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your
husband will die a violent death this year." Visibly shaken, the
woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single
flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep
breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the
Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get
away with it?"

=-=-=-

One day Count Dracula is walking down the street when suddenly 10
tons of smoked salmon sandwiches, sausage rolls, chicken wings,
chipolatas, tomato salad, pizza slices and crisps fall on him from
a great height and crush him to the ground. "Oh no!" he gasps with
his dying breath, "It's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"

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The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's
the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or
maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either
way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming
cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What
began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those
lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell
you about it: I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the
band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap
net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a
tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he
sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was
telling whom-ever he was talking with something about "a thousand
marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to
say. "Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job.
I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away
from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow
should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends
meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's "dance recital" he
continued. "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my
own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of
a "thousand marbles." "You see, I sat down one day and did a
little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five
years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average,
folks live about seventy-five years. "Now then, I multiplied 75
times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays
that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick
with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part. It took me until
I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail",
he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-
eight hundred Saturdays." "I got to thinking that if I lived to
be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to
enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble
they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up
1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear
plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear." "Every
Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it
away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused
more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like
watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your
priorities straight." "Now let me tell you one last thing before I
sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This
morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I
figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been
given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a
little more time." "It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend
more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on
the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT,
good morning!" You could have heard a pin drop on the band when
this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think
about, I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then
I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club
newsletter.. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a
kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."
"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile. "Oh, nothing
special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday
together with the kids. ! And hey, can we stop at a toy store
while we're out? I need to buy some marbles...
~#1 Mom

10/25 - Huge Dilemma

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Wednesday, October 25, 2006
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So, I think I told you about my driving experience when we moved
to Utah when I was a 15 year old kid. How I thought it was so cool
that I got to drive my dad’s truck, with 2 horses behind, in a
snow storm, coming over the Rocky Mountains. That was my real
baptism by fire introduction to driving. I used to love driving as
a kid. I thought it was cool, and because I had driven so much
longer than the other kids, I thought I was special. I even
remember asking older people if they enjoyed driving. All of them
used to say just about the same thing, “Not really. It’s just a
means to get somewhere.” Well, I’ve been taking the train off and
on for about 3 weeks now. I’ve decided that I really don’t like
riding the train. But I’ve decided I like driving less than taking
the train.

For the last two years while I worked computer support, when I
drove to my office, one of my excuses not to take public
transportation was that I needed my car for my job. If other
clinics in the valley needed support, I’d hop in my car and go and
fix their computer problems. A lot of the times I’d go to a clinic
on my way home from the office, and then only charge the company
mileage one way. It saved me a little commute time, and it saved
the company a little coin. Since I’m pretty much stationed at the
one clinic, I feel pretty safe about not having to use my car for
work stuff, and it’s ok to ride the train.

But, today brings up and interesting ‘moral dilemma’ as Dr. Laura
would say... Ok, it’s not anywhere as exciting or as interesting,
and it’s actually pretty trivial, but it’s something to write
about.

So right now I’m taking the train home (and of course I’m using my
extra 30 minutes of time to write the joke of the day). But I’m
not really going home; I’m actually working. About 30 minutes
before I was supposed to leave, a clinic called and needed a CD of
x-ray images delivered. Since the clinic is just a few blocks from
where I get off the train, I said I’d bring it down for them.



So, my trivial moral dilemma is; should I charge my company
mileage to deliver the CD or not. It is actually work, but on the
other hand, I’m not actually using gas, just electricity. But on
the other hand, it is ‘mileage’ that I’m traveling, and I did pay
a fare to ride the train. And then again on the other foot, it’s
only like $4 and no big deal, and the paperwork is a hassle. I
think to be on the safe (lazy?) side I’ll let it go. What do you
think? (Other than ‘what in the heck are you worrying about train
mileage for, there are tons more important issues to worry about
in this world!’)

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty


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Fans of '60s music, my 14-year-old daughter and her best friend
got front-row tickets to a Peter, Paul and Mary concert. When they
returned home, my daughter said, "During the show, we looked back
and saw hundreds of little lights swaying to the music. At first
we thought the people were holding up cigarette lighters. Then we
realized that the lights were the reflections off all the
eyeglasses in the audience."

[I heard another version saying that it was lit up, open cell
phones waving back and forth. Marty]

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"A strong 6.6 magnitude earthquake hit Hawaii yesterday morning.
Pretty scary. President Bush says he wants to do anything he can
to help them because he considers Hawaii to be one of our
strongest allies. Of course, FEMA was there immediately. Actually,
some FEMA had arrived a day earlier to assess the damage from the
Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor." --Jay Leno


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When my husband was a student at Tennessee Temple University, I
often asked him to do errands after class, tying ribbons on his
fingers to remind him. A good sport, he didn't protest, even
though his classmates obviously noticed my little reminders. One
day he had to have a mole removed from above his ear and emerged
from the doctor's office with his head wrapped in a white
bandage. When he walked into class, everyone just stared. Finally
one student blurted out, "Whatever your wife wants you to remember
today, it must be REALLY important."

10/24 - Stone Ground Corn Maize

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006
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Son #4 took a field trip today. Those kids get to go everywhere...
They take a field trip every single month. Today they went to the
same corn maze that our youth group went to last Tuesday. Hmm...
now, there seems to be limitless puns I could come up with about a
class from the school for the blind, going through a corn maze.
But I won’t tease. I’ll leave it up to your imagination.

