5/28 - Memorial Day Fun!

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Monday, May 28, 2007
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Happy Memorial Day! I thought I’d do a quick post this morning.
Our weekend has been pretty eventful so far. We all went to
Thoroughly Modern Millie on Friday. At first son #4 didn’t want to
go. The only thing he’s ever heard about Hale Centre Theater
(where the play was) was the accident where a stage hand got
caught in the moving stage. Before we went, son #4 kept asking if
anyone else was going to get hurt when the stage moved. When we
got there, he acted like he didn’t want to be there at all. But
about 5 minutes into the show when the stage moved for the first
time, his eyes got big and he said, “That was cool mom!” He loved
the show and stood on his chair and clapped at the end. All 4 boys
loved the play and kept asking when we were going again. Hmm...
‘Culture’ is cool, unfortunately it takes $$ to take 6 of us out.

Anyway, our next foray for the weekend was Pirates of the
Caribbean III - At Worlds End. It was a movie and prizes event
were a company also invited Make-a-Wish families. (Son #4 refused
to go because he got scared at the first Pirates movie, so we took
a cousin). Anyway, I won a hat and gave it to son #4 when we got
home. The movie wasn’t that impressive. The action scenes were
cool, the music was great, and Keith Richards from The Rolling
Stones, fit the roll of Jack’s father pretty close. One glaring
problem with the movie was the story line. It was SO hard to keep
track of who’s doing what to whom and why. It was like channel
surfing. I kept asking myself, “Why did they just do that?” and “I
don’t understand why so and so is now fighting so and so when they
were just making a deal 10 minutes ago.” Another problem
throughout this series is the dialogue is still hard to follow.
It’s hard enough to catch what they’re saying in real life, but
combine heavy accents with an octopus makeup and no lips, and
things go downhill from there.

Bottom line, I give it a 2 out of 4 boys rating. I’d wait for it
to come to your local dollar theater...

At Church on Sunday son #4 kept asking to get home quickly. He had
a treat ahead of him. Last week I put my dad’s MG on craigslist
and on a couple of other places on the internet. I got tons of
calls, and a lot of people looking at it. A guy who lives just a
couple miles south of us came and bought it on Friday, but son #4
was not too happy with me for selling it. We took a few last
pictures of him in it. (Here he’s protecting the MG with a squirt
gun from the evil MG buyer.)



Anyway, son #4 started to cry when the guy came to pick it up. It
was pretty heart wrenching. But, the guy was really cool and said,
“Son #4, tell you what. How about I bring by another cool car on
Sunday and take you for a drive?” Son #4 with a frown on his face,
a big lower lip, and still looking at the ground, nodded yes. Ever
since the guy drove the MG away, son #4 kept asking when the guy
with the cool car would come back and give him a ride.

So, Sunday afternoon rolled around and son #4 was really excited.
He kept asking me to call the guy and ask when he would be here. I
didn’t want to appear too anxious, but I finally caved in. A
couple hours later he drove up in this really sweet 1954 Corvette
convertible. Son #4 said, “Wow!” He got a good 15 minute ride, but
I knew what was coming next. The poor guy had to haul all 4 boys
around the neighborhood too. But he was a good sport and said it
wasn’t a problem. And, it turns out, he and my boys may be
related.

His parents were from Star Valley Wyoming, and part of the Olsen
family. (As in Merlin Olsen of the NFL, and Little House on the
Prairie fame.) My sweet mother-in-law’s aunt was an Olsen from
Star Valley. Well, it’s a little convoluted, but that’s what I get
when I know my genealogy.





Speaking of convoluted, have you ever heard of “The Six Degrees of
Kevin Bacon”? It was a popular 90’s game where you try to link
actors or actresses with Kevin Bacon. It is said that everyone in
Hollywood is within 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon. Here’s an example;
Take a not very well known actress in Soap Operas name Ellen
Wheeler. (ok, she’s at least not well known to me...)

Ellen Wheeler was in Without Evidence (1995) with W. Earl Brown
W. Earl Brown was in Sugar & Spice (2001) with Rachel Blanchard
Rachel Blanchard was in Where the Truth Lies (2005) with Kevin Bacon

So Ellen would be 3 degrees from Kevin bacon. Then I got to
thinking. And yes, I am now famous. I am only 4 degrees from Kevin
Bacon! Here’s how.

