Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, June 04, 2007

6/4 - What's IKEA mean anyway?

Monday, June 04, 2007

So, for date night last Friday my sweet wife and I decided to see
what all the huba-balou was about with the new Ikea store that had
opened up a week or so ago. It’s a huge 2 story building, and the
shopping experience was a bit different than any I’ve seen. When
you walk in the front door, there is one, and only one, way to go.
There are arrows on the floor for you to follow, and if you want
to see something, you have to step out of the crowded line to see
it. It reminded me of a tour in a fancy house with the velvet
ropes. “Follow me this way” and off you go with the group. I’m not
saying it was all bad, just quiet a bit different than going to
Home Depot to get a light bulb and then to the other side of the
store to get some nuts and bolts. They did have some surprising
low prices on some things.

After we grabbed some batteries and a storage container from the
main floor, we ended up at the checkout stand. We wanted to see
what the upstairs had to offer. “Excuse me, what’s the best way to
get to the 2nd floor?” I asked a guy in a yellow shirt. “Do you
have merchandise?” he replied, looking at my batteries and
container. “Yeah...” I said. He said, “Remember when you first
came in, there are some stairs and an elevator you can use.” So,
we had to travel through the whole main floor, with hundreds of
people coming the opposite way, to get to the 2nd floor.

Not such a great layout I’d say.

Sure, we could have paid for half of our purchases and re-entered
the store, but then I wouldn’t have anything to write about now
would I?

Enjoy Today’s Jokes!


A couple of cool IKEA comercials


"Homeland Security expects to have a new warning system in place
by the end of the year that will warn you of a national emergency
on your cell phone. They will call you if we are under attack or
there's a tornado or there's a hurricane. Of course the important
question for most Americans -- 'Does that use up our minutes?'"
~Jay Leno

A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where
a policeman is standing. "Officer," he asks, have you seen a man
run by here in the last few minutes?" "No I haven't. What's the
problem?" "The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!"
"Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?" the officer
asks. "Well, yes," the barber replies. "He's carrying one of his
ears in his left hand."


I telephoned the veterinarian's office to ask when I should take
my three month old kitten in to be vaccinated for rabies. After a
few initial questions, the woman who answered the telephone asked,
"What is the kitten's name?"

"Demon", I replied.

"Demon? That's an odd name," she said.

"Maybe, but it's appropriate anyway."

I heard clicking of a computer keyboard, then she said, "Our records
show that you have cats named Gato [which is Spanish for
'male cat'], Scamp, Stinky, and now you named one Demon. Is that

"Yes, it is."

"You really don't like cats, do you?"

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  • At 11:02 AM, Blogger Kathy said…

    Our kids even like IKEA because of the cafeteria, their Swedish meatballs are really good and reasonably priced.

    We bought a computer desk with keyboard tray there for $17.

    When they opened the IKEA in San Diego, the store was packed for months, we waited 6 months before venturing out there. The kids were little then and we could leave them in the free daycare area with all the toys.

    If you missed the meatballs, its worth a return trip...


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