Anyway, here’s something that might make you go hmm... I always
wondered how they make corn mazes. So I searched. It took me about
5 minutes to find out how on the internet. It wasn’t how I thought
they did it! Now, people have been wondering how they built
Stonehenge for centuries. Check out this video my #1 sister sent
me today. I think this guy might be on to something...



Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

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Sixteen years is a long time. That's how long ago the photo of my
husband -- looking slim and fit in his Marine Reserves uniform –
was taken. Today, he is about 100 pounds heavier, so it was
understandable when my friend's son asked who it was. "That's my
father," my daughter told him. Looking at my husband, then at the
photo, he asked, "Your first father?"

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Shortly after our wedding, my wife and I paid a visit to her
hometown, London. After the plane landed, Tania headed for the
British passport-holder's line, while I waited in the foreigners'
queue. "State the purpose of your trip," the customs officer said
to me. "Pleasure," I replied. "I'm on my honeymoon." The officer
looked first to one side of me, then the other. "Interesting," he
said as he stamped my passport. "Most men bring their wives with
them."
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A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at my sister's elementary
school. He talked to the children about his tribe and its
traditions, then shared with them this fun fact: "There are no
swear words in the Cherokee language." One boy raised his hand,
"But what if you're hammering a nail and accidentally smash your
thumb?" "That," the man answered, "is when we use your language."

10/23 - Burgers and Gatorade

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Monday, October 23, 2006
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I forgot to tell you what a good boy son #4 was in the hospital
last Thursday. We specifically told him that he was NPO, and
couldn’t have any food after 8PM, and no liquids after 7AM the
next morning. We had to make sure he didn’t have anything to eat
or drink because they had to put him to sleep for the Lumbar
Puncture procedure. When we got there, they sent us to the RTU
(Rapid Treatment Unit). It was kinda creepy, because they put us
in the exact same room that we were in last year, just as this
whole stupid brain tumor thing started. I think it was the room we
stayed in as they were checking his eyes for problems, just before
they sent us to the MRI where we found out. It wasn’t a pleasant
experience then, but I guess it wasn’t too bad last Thursday. It
was just creepy. Anyway, we stayed in the room until son #4’s
procedure was done, and they wheeled him into the recovery room.
In this part of the hospital, they make the kids wake up before
the parents go in. Sometimes the kids get a little wild as they
wake up. Anyway, they finally came out and said it was ok to go to
son #4 and see how he was doing. The nurse there was a little
frustrated with him and said, “He won’t drink anything for me.” We
asked why and she said, “He says his mom and dad won’t let him
drink anything. I told him it was ok now, but he won’t listen.”
After we told him it was ok, he drank two boxes of Gatorade.


(I had a HECK of a time finding a picture on the internet of a box
of Gatorade. Doesn't anyone else in the world carry these? Pretend the
Juicy Juice box has a Gatorade label on it...)

Then, on Saturday, it was son #1’s turn to spend time with dad.
Several days before I was poking around again in my Genealogy so I
asked son #1 if he wanted to go downtown to the Genealogy library
and look for a death certificate of my Grandfather that I didn’t
have. He said, “Sure” but the library didn’t have a copy. But, we
were looking thorough some marriage records, and I found the name
of the spouse of my Great Grandmother’s sister. Not too earth
shattering, but it was kinda cool and made the trip worth it. It
was about 2pm when we left the library, and son #1 said he was
really hungry. We went to a place just down the street called Crown
Burger. These guys are noted for their huge burgers piled high with
pastrami. After son #1 ate his ‘Crown Burger’ (and half of my fries too)
he said he was still hungry. I told him if he ran a mile, I’d buy him
another burger. He said, “Ok”... But, when I told him a mile was 8
blocks, and then asked where he was going to start, he backed down
and said he was full. I guess so; he slept in the car the whole
way home.


(Yes, an actual Crown Burger!)


Someone else eating at Crown Burger

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. I only had a Jr. Crown Burger! I Promise!

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"How come people want to take the God out of Easter but no one
wants to take the Satan out of Halloween?"
~Jay Leno

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A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15
kids... "WOW," the social worker exclaims, "are they ALL YOURS???"
"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard
that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy."
All the children rush to find seats. "Well," says the social
worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your
children's names." "This one's my oldest - he is Leroy."
"OK, and who's next?" "Well, this one he is Leroy, also." The
social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through
the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced
the eldest girl, named Leighroy! "All right," says the caseworker.
"I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy? Their Momma
replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get
them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when
it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes
a’runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the
street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the
smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy." The social
worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and
says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and
not the whole bunch?" "Then I call thems by their last names.

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It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old
Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family
returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy
asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he
walked by," his older brother explained. "Wouldn't you know it,"
the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up."

10/19 - Needles and Hurdles

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Thursday, October 19, 2006
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No wonder why son #4 hates the hospital. Usually they have the IV
team come in and start his IV. They did it in one try yesterday.
We kept it in yesterday, in hopes that it would work today. But
when my sweet wife tried to flush his line with heparin this
morning, he said it hurt. A lot! So, after the nurse checked, they
decided that the line wouldn’t work today. So, they brought the IV
team in again today, and it took them 4 times(!!) to stick him and
find a good vein. It was pretty stressful.