Marty is related to son #4 by birth.
Son #4 is Merlin Olsen’s 1st cousin, twice removed. (true)
Merlin Olsen was in Mitchell (1975) with Joe Don Baker
Joe Don Baker was in Criminal Law (1988) with Kevin Bacon

I just have too much time on my hands... But, I couldn’t go
camping this weekend, could I?? Ok, enough dumb stuff, I gotta get
ready for the baseball game today!

Enjoy Today’s Jokes!
Marty

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Finally! Episode 8 of Chad Vader.
You can see the Chad Vader Series starting with this issue...



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A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of
the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination
room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older
doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and she told her
story. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where
the young doctor was writing on his clipboard. "What's the matter
with you?" the older doctor demanded "Mrs. Reid is 62 years old,
has four grown children and seven grandchildren. And you told her
she was pregnant?" The younger doctor continued writing and
without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

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Before I could visit my daughter at her naval base in Japan, I was
told I needed to supply her with some important information to
give to security. The list included the following: passport
number, height, weight, year of birth and anticipated hair color
at time of arrival.

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On his way home from work recently, my husband came upon a 'Road
Closed' sign. Undeterred, he maneuvered his truck around it and
continued on. But he didn't get very far. The pavement ended,
giving way to another, larger sign: "What Part of 'Road Closed'
Didn't You Understand?"

3/28 - Quiet Scouts?

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007
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Ok, 90% of the time I drive alone. Mostly to work or school. So, I
don’t often get to drive with a bunch of people, except when the
family is going somewhere, or sometimes on Scout nights. Tonight
was a Scout night. We went downtown to see some national historic
buildings for the Citizen in the Nation Merit Badge.

There were only 2 leaders tonight and 10 boys. Can you imagine how
loud 5 12 and 13 year old boys can be in a car? I was dreading the
loud drive downtown, but I remembered a gift that Santa brought
my boys last Christmas. A portable DVD player. When son #2 and I
got ready to go, I grabbed it and brought it along.

I think a portable DVD player is the best investment that Santa
ever made! I had the SPL in the front seat, and we had a half way
serious conversation. In the rear view mirror there were 8 eyes
glued to Time Bandits on the back of my seat. It was wonderful!

Enjoy Today’s Jokes!
Marty

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Reader Comments

Marty,
The blonde video is hilarious! I laughed my face off! Have a
great day!
~Lani L.

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News and Headlines section


Mysterious hexagon spotted above Saturn

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Illegal immigrants allowed at least five strikes
Border-crossings guidelines revealed amid probe into U.S. attorney firings

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Marines ban big, garish tattoos

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Today’s Video
Eddie Griffin crashes a 1.5 million dollar Ferrari Enzo


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Kid Wisdom

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't
answer.

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.

Stay away from prunes.

Don't pull your dad's finger when he tells you to.

Never leave your three-year-old brother in the same room as
your school assignment.

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when
she's on the phone.
~Debi S

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Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go
wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here
are some:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin
to itch.
--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't. --Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible
corner.
--Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
--Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
--Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.
--Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be
solved by brute strength and ignorance.
--William's Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.
2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Machines should work. People should think.
--IBM's Pollyanna Principle:

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the
place where they can do the least damage - management.
--The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
--Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you
are in a hurry.
--Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat
tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
--Cannon's Comment

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IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?

Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.

Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?

Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different
prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What's the difference in the paint?

Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.

Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.

Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.

Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.

Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?

Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3
weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday
of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.

Customer: You've got to be kidding!

Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.

Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!

Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell
only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by

the way, the price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any
more $12 paint.

Customer: The price went up as we were talking?

Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times
a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with
your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase
your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want?

Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have
enough.

Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't
use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint
you already have.

Customer: WHAT?

Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall
and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the
bedroom, you will lose your remaining gallons of paint.

Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I
already paid you for it!

Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is
used, every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of
problems.

Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if
I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!

Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the
$200 paint.

Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a quart"
signs?

Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in
half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second
half-gallon to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have
labels, some are empty and there are no refunds, even on the empty
cans.

Customer: The heck with this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!

Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for
your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from
someone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall
and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir, that
if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon.

Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!

Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which
you started. A hallway is different.

Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in
one direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.

Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference
on your next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it now,
sir.

Customer: You're insane!

Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.
~Uncle Butter