Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, October 23, 2006

10/23 - Burgers and Gatorade

Monday, October 23, 2006

I forgot to tell you what a good boy son #4 was in the hospital
last Thursday. We specifically told him that he was NPO, and
couldn’t have any food after 8PM, and no liquids after 7AM the
next morning. We had to make sure he didn’t have anything to eat
or drink because they had to put him to sleep for the Lumbar
Puncture procedure. When we got there, they sent us to the RTU
(Rapid Treatment Unit). It was kinda creepy, because they put us
in the exact same room that we were in last year, just as this
whole stupid brain tumor thing started. I think it was the room we
stayed in as they were checking his eyes for problems, just before
they sent us to the MRI where we found out. It wasn’t a pleasant
experience then, but I guess it wasn’t too bad last Thursday. It
was just creepy. Anyway, we stayed in the room until son #4’s
procedure was done, and they wheeled him into the recovery room.
In this part of the hospital, they make the kids wake up before
the parents go in. Sometimes the kids get a little wild as they
wake up. Anyway, they finally came out and said it was ok to go to
son #4 and see how he was doing. The nurse there was a little
frustrated with him and said, “He won’t drink anything for me.” We
asked why and she said, “He says his mom and dad won’t let him
drink anything. I told him it was ok now, but he won’t listen.”
After we told him it was ok, he drank two boxes of Gatorade.

(I had a HECK of a time finding a picture on the internet of a box
of Gatorade. Doesn't anyone else in the world carry these? Pretend the
Juicy Juice box has a Gatorade label on it...)

Then, on Saturday, it was son #1’s turn to spend time with dad.
Several days before I was poking around again in my Genealogy so I
asked son #1 if he wanted to go downtown to the Genealogy library
and look for a death certificate of my Grandfather that I didn’t
have. He said, “Sure” but the library didn’t have a copy. But, we
were looking thorough some marriage records, and I found the name
of the spouse of my Great Grandmother’s sister. Not too earth
shattering, but it was kinda cool and made the trip worth it. It
was about 2pm when we left the library, and son #1 said he was
really hungry. We went to a place just down the street called Crown
. These guys are noted for their huge burgers piled high with
pastrami. After son #1 ate his ‘Crown Burger’ (and half of my fries too)
he said he was still hungry. I told him if he ran a mile, I’d buy him
another burger. He said, “Ok”... But, when I told him a mile was 8
blocks, and then asked where he was going to start, he backed down
and said he was full. I guess so; he slept in the car the whole
way home.

(Yes, an actual Crown Burger!)

Someone else eating at Crown Burger

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

p.s. I only had a Jr. Crown Burger! I Promise!

"How come people want to take the God out of Easter but no one
wants to take the Satan out of Halloween?"
~Jay Leno


A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15
kids... "WOW," the social worker exclaims, "are they ALL YOURS???"
"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard
that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy."
All the children rush to find seats. "Well," says the social
worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your
children's names." "This one's my oldest - he is Leroy."
"OK, and who's next?" "Well, this one he is Leroy, also." The
social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through
the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced
the eldest girl, named Leighroy! "All right," says the caseworker.
"I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy? Their Momma
replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get
them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when
it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes
a’runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the
street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the
smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy." The social
worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and
says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and
not the whole bunch?" "Then I call thems by their last names.


It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old
Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family
returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy
asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he
walked by," his older brother explained. "Wouldn't you know it,"
the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up."


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