But, son #4 knew everything about putting in IVs. Yesterday after
they put his IV in, we spent about 20 minutes in his room, with
the child life specialist, putting in several IVs into Parker bear’s
arm. Even after the specialist and son #4 took the needle
out, and left the ‘straw’ in his arm, son #4 pumped Parker’s arm
with two full syringes full of water. His arm was dripping wet.
Then, after we got home yesterday, my sweet wife said son #4
pumped in another 3 or 4 syringes full of water into that poor
bear’s arm.

(When you read the issue I have linked above, don’t think my sweet
wife wasn’t going to cut off 8 inches of her beautiful red hair,
and then donate it to Locks of Love...
When we told son #4 last year that she was going to cut it, it drove
him almost to tears. He said, “I won’t be able to tell who you are
any more!” With his poor eye site, her red hair is something he
can pick out in a small crowd. There were several of us
(especially me) that were grateful that she had an excuse not to
cut it.)

We’ll find out later (tomorrow?) how the spinal fluid testing for
cancer cells went. One of the doctors went over (extensively) with
me, each picture of the MRI son #4 had done today. He didn’t see
even a chance of anything being a tumor, and of course, with my
extensive PACS administrator training (very few days) I knew
exactly what I was looking for. (not)

At the end of our visit, I asked about his CBCs (complete blood
count) from yesterday. The doc said that because of his radiation
they would expect some of his counts to be lower than normal. I
guess certain ones on his test where slightly elevated. He later
called us and said we needed to get another blood test for
precocious puberty. That occurs sometimes in pediatric brain
tumor patients who have had radiation. It has to do with the
hypothalamus and radiation. We knew that this might be a possibility
before making the decision to do radiation. And it can be treated
with meds. So, it’s not that big of a deal. Yet... They said we
could do his blood test Dec 4th when he has his bone reconstructive
surgery.

Another day, another small hurdle.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-
Reader comments

At St. Jude we usually get our MRI results right away, but it
never ceases to be a stressful thing, taking a look inside his
head. Of the four families we shared our kitchen with at Ronald
McDonald House during Steven's radiation, two of those kids, both
boys with brain tumors, died during the next year. The road is not
easy. I'm very happy to hear that Jimmy's scans look clear.
~Kathy
[Steven’s Mom]

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Don't panic, but there has been an alarming increase in the number
of things you know nothing about.
=-=-=-
My doctor told me there are now more than seventy million people
who are overweight. These are, of course, round figures.
=-=-=-
Did I tell you about the time Wisconsin held a contest to come up
with a new state slogan? One angry woman who was sick and tired of
all the tourists suggested, "Smell Our Dairy Air!"
~Ruby C.

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"Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie have settled their dispute. They
say that their two hearts combined make one. Their two brains also
combined to make one." --Jay Leno
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Smoky, our family cat, had gotten injured and needed to stay at
the vet clinic for several days. Our three children were so
concerned that several times a day, my wife and I had to reassure
them that Smoky was safe and being cared for by the "animal
doctor." Finally, we got the call that Smoky was ready to come
home. Driving to the vet's, it became clear that our four-year-old
son, Ryan, had been doing a lot of thinking about Smoky's absence
when he asked, "Mom, what kind of animal is the doctor?"

10/18 - I got some good news, and some bad news...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As my sweet wife and I walked into the hospital cafeteria this
morning, they were closed. It was after 10AM, and before 11AM. I
guess they do prep work for lunch during that hour. There was a
shop next door with cold sandwiches, so my sweet wife and I split
one for breakfast. Son #4 has to be NPO for his MRIs.
so we don’t eat breakfast in front of him, and wait
until he’s asleep to eat. Anyway, when we started our sandwich, I
said, “I hate this place.” She said, “What, the cafeteria?” “No,”
I said. “I hate this whole hospital thing.” “I know what you mean”
She said. I hate the whole process. I hate the IV team we have to
call, the “poke” son #4 has to get, the 2 hours waiting for them
to do the MRI and the waiting for him to wake up. The HIPAA game
they have to play. [I “jokingly” asked one of the techs if she saw
any big fat tumors on son #4’s scan. She curtly said, “I can’t
legally talk to you about your son’s MRI scan.” Yeah, I know. I
have to wait for our oncology appointment tomorrow.] I hate
waiting for the results. I hate having to ask for time off at
work, I hate that I’m so familiar with that hospital.

I saw Dr. H, who I will never, ever, ever forget. He was the doc
who was sitting at the computer on Saturday, August 13th, 2005.
I saw the tumor on the computer screen before he knew I walked into
the room. He introduced himself then said, “um, and we have a
problem”. Yeah, no doubt doc. I would hate to be the doctor who
had to break the news to parents that their kid had a brain tumor.
Anyway, Dr. H. was the radiologist this morning. I asked him if he
would check the scans to see if there was any tumor growing. He
said sure, and said, “Everything looks stable”. So, today we got
another round of clean scans. Tomorrow son #4 has an oncology
appointment, and a lumbar puncture. (To see if there is any cancer
cells in the spinal fluid.) They have to put him to sleep for that
too.

It’s so far so good. We get to sleep tonight. Maybe.

