Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, June 11, 2007

6/11 - Kiki, Krap, and PMS

Monday, June 11, 2007

It’s been a busy week! Sons #3 and #4 went to week long Camp
. (Fun summer camp for kids with cancer and their siblings.)
Last year son #4 just went to day camp, but this year we decided to
let him go to week long camp. It was quite an experience to see how
my sweet wife and son #4 spent time apart. I could tell they both
missed each other a lot, but neither of them would admit it.

Last year for his birthday, son #3 got a parakeet that we named
Sky. She’s a really pretty bird that’s light blue and white. Well,
son #3 has been saving up money and wanted a larger cage and
another bird. There’s this place on the internet called FreeCycle,
where people offer ‘stuff’ that they don’t want. (Books, Bikes,
moving boxes, anything you can think of) and other people ‘ask’
for things that they need. The idea is to keep junk that other
people want, out of our landfills.

Well, since son #3 has done pretty well with his birds, I thought
it might be a good idea to give FreeCycle a try. So I asked if
anyone had a larger cage that they didn’t want. Bingo! A guy in
Tooele (about an hour away) had 2 birds and a cage. His wife was
allergic to the birds so he needed to get rid of them. It also
happened to be about 5 miles from where the boys went to Camp
Hobe. So, on the way to pick up the boys last Friday, we picked up
a couple of birds and a cage to go with. All 3 birds are doing

Pom-Pom is a male that is light blue and white, like Sky. Kiki is
a green and yellow parakeet, who the former owner didn’t think
would last too long. He’s got tumor bumps showing on his body and
beak. (Is that something you tell your 6 year old with a history
of a brain tumor, that his brother’s new bird is going to die of a
tumor. We’ll just deal with that one later. So far so good...)

Anyway, Kiki loves to get out of the cage, fly around for a
second, and land on your shoulder. He’s pretty good about going
back in the cage when you put your finger out for him too. Since
my sweet wife and I are on a crash course to learn the penny
for the trek, we’re always practicing. The other day my
sweet wife was sitting in the living room playing. Kiki got out
and flew to her shoulder. She thought it was pretty cool, so she
finished her practicing, and then put her finger up so the bird
would hop on and go back into the cage. We haven’t figured out the
reason why, but all of a sudden, Kiki crapped all over her
shoulder. I’m not sure if it was a comment on the fact that she
stopped playing, he didn’t like the why she played, or that he
just didn’t want to go into the cage. But, I don’t think I’ll
practice with a bird on my shoulder!

Enjoy Today’s Jokes!

p.s. I hate the time after I realize that son #4 has another MRI
coming up, and before it’s over. It’s the crazy jittery time where
you just start to wonder, what if... So, a week from Tuesday
(the 19th) son #4 will have another MRI. A friend on the Pediatric
Brain Tumor email list calls it PMS. (Pre-MRI Syndrome). Ahh...
I’ve got it again...

Also, I was going through some x-ray exam notes the other day, and
came across some guys brain scan that mentioned his ependyma. It
caught my eye because son #4 had an ependymoma. I looked it up,
and it’s the lining over the brain under the skull. Then I got to
thinking, one of my kids was born “In Caul”, or being what they
call a “Caulbearer.” These are supposed to be some pretty special
kids. (some say 1 in 80,000 births) And, wouldn’t you know it,
it’s son #4. I knew there was something special about that boy.


How embarrasssing

How embarrasssing

I hate construction!


Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a
half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have
six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half
dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my
head and ordered six McNuggets


I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I
picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up
the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could
scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think
I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things
and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
~#1 Mom


A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal-Mart in
a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say,
"And here's something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute
little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a
bewildered shopper who'd heard all this finally asked, "Why do you
keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I
sent my daughter to Virginia Tech and this is what she came home


Jim was a just out of boot camp, and was on his first ship. About
two hours out of port, he began to get a bit ill from the motion
of the ship. He approached an ensign, also just out of training
and on his first cruise. He saluted and said, "Excuse me sir, I am
feeling seasick, and I wondered if I may have permission to go
downstairs to the dispensary." The ensign returned his salute and
replied, "Sailor, you are in the Navy now. You don't go downstairs, you go below! There is no dispensary on this ship,
there is sickbay. Not only that, that is not the floor, it is a
deck, that is not the ceiling, it is the overhead, that is not a
pillar, it is a stanchion, that is not a water fountain, it is a
scuttlebutt. If I ever hear you using civilian words instead of
Naval jargon, I till throw you out of that little round window
over there."

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