Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, May 21, 2007

5/21 - Messy Chocolate Sauce

Monday, May 21, 2007

Last week we went over to our neighbor’s home to practice the
penny whistle for the trek. This neighbor is one of the sweetest,
hardest working, and organized women I know. After our practice
she asked if we wanted any home made chocolate sauce on ice cream.
(Well duh...) it was the best I’d ever had, so I asked her for the
recipe. (See the P.P.S. below). Then I made some on Friday night
for the boys. Saturday my sweet wife and I were out, and our
neighbor said that he stopped son #4 on the street that day. “How
come your shirt is so dirty, what did you have for lunch?” Son #4
replied, “I think burritos and cottage cheese.” The neighbor
replied, “Well, what’s all over your shirt?” Son #4 looked down at
his shirt and suddenly remembered, “Oh, that was my after
breakfast dessert, chocolate sauce!”

Then tonight for family night, we went to a concert of son #3’s
and then out to dinner. During dinner son #4 needed to use the
facilities. He asked me what the peanut shaped things in the
urinal were, and I said they were things that made the bathroom
smell fresher. When he was done and started to wash his hands, he
got really wild with the water and soaked himself and his shirt.
He ran back to the table before I could get him dried off any

“What happened to him?” my sweet wife said.

“He got a little wild with the...” and then I was cut off...

“Mom! There are these cool things in the bathroom that when you
pee all over them, they smell good!”

My sweet wife looked at a soaking wet boy and then at me for an

I just smiled.

Enjoy Today’s Jokes!

p.s. Here are the answers to last weeks quiz.

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it
at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will
be the same word.


Chocolate sauce recipe

2 cubes butter (1 cup) – [Ok, I didn’t say it was low cal, did I?]
3 cups sugar
½ cup cocoa
1 12-oz. can of evaporated milk
1-2 teaspoons vanilla

Melt first four ingredients together in a heavy pan. (It will
about double in size when boiling so get a bigger pot then you
need. Ask me about my clean up...) Stir with a wire whip. Boil a
total of one minutes only, stirring constantly. Remove from heat.
Add vanilla. (Sauce will thicken after being cooled.) Store any
leftovers in refrigerator. Makes 1 quart.

Here is something to do with your chocolate sauce besides eat

Amazing Juggling Finale by Chris Bliss


In most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any
stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drop to single
digits or below. About 3 AM on very cold morning, Montana State
Trooper, Allan Nixon #658, responded to a call there was a car off
the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located
the car, stuck in deep snow and with the engine still running.
Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the
trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed
out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat
beside him. The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on the
window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror, and the
state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He
jerked the gear-shift into "drive" and hit the gas. The car's
speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 MPH, but it was still
stuck in the snow, wheels spinning. Trooper Nixon, having a sense
of humor, began running in place next to the speeding (but
stationary) car. The driver was totally freaked, thinking the
trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about
30 seconds, then the trooper yelled, "PULL OVER!" The man nodded,
turning his wheel and stopped the engine. Needless to day the man
from North Dakota was arrested and is probably still shaking his
head over the state trooper from Montana who could run 50 miles
per hour. Who says troopers don't have a sense of humor?

~Jan D.


You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is
a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the
same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the
same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a
helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the
helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must
you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get
off the children's "Merry-Go-Round", you're drunk.


My husband and I found a charming bed-and-breakfast nestled in the
White Mountains of New Hampshire. Though enchanted, I nonetheless
had some questions about the accommodations. "Does the room have
its own bath?" I asked. Nodding, the proprietor answered, "If no
one else comes, it does."

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