When I got home I read an email from one of son #4’s “forever
tumor friends”. Katie went through 6 weeks of radiation about the
same time son #4 did last year. We got to know her and her family
pretty good. (There’s a picture of the three tumor friends here;
Her email this afternoon had some bad news;

=-=-=-
Hello family and friends, We have a bit of bad new to share.
The beginning of this month we found out that Katie's tumor
has regrowth for the third time. It is in a different
location then the original site and from the last growth.
This time it is located at the back of the brain near the
cerebral cortex. Not in a place where we can operate with out
complications to Katie's way of life. The doctors recommend
Radiation Therapy again. However they do not see this as a
cure and are uncertain that they will be able to cure her.
They have told us that with radiation we can buy ourselves a
year with her. They are taking into consideration the quality
of life when planning these next steps of treatment.
We really do need to pray for a miracle. My family will be
holding a special fast this Sunday October 22nd 2006 for our
little Katie. We would like to invite you and those that
would like to join us in praying and fasting for two
consecutive meals on this coming Sunday. It is our practice
in our faith to contribute a fast offering to our church
for the price of those two meals that we would be spending if
we where eating. If you choose you may donate this moneys to
your church while you join us in fasting. Please do not send
it to us as it is the Lords. I sincerely appreciate you
support and your many prayers in our behalf and in behalf of
our little Katrina. I pray that you and your families will be
blessed as you participate with us. If you wish to send a
card please send it to [Email me for her post office and
email addresses –Marty] Thank you, Love the B..., Chris,
Kristy, Katie, and Gigi
=-=-=-

This hits really close to home. It’s a little hard to celebrate
that we get clean scans and can breath again for 3 or 4 months,
when son #4’s little friend isn’t as lucky.

Sometimes life is really hard.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments

Marty and family,
Prayers are with you today and tomorrow. Wish more could be
done from Ohio for you all. Marty, if the pic you had in your blog
spot was the maze you and the boys went through, good job getting
out. Wow. We have a local farm we like to use for going pumpkin
hunting, they take you out on a hay ride to get there, and you can
go through the corn field maze too, while out there, if you want.
With a little one, we haven't done it for a while, but he's 6 now,
and this may be the year he gets to do it... Anyway, hope today
went well for all, and that tomorrow does too.
Jen B., Morrow, Ohio

[Thanks Jen. No, I think that picture was actually was last year’s
field of another maze just down the street. But, the maze we went
to this year was the same size. It took almost an hour to walk
through it.]

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There was no way we were giving up the stray kitten who adopted
us. We called her Princess. When we took her to the animal
hospital to get her checked out, the vet had news: she was
actually a He. "So what's the new name going to be," he asked,
"The Cat Formerly Known as Princess?"

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I learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old boat,
a trailer and a motor from me. "Thanks," he said as he loaded them
up. "I'm planning to resell them." Good luck, I thought. I had
been trying to get rid of them for months. But when I ran into him
a few weeks later, he'd sold everything. "How did you manage
that?" I marveled. "I took out an ad: 'Heavy-duty boat trailer
with free boat.' When the buyer came to get it, I asked if he had
a motor. He said no. I told him I happened to have one in my
garage. Bought that, too."

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WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ
(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass ..... Check your answers below.

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats?
Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October
Revolution?
November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name?
Albert

8) What color is a purple finch?
Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange of course

~Wanda D.

10/17 - MRIs and Corn Field Stories

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eh... just as I thought. “Church Ball” the movie was not a very
good movie. I’ll give it a 1.5 out of 4 boys rating. Of course, I
wasn’t expecting much when we put it in, so I wasn’t ~that~
disappointed.

Tonight our church youth group got together for a combined
activity. We went to Thanksgiving point and went through a corn
maze. I started out with son #1 and #2 just randomly running
around willy nilly, but that got old pretty quick. I decided to go
straight through using the “following your hand on one wall”
theory. It got pretty dark and quiet in the back part of the
field, but I made it out just fine. So did everyone else.



On the way home another leader and I started talking about the
good old days. I told him about gleaning corn from the field for
the horses, how I attempted to bale hay, but was so allergic to
hay dust that I thankfully got out of that job! Then I told him
that for a couple of summers after I turned 12, my sister and I
worked for Pioneer Seed Corn Company detasseling corn for $1.25 an
hour. Ha... Now I can just see 99% of you are saying to
yourselves, “What in the world is detasseling corn?” Well, here’s
a good explanation;

Corn detasseling is the crucial last step in producing
hybrid corn seed. It involves removing the pollen-producing
top part of the plant, the tassel, so the corn can't
pollinate itself. Instead, pollen from another variety
of corn grown in the same field is carried by the wind,
pollinating the detasseled corn. The result is corn
that bears the genetic characteristics of both varieties
and can produce healthier crops with higher yields.
Despite technological advances in agriculture, detasseling
is still a task that for the most part is done by hand.

Here’s an article about detassling.

Detassling is was hard hard work. But it certainly taught me a
lot. I almost wish that there were more opportunities like that
around here so I could ‘encourage’ my kids to participate. Maybe
that’s why I’m such a willing participant in our Stake Farm
assignments.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. Tomorrow is Son #4’s big day. He has a hearing test, brain
MRI, full spine MRI, and a lumbar puncture. Then he has more tests
on Thursday. Keep us in your prayers tomorrow; it’s going to be a
long day.


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One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a
horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge. He
immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying
to act as if nothing had happened. The blacksmith noticed and
asked with a grin, "Kind of hot, wasn't it?" "Nope," answered the
cowboy through clenched teeth, "it just doesn't take me long to
look at a horseshoe."

