1/28 - Goldie Locks and the 3 little wolves

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Monday, January 28, 2008
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The other night my sweet wife was sick, and wanted me to tuck the boys into bed. We have a deal with son #4, that if he gets to bed before his bedtime, then we’ll read him a story. That night he did. I told him I’d either read him a short story, or tell him one of three stories; The 3 little pigs, little red riding hood, or the 3 Billy goats gruff.

He thought for a moment and said, “Dad, I want a new story. Why don’t you tell me the one about the 3 little wolves, and the big fat pig.” Every once in awhile, a dad has to pull something out of his hat, and I came through with flying colors. I said something about, “I’ll oink and I’ll oink and I sit on your house bad...”

Not anything like the Grimm brothers, but close enough.


The Brothers Grimm


We’re still battling the stupid raccoons in the attic. I called the county, and they were out of traps, so I finally caved and bought my own $51 trap. They say the best thing to do is to put a twinkie in there, with some vanilla flavoring to attract them. Then son #3 wanted to know why the raccoons got twinkies, and all of the boys didn’t. So, I had to promise that I’d give them a twinkie when we got the coon. He also asked what we were going to do with the raccoon when we got it. “You’re not going to kill it are you?” He seemed genuinely concerned. I told him that we’d call animal control and they would come pick it up. “But,” I said, “We could tan it and make a coonskin cap if you wanted...” His eyes got really big, “REALLY!?”

I guess it’s just how you present it.

Enjoy the Jokes
Marty

p.s. Good bye President Hinckley, we’ll miss you!

Here’s one of my favorite quotes from him;
"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." ~~President Gordon B Hinckley, prophet and president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

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Reader comments;
Oh, man! I hear ya, brother! We have a KFC buffet in a
neighborhood where I used to live. I had to move from
that neighborhood just to save myself! All that bad
food, and lots of it! All the extra crispy you want,
WITH the noodles and dumplings and sweet potatoes,
for one price? Get behind me, Satan!

-- Jeff G., Pottsburgh
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Just a few weeks after taking a job as a security guard, my
husband announced that he had been fired. He explained that
he'd fallen asleep at this desk and someone broke into the
building.

"But you're such a light sleeper," I said. "I'm surprised the
sound of the guy breaking in didn't wake you up."

"I didn't get fired for falling asleep," he confessed, "I was
fired for wearing my earplugs."


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"I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud,
but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without
doing any productive work or contributing anything to society,
my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --Dave Barry


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I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one
of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and
monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000
worth of life insurance. But he had one last question.

"Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?"