Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

10/11 - Not a happy Deer Hunt Camper

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Sometimes I just can think of anything to write. I think it’s
called Joke of the Day syndrome. I know others call it something
else, but I can’t think of what it’s called. It’s like I have
something blocking me from thinking what it’s called.

Anyway, it’s the fall 4 day long UEA weekend for the kids. (Or
better known as the Deer hunt weekend) But, for those of us who
don’t hunt Bambie (at least not every year) it’s just a long
weekend. So, tonight I decided to check the boys’ grades on the
internet. Son #2’s grades are back up to where he will be
ungrounded from his computer and TV on Sunday. But, when I looked
at son #1’s grades, he had “didn’t have time to finish” and turn
in 3 assignments in a row in Spanish. Those 3 assignments brought
his grade down 2 full levels, and straight into the ‘no computer
zone’. When I told him, he was not a happy camper. I said, “Sorry,
we’ve had that same level of grade requirements for 3 years now.”
That just made him even madder. He stormed off to his room and
slammed the door. And he was so looking forward to playing video
games with Brother-in-law #4 who is coming home from college for
the weekend.

Oh well, someone’s gotta keep the rules, right?

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

This is something we all need to know.
~Dan A.


[I got 3 of 4 of these. How about you?]

Careful now, they are so blatantly obvious that you will be
kicking yourself if you miss the clue !!!

Question 1 :
A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately
called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and
got these alibis: The wife said she was sleeping. The cook was
cooking breakfast. The gardener was picking vegetables. The maid
was getting the mail. The butler was cleaning the closet. The
police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did
they know?


Question 2 :
A man walks into a his bathroom and shoots himself right between
the eyes using a real gun with real bullets. He walks out alive,
with no blood anywhere. And no, he didn't miss and he wasn't
Superman or any other caped crusader. How did he do this?


Question 3 :
Old Mr. Tidy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend. Mr. Fiend
recounted his dismal discovery to the police. "I was walking by
Mr. Tidy`s house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit. I
noticed his study light was on and I decided to peek in from the
outside to see if he was in there. There was frost on the window,
so I had to wipe it away to see inside. That is when I saw his
body. So I kicked in the front door to confirm my suspicions of
foul play. I called the police immediately afterward." The officer
immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr. Tidy. How did
he know Mr. Fiend was lying?


Question 4 :
If you touch me, you will die, but you can only live without me. I
am a big part of your life, and will eventually be the only thing
left. You will learn to embrace me finally and rest. What am I?


Try to figure these questions before looking at the answers at the
very bottom below
~Wanda D..


"My parents told me, 'Finish your dinner. People in China and
India are starving.' I tell my daughters, 'Finish your homework.
People in India and China are starving for your job.'"
~Thomas Friedman


"Well, Ted, you're certainly coming up in the world. What's the
idea of playing golf with not one, but two caddies!" "Oh, it was
my wife's idea." "Your wife?" "Yeah," answers Ted, "She thought I
should spend more time with the kids."


1. It was the maid. She said she was getting the mail. There is no
mail on Sunday!
2. He shot his reflection in the bathroom mirror.
3. Frost forms on the inside of the window, not the outside. So
Mr. Fiend could not have wiped it off to discover Mr. Tidy`s body.
4. Death.


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