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On my birthday I was cutting the lawn when my teenage son came
home from a baseball game. Seeing me behind the mower, he
exclaimed, "Oh, Dad, you shouldn't have to mow the lawn on your
birthday." Touched, I was about to turn the mower over to him when
he added, "You should wait until tomorrow!"

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I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps 'em on my knife
Anon.

=-=-=-

During our first three days at Lackland Air Force Base in San
Antonio, we were herded from place to place for haircuts, shots
and uniforms. Back in our barracks, the drill instructor told us
to put on our uniforms and fall out in front of the building. Some
of the uniforms, however, were extremely large. As we filed
outside, the sergeant stood by the door with his assistant. "We
have to take some of these people back for refitting," he said.
"That last man took two steps before his uniform moved."

10/16 - Rambling Thoughts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, October 16, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took the train again today and just before I got on, I called my
sweet wife and told her I was on my way home. As I was standing
there in the cold rain she asked, “Are you writing tonight’s JOTD
issue?” I said, “No, why?” She said, because you’ve now got an
extra 30 minutes every time you ride the train, you should be able
to do something good with your time. Hmm... thought I, so I do.
Today is my first attempt at writing on the train.

There is a very Old Italian man sitting next to me asking if I am
going to get on the internet with that ‘thing’. (With his accent,
I think that’s what he said anyway). I told him there wasn’t any
signal on the train, and he smiled. Now he’s talking Spanish with
my seat mates, and I’m not exactly sure what they’re saying. But,
they sure sound like they’re having a good time! Since I moved
from desktop support to being a PACS administrator at work, I have
to get a new cell phone. (Mostly because I have to give my other
one up to the new guy) Consequently, they’ve also changed the cell
phone policy; I have to buy my own service, and they will
reimburse me for a set amount each month. I’m going to add my
sweet wife on my plan, but son #1 has been asking to get a cell
phone for at least a year. And, at only $10 a month, I think we
may break down and get one for him. (to share with his brothers
too.) But, I’m not exactly sure if the benefits outweigh the
risks. They do have a pretty cool chaperone feature, where if the
cell phone goes out of a certain area, the service will call you
and tell you what time the phone went out of the area. But, I’m
sure that costs extra.

The weekend Scout campout and hike went pretty well. I thought
that I was going to have a tough time keeping up with just about
everyone, but most of the young 12 and 13 year old scouts, who
haven’t backpacked that much, and who love to play video games
sitting on their behinds at home, were having problems keeping up
with even me. (Of course, I only had to take a day pack.) So, the
hike up the mountain was actually, dare I say, actually enjoyable.
I brought the good ol’ reliable GPS unit with me, so we could see
how far and how high we had hiked. We left the parking lot of
Brighton ski resort at about 8650 feet, and ate lunch up on the
mountain at just under 10,000 feet. Funny, water boils a little
faster up on the mountain than it does down in the valley. But, we
still had good warm soup for lunch.

I asked the boys last night what they wanted to do for family
night tonight. They said they wanted to watch a movie. We haven’t
done a ‘fun’ family night for a little while, so I said that would
be ok. We’re going to watch one of those LDS comedy movies called,
“Church Ball”. I’m not sure it’s going to win an Oscar... ok, I
know it’s not going to win an Oscar, but it might be fun to watch
anyway. I’ll let you know tomorrow what I think of it.

Well, that was a pretty good use of my 30 minutes of train time.
This may not be a bad idea after all.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments

I would have to disagree with the answer to #3 (frost on the
windows). I have lived in Colorado and in Kentucky (2 states where
the frost is on different sides of the window (for the most
part)). I have noticed that the frost forms on the side that has
the highest humidity content.
Jason in Colorado

If you go to the web site www.letssaythanks.com you can pick out
a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a
soldier that is currently serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. You
can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the
armed services. It is FREE and it only takes a second. Wouldn't
it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?
~Justin’s Favorite Sister of all time ever and ever...

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[No Joke, and I even snopes’d this, and it’s true.]

I had a wonderful morning, the heating unit went out on my dryer!
Why does everything seem to fall apart this time of year!??? The
guy that fixes things went in to the dryer pulled out the lint
filter. It was clean. We always clean the lint from the filter
after every load of clothes. He told us that he wanted to show us
something. He took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over
it. Now, the lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure
you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. WELL.....the
hot water just sat on top of the mesh!!! It didn't go through it
at all!!! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh
that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film,
but it's there. This is also what causes dryer units to catch
fire potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best
way to keep your dryer working for a very long time & to keep your
electric bill lower is to take that filter out & wash it with hot
soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every
six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least
twice as long! How about that???!!!! Learn something new
everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So,
I thought I'd share!

NOTE: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on
it. The water ran thru a little bit but mostly collected all the
water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water & a
nylon brush & I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it
the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any puddle of
water at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK. NOT
ONLY COULD IT SAVE SOMEONE'S HOME, BUT IT COULD SAVE SOMEONE'S
LIFE.
~#1 Mom

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Growing up as a kid, I learned all about capitalism through the
board game Monopoly. I mean, what better way to teach a young mind
the way our economy functions. I loved this game and still do.
Only now, as an adult I have some questions that remain
unanswered. For instance, if I have all this money and own all
this real estate...why am I still driving around in a thimble?

