Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

2/6- Nucleotides, Carboxyls, emergent properties and DNA, Oh My!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Ok, I guess I was worried about the wrong thing last night. Today
we went to the Utah State Tax commission to plead our case to the
tax judge and the tax commission lady. We told them our sob story,
and after 10 minutes of that they said, “Oh, gee, we moved over to
a new computer system last year, and lost most of your records. We
don’t show that you own anything. As a matter of fact, we owe you
a refund.” We’ll I’ll be dipped. When’s the last time you heard a
whopper like that?

Then, on the other hand; My Biology test tonight was a tough one.
At least I can say that I’ll get some sleep tonight. But now I’ll
have to wait for Thursday for my results. I just have to get a ‘C’
to get paid back from my employer. That’s it. I’ll just shoot for
the average. Hmm...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


My husband is always complaining about my inability to stay on a
budget and about the costs of running the house in general. This
has become worse since we have had the twins. Everything is
double, clothes, food, pediatrician bills. Lately, he has even
been complaining about the amount of baby powder I have been using
on the twins to prevent them from getting diaper rashes. I've had
to remind him that... talc is cheap.


I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this
question to the students: Why do people choose to have their
children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate? After
students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand.
"This may be a bit off the point," he said, "but when I was
little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they
would put me into a drawer."


*New Mormon Themed Restaurant Chain - Get your franchise before
they are all gone!*
This is a sparkling new idea for a chain of non-pretentious Utah
restaurants. The name of these restaurants: "The Steak Center"
(Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meat-ing!).

Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with
basketball hoops at either end, and folding metal chairs and long
tables covered in plastic tablecloths.
The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters, (men in
their 70's will meet you at the door and talk like they have known
you all your life.)The main menu items will be: the Porterhouse Rockwell
Steak, the Primary Rib, and the Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef, garnished
with Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes.

We will also have, when it's in season, Eliza R. Snow crab. And
let's not forget a whole line of "And It Came to Pasta", including
Kraft Moroni and Cheese.

Additionally, we'll have breakfast items, including Pearls of
Great Rice and Frosted Minivans, as well as Adam-ondi-Omelettes.
The house drink is "Tab N Apple Juice."Also available, "In Our Lovely
Desserts", including Fast Sundaes,
Gadianton Cobbler and the sinful Laman Meringue Pie and Lemuel ice
cream.The waiters will be 12 and 13 year-old boys wearing white shirts
and their fathers' ties.At the end of the night the customers will be asked to
help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.
Franchises are selling fast...Get yours while they last!!!
~Wanda D.

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