2/6- Nucleotides, Carboxyls, emergent properties and DNA, Oh My!

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007
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Ok, I guess I was worried about the wrong thing last night. Today
we went to the Utah State Tax commission to plead our case to the
tax judge and the tax commission lady. We told them our sob story,
and after 10 minutes of that they said, “Oh, gee, we moved over to
a new computer system last year, and lost most of your records. We
don’t show that you own anything. As a matter of fact, we owe you
a refund.” We’ll I’ll be dipped. When’s the last time you heard a
whopper like that?

Then, on the other hand; My Biology test tonight was a tough one.
At least I can say that I’ll get some sleep tonight. But now I’ll
have to wait for Thursday for my results. I just have to get a ‘C’
to get paid back from my employer. That’s it. I’ll just shoot for
the average. Hmm...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty



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My husband is always complaining about my inability to stay on a
budget and about the costs of running the house in general. This
has become worse since we have had the twins. Everything is
double, clothes, food, pediatrician bills. Lately, he has even
been complaining about the amount of baby powder I have been using
on the twins to prevent them from getting diaper rashes. I've had
to remind him that... talc is cheap.

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I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this
question to the students: Why do people choose to have their
children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate? After
students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand.
"This may be a bit off the point," he said, "but when I was
little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they
would put me into a drawer."

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*New Mormon Themed Restaurant Chain - Get your franchise before
they are all gone!*
This is a sparkling new idea for a chain of non-pretentious Utah
restaurants. The name of these restaurants: "The Steak Center"
(Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meat-ing!).

Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with
basketball hoops at either end, and folding metal chairs and long
tables covered in plastic tablecloths.
The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters, (men in
their 70's will meet you at the door and talk like they have known
you all your life.)The main menu items will be: the Porterhouse Rockwell
Steak, the Primary Rib, and the Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef, garnished
with Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes.

We will also have, when it's in season, Eliza R. Snow crab. And
let's not forget a whole line of "And It Came to Pasta", including
Kraft Moroni and Cheese.

Additionally, we'll have breakfast items, including Pearls of
Great Rice and Frosted Minivans, as well as Adam-ondi-Omelettes.
The house drink is "Tab N Apple Juice."Also available, "In Our Lovely
Desserts", including Fast Sundaes,
Gadianton Cobbler and the sinful Laman Meringue Pie and Lemuel ice
cream.The waiters will be 12 and 13 year-old boys wearing white shirts
and their fathers' ties.At the end of the night the customers will be asked to
help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.
Franchises are selling fast...Get yours while they last!!!
~Wanda D.

2/5 - Happy Tax day to you...

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Monday, February 05, 2007
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I’ve got a big test tomorrow. Not only in Biology, but at the
state tax commission. After 13 months of letters and pleadings
with the IRS, they finally took pity on my dad’s estate, and took
off a lot of penalties for the 5 years of taxes he didn’t pay
before he died. Yes, it was a huge mess. So, the IRS is done, but
now we have to plead our case to the state tax commission. There’s
a big hearing tomorrow. Ok, our tax guy says it’s just a
formality, but maybe I ought to wear a tie...

Anyway, with that and my first biology test tomorrow, that makes
for a big day ‘eh?

Oh, and happy birthday dad...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. And how was your super bowl? I loved the first play of the
game, and gave up by half time. I’m sure the Bears’ quarterback
will do better next year, once he gets out of high school. What,
is he 17? He sure looks like it.

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Reader Comment Section;

Marty..
Why not let your mom write the funnies for awhile? We all
understand how busy life gets and yours definately is full right
now. She could tell us about you growing up, etc... plus she could
keep us informed about the family too.. Jokes are easy to find and
send out.. OR Drop it down to Mon, Weds, Fri and let different
people write up a column and send it to you and bingo.. you have
that nights edition?
~Debi D.

[hmm... very intriguing. I did forward your email to my #1 mom,
but, no reply yet. Maybe she’s cook’n up something.]

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David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car
privileges. One night she returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to her the
newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 am the
girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her,
“Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?” “Not too late,
Dad.” she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, “Then
precious one, I’ll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my
paper under the front tire of the car.”
~Jeremiah G.

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"Just 24 hours after golfer John Daly said he had a gambling
problem, Charles Barkley revealed he lost $10 million in Las
Vegas. And that was just at the buffet table."
~Jay Leno

"If you enjoy your alcohol, remember this: If you put your old,
rotten liver under your pillow, the Beer Fairy will leave you a
keg."
~Paul Tomkins

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A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In
going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to
hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a
crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the
family dog, which leaped up, howling and barking. The woman's
three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud
screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally
managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in
time to hear her husband's voice on the other end say, "Nobody's
said hello yet, but it certainly sounds as if I have the right
number."