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A group of tourists were watching the re-enactment of an ancient
Egyptian religious ritual. One turned to a nearby local, pointed
to the statue that was being praised and asked, "Pardon me, but
what was the name of that god supposed to be?" "Why do you ask?"
the man replied. The tourist shrugged. "Just idol curiosity, I
guess."

10/11 - Not a happy Deer Hunt Camper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes I just can think of anything to write. I think it’s
called Joke of the Day syndrome. I know others call it something
else, but I can’t think of what it’s called. It’s like I have
something blocking me from thinking what it’s called.

Anyway, it’s the fall 4 day long UEA weekend for the kids. (Or
better known as the Deer hunt weekend) But, for those of us who
don’t hunt Bambie (at least not every year) it’s just a long
weekend. So, tonight I decided to check the boys’ grades on the
internet. Son #2’s grades are back up to where he will be
ungrounded from his computer and TV on Sunday. But, when I looked
at son #1’s grades, he had “didn’t have time to finish” and turn
in 3 assignments in a row in Spanish. Those 3 assignments brought
his grade down 2 full levels, and straight into the ‘no computer
zone’. When I told him, he was not a happy camper. I said, “Sorry,
we’ve had that same level of grade requirements for 3 years now.”
That just made him even madder. He stormed off to his room and
slammed the door. And he was so looking forward to playing video
games with Brother-in-law #4 who is coming home from college for
the weekend.

Oh well, someone’s gotta keep the rules, right?

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s.
This is something we all need to know.
http://home.valornet.com/sabruf2/countchr.html
~Dan A.



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[I got 3 of 4 of these. How about you?]

Careful now, they are so blatantly obvious that you will be
kicking yourself if you miss the clue !!!

Question 1 :
A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately
called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and
got these alibis: The wife said she was sleeping. The cook was
cooking breakfast. The gardener was picking vegetables. The maid
was getting the mail. The butler was cleaning the closet. The
police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did
they know?

**************************

Question 2 :
A man walks into a his bathroom and shoots himself right between
the eyes using a real gun with real bullets. He walks out alive,
with no blood anywhere. And no, he didn't miss and he wasn't
Superman or any other caped crusader. How did he do this?


**************************

Question 3 :
Old Mr. Tidy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend. Mr. Fiend
recounted his dismal discovery to the police. "I was walking by
Mr. Tidy`s house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit. I
noticed his study light was on and I decided to peek in from the
outside to see if he was in there. There was frost on the window,
so I had to wipe it away to see inside. That is when I saw his
body. So I kicked in the front door to confirm my suspicions of
foul play. I called the police immediately afterward." The officer
immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr. Tidy. How did
he know Mr. Fiend was lying?


************************

Question 4 :
If you touch me, you will die, but you can only live without me. I
am a big part of your life, and will eventually be the only thing
left. You will learn to embrace me finally and rest. What am I?

***********************

Try to figure these questions before looking at the answers at the
very bottom below
~Wanda D..

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"My parents told me, 'Finish your dinner. People in China and
India are starving.' I tell my daughters, 'Finish your homework.
People in India and China are starving for your job.'"
~Thomas Friedman

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"Well, Ted, you're certainly coming up in the world. What's the
idea of playing golf with not one, but two caddies!" "Oh, it was
my wife's idea." "Your wife?" "Yeah," answers Ted, "She thought I
should spend more time with the kids."

=-=-=-

ANSWERS:
1. It was the maid. She said she was getting the mail. There is no
mail on Sunday!
2. He shot his reflection in the bathroom mirror.
3. Frost forms on the inside of the window, not the outside. So
Mr. Fiend could not have wiped it off to discover Mr. Tidy`s body.
4. Death.

10/10 - Blue Doors

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had an interesting lesson on Monday for family night. On Sunday
afternoon I took a glass of water and put blue food coloring in
it. I put a celery stalk in it, and brought it out for family
night on Monday night. We talked about environment, and how a bad
environment could affect you, even if you weren’t aware of it.
Anyway, son #3 thought the blue celery leaves were the coolest
thing in the world. He wanted to eat them during the lesson. I
told him not to eat them during the lesson, but he kept sneaking
the leaves. When son #2 saw this, he kept yelling at son #3 to
stop eating the leaves (so I could hear him too...) These boys
fight over the stupidest thing... Anyway, it was in interesting
lesson.

Then, tonight, my sweet wife went to an art meeting and came home
a little late. I had just put son #4 to bed. His window is right
next to the garage and when he saw her pull up, he opened his
windows. “Hi mom!” “Hi, what ya doing?” “Oh, just going to sleep.
Come in and tuck me in!” She replied, “But I won’t fit through the
window!” “Mom... You have to go down there and go through the
door.” “Oh, ok, I guess I could do it that way.” “Where did you go
tonight?” “Oh, just to a meeting about painting.” “Ok” She turned
and walked towards the door. “Hey! Where are you going?” She
turned to him and said, “To the door.” He looked confused for a
second and said, “Oh, yeah...”

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

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A college student was delivering pizza to a regular customer's
house in New York. The guy who answered the door asked him, "What
is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first
trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you,
I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted the man. "Well, just
to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." "Thanks!"
replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund." "What are
you studying?" asked the man. The lad smiled and said: "Applied
psychology."

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

I spent several years as a submariner, and while at sea we would
have a celebration halfway through a patrol. On one such night,
the captain, who was serving dinner to the crew, tried to put some
vegetables on a recruit's plate. The young seaman wouldn't take
them. "With all due respect, sir," the recruit said, "I don't eat
them for my mother, and she outranks you."
--Contributed to "Humor In Uniform"
~Wanda D.

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Hi, Marty –
All the best to you, your sweet wife and the boys... I think this
is a valuable tool. It came to me through the monthly Encourager
newsletter distributed by Michael Thomas. Best wishes for a good
weekend and better train rides in the future. Whichever way you
decide to commute, you will now have a comparison and can be grateful
that you are not dealing with the problems of the other one.
Blessings,
~Susan R.
___________________________________________________________

BE SAFE. CHECK YOUR ADDRESS.
This may be disturbing..
It is www.familywatchdog.us
When you visit this site you can enter your address and a map will
Pop up with your house as the small icon of a house and red, blue,
Green, dots surrounding your entire neighborhood. When you click
on These dots a picture of a person will appear with an address
and the Description of the crime he or she had committed. The
best thing is that you can show your children pictures and see How
close these people live to your home or school. This site was
Developed by John Walsh from Americas Most Wanted. Another tool to
help Us keep our kids safe.


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http://martysjotd.blogspot.com/

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10/9 - Mmm Mmm Good!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, October 09, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took a couple of nights off last week from the JOTD... just
‘cause...

Anyway, we had a great weekend. My sweet wife and I went to see
‘Fly Boys’ on Friday night. It was a pretty good movie. Then on
Sunday when we got home from church, I was feeling like I wanted
to cook dinner. I told my sweet wife I was going to cook dinner,
and she didn’t question me at all but just said “thanks”.

I took a chicken breast, cut it into smaller pieces, and cooked
some white rice, vegetables, and a white sauce. For the chicken, I
used celery salt, Worcestershire sauce, and some pepper. It was
actually pretty easy. Then I decided to make it look a little
fancy. I took out a platter; put the rice on it, the chicken
pieces on top of that, the vegetables around the outside, and the
white sauce all over the top. I put a little pepper on the top for
color, and it looked great. We had some apple sauce and other
stuff, and it was a great Sunday dinner. I sat it down in front of
the boys and said, “Mmm... boy that looks good!” The boys said it
looked and tasted wonderful. (I didn’t think the food was all that
good. I thought it tasted just a little better than ‘fair’, but
everyone else loved it.) The best compliment I got was from son #3
who said, “Dad, this is so fancy, can we get the candles out and
turn off the lights?” I guess I’ll have to take over the kitchen a
little more often.

Train update; I’ve taken the train to work a few more times since
my last issue, and haven’t had any serious issues. It’s saved me a
few bucks each day, so I think I’ll keep at it...

The doctors finally emailed us back and said that waiting a few
extra weeks shouldn’t be a problem with son #4’s bone
deterioration. We have him scheduled for surgery on December 4th.
We’ll keep our fingers crossed for another clean scan on October
18th.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

=-=-=-
Reader Comments;
Hi Marty, Would you like to trade my hearing since I have been in
deafness my whole life? Why not being pretend as deaf person to
ride in the train? I understand how you felt about in driving in
heavily traffic slowdowns. It is much worse in large cities. I
never forget when I got off from my job back in 1990. It was
rainning afternoon that I got off about 2:30 PM and it took me
five hours to get home... ...At this present at Seattle there are
much crazy drivers on those highways. I am glad that I am not
driving at this present. I let my spouse to do the driving.
Sincerely, Lynn C. a Deaf fan

[Thanks for your comments Lynn. 5 hours is a long commute!]

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A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he
overheard the four-year-old tell the three-year-old, "If you
pretend you're asleep, he stops."

=-=-=-

An American couple visiting a German village stepped into a small
shop to look for souvenirs. The woman sneezed. "Gezundheit!" said
the clerk "Charles," said the American woman to her husband,
"we're in luck. There's somebody here who speaks English."


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Every time I go
to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm
going crazy." "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said
the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be
able to get rid of those fears." "How much do you charge?" "Eighty
dollars per visit," replied the doctor. "I'll sleep on it," said
Bubba. Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why
didn't you ever come to see about those fears you were having?"
asked the psychiatrist. "Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a
week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for
$10. I was so happy to have saved all that money I went and bought
me a new pickup with a big gun rack over the seat!" "Is that so!
And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" "He told me to cut
the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!!"

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:

2 gallons of milk,
a carton of eggs,
a carton of orange juice,
a head of lettuce,
a medium can of coffee, and
a pound of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out,
a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in
front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her
purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The
woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the drunk's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing
particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped
off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better
of her, she said "Well, you know what? You're absolutely correct.
But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause
you're ugly."

10/3 - Train Delays and Bloody Noses

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yesterday, I found my driving to work for the 7 millionth time
in my life. It seemed that everyone was driving like an idiot, I
had to fill up the tank, there was nothing on the radio but
commercials, and I got ticked off at a guy who wouldn’t let me
merge at the construction zone. In short, I was getting really
tired of the daily commute. After getting ticked off, I decided to
go into a self-imposed driving restriction. I figured the Trax
train might be the way to go. I have to drive about 10 blocks to
the station, and I get off at a stop that’s a block away from the
clinic.

If I drive, it’s about 18 miles one way, I get almost 20 miles a
gallon, and gas is still at $2.50 a gallon. So I figured I could
save almost $2 a day by taking the train. But, if today is any
indication of what riding Trax is going to be like, It might not
be worth it.

I sat near the back of the train on the way to work. There were
these two, um, well, really rough looking guys who got on, and had
never met each other before. They started to talk rather loudly
about their drug usage, how many times they had been thrown in
jail, how one of them lost his 8 week old child to child
protective services because of meath usage. I just sat there
playing a game on my (just got it yesterday from eBay) palm. Then
they started talking about the ills of society, and who to blame
all of their problems on. They talked about why this group was to
blame, or that group, or any group they could think of to blame
their sorrows in life on. At one point they louder and in my
direction and blamed their problems on the ‘Fat, White, Mormon,
Males’ of the world, and proceeded to give several (rather poor)
examples of how their troubles were cause by us. I think they were
trying to egg me into the conversation, and they almost did. But
then I remembered a talk given in conference Sunday by David
Bednar, talking about how people take offense too easily, and it
isn’t good. So I just played my palm and didn’t even look up. It’s
a good thing; the things I was contemplating on saying probably
would have left me with a bloody nose, or worse, by the time I got
off of the train.



Then, on the commute home, there was a crash on our track in front
of the train, and we had to sit there for 15 minutes while they
cleared the other track for us to use. Then, after we got to the
transfer station, the train was doubly crowded, with no seats,
because the crash had caused a huge backup. So, I had to stand up
most of the way home.

So, bottom line; I saved $2. But I’m not sure it was worth it.
We’ll see if I venture out again this week.

Here are a couple of train jokes for today...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

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Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a
group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor
came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the
back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and
called "Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under
the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it
was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The
Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity.
On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this
themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that,
oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway,
again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled
into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then
one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and
called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door,
he grabbed it up and quickly closed his door.


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>

In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed
into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track.
Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to
court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the
driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for
nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how
he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was
dismissed. “Congratulations,” the lawyer said to the engineer when
it was over. “You did superbly under cross-examination.” “Thanks,”
he said, “but he sure had me worried.” “How's that?” the lawyer
asked. “I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!”

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A man is at Grand Central Station waiting for his train that
leaves at 6 p.m., but he has forgotten his watch. So he looks for
someone to ask the time. He spots a guy carrying two suitcases and
sporting this fabulous hi-tech watch, so he asks him for the time.
The guy replies "Sure, which country?" The fella asks, "How many
countries have you got?" to which the man replies, "All the
countries in the world!" "Wow! That's a pretty cool watch you've
got there." "That's nothing," the man says. "This watch also has a
GPS facility, fax, e-mail and can even receive NTSC television
channels and display them on its miniature active color pixel LCD
screen!" "Boy, that's incredible. I wish I had a watch like that
one. You wouldn't consider selling it by any chance?" "Well,
actually the novelty has worn off for me, so for $900, if you want
it, it's yours." The watchless traveler can hardly whip out his
checkbook fast enough to hand over a check for $900. The seller
takes off the watch and gives it to him. "Congratulations, here is
you new hi-tech watch." Then, handing the two suitcases over as
well, he says, "And here are the batteries."

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10/2 - Awesome CT Scan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, October 02, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had a nice weekend. We watched conference, and I attempted to
clean my computer room and desk off (with little success). Then,
Rather then looking up son #4’s images on the computer at home, I
went through the proper channels, signed release forms, went to
the hospital, showed ID etc and got 5 CDs worth of radiography
images. We’re most interested in his last CT scans that show why
the soft spots in his head seem to be getting bigger. The brain
surgeon wants to wait until after his MRI on the 18th of this
month, in case there’s any sign of tumor. But the plastic surgeon
said we should do it sooner. I sent an email to both of them
Sunday night asking questions, but no answer as of yet. We want to
make sure that he’ll be recovered for a little vacation we have
planned in November, or if it will be ok to wait for a few weeks.

I spent another day in Radiology training today. I’m learning a
little bit each day, but there’s going to be a large learning
curve. I saw a ton of x-rays today, but one of the coolest was son
#4’s from the CDs I got from the hospital. (You can see it on the
blog site.) It shows exactly what’s going on with his bone plate,
and what needs to be done. My sweet wife did a little photo
shopping on it to enhance the view. It’s a pretty graphic picture,
but on the other hand, its about the coolest picture I’ve ever
seen.

Anyway, check out the picture on the web site, and when we find
something out about a date, we’ll let you know.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty



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A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis
to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate
jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The
second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third
worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm
was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of
the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first
worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead. Fourth worm in good clean
soil - Alive. So the Minister asked the congregation - What can
you learn from this demonstration? Maxine was setting in the back,
quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and
eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

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I was examining cantaloupes at the grocery store and turned to the
produce clerk, who was refilling the bins. "Choosing a cantaloupe
is like picking a mate for marriage," I observed casually. "A
person has no idea what he's getting until it's too late." "I
know," he replied. "I've had three cantaloupes."

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My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first
time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern,
he discovered the chosen area was too small. He stacked the blocks
against the house and cleared more space. The next day Ray put the
cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard
to keep the patio level. He ordered a truckload of sand to be
delivered the following morning. Again he stacked the 100 blocks
against the house. Observing all this, our 'nosey' next-door
neighbor asked, "Hey! Ray, are you going to put that patio away
'EVERY' night?"