Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

8/22 - 3 dumb things

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Ok, here is a bit of self deprecating humor;

I did something dumb. Last Friday the Scouts went on an overnight
campout. I got off work a little early and the Scouts headed into
the mountains. We had a nice little camp site, and as boys always
do, they burned an inordinate amount of firewood.

The next day I was cleaning the tent and packing stuff in the van.
I emptied the tent, picked it up and shook out the dirt. (It’s the
two man dome tent we won selling Scout-o-Rama tickets two years

Anyway, I took out the tent poles, lay in nicely on the ground,
and rolled it up. I stuffed it in the bag, and headed over to put
it in ‘the tank’ . As I reached for the handle, I got a good
reflection in the window of my beautiful morning-after-campout
face. Man, I thought... “You need a shave and look at that hair.
It’s truly campout hair. And you also need... wait, where are your
glasses Marty? They aren’t on your head... Oh NO! They’re still in
the tent!!” I had put them on the string at the very top of the
tent the night before, and forgot them. As I unrolled the tent and
pulled them out, it was like they were rolled up around a
football. Not broken, but badly bent. I spent the next 10 minutes
getting them to look like they had hours before. They’ll survive.

Now, contrast that with tonight’s stupid move. The family was
scheduled to go camping at Cherry Hill tonight, and then go to
their swimming park tomorrow. (This is from the amusement park
pass we got from Give Kids the World in Florida.) I had my sweet
wife call to see if they had showers and flush toilets at the
campground. She found out that today was the last summer weekday
that they are open. They’re closed (except for weekends) for the
season. So, no camping and no day off of work tomorrow. Bummer.

And one last dumb move; with no camping and swimming to go to
tomorrow, we decided to go to the stake farm and help out, then go
and see ‘Over the Hedge’ at the dollar theater. Since we came
straight from the stake farm, we didn’t have time to make popcorn
for the movie. So, I decided to splurge and got the big popcorn
and two large drinks for all of us. The total came to $12.50 So, I
handed the cashier a twenty and 3 singles, for a total of $23.
(You see where this is going don’t you?) She grabbed the money,
looked at it, and snidely said while handing me back $3, “It’s
only $12.50. Here.” I said, “Why don’t you take the $3 and give me
$10.50 back in change. She looked at the $3 and said, “oh.” And
then gave me my $10.50 in change. (I thought about being mean and
taking the $3, setting it on the counter, getting my $7.50 back,
then handing her the five and 5 ones, and then asking for a ten
dollar bill, but the movie was starting and I was late. I guess
they don’t hire the sharpest knives in the block to work at the
dollar theater.

Ok, so of the 3 dumb things that were done, which were the
‘dumbest’ of them all? [He said realizing he had a 67% change of
being honored with the dumbest thing award.]

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

p.s. There are only a couple of days left before the ducky derby
on Saturday. Be sure to support the Make-a-Wish foundation of Utah
by buying a ducky and your chance to win a car! See;
http://www.acteva.com/booking.cfm?bevaid=109558 Tell them it’s for
son #4 at martysjotd.blogspot.com

Good luck!

Reader Comment sections

Lesson learned:
When you made this statement "Anyway, I get sick on rides. Not
just sick, really sick" I knew I had to speak up! You are NOT

It's been years since I've been to an amusement park, and the last
time I went, I got sick on one ride..it flipped sideways around
while going around, if that makes sense. I got reallllly sick.
Now the roller coaster going upsidedown didn't bother me or
anything else..but that one did. So jump to present day, being
56yrs.old.. I go to the County Fair, taking Dramamine with me, in
my pocket. WE take in the exhibits, the Demolition Derby and
then..oh yeah..then right before leaving, I decide that we should
ride a couple rides. The first was iffy, it was where you stand
and the pad behind you takes you up and down the wall, gravity
holds you there, while it spins fast. I feel pretty decent when
I get off that one and see one where all it does is go round and
round, pretty fast.. now that's allllllll very innocent, right?
And that's all there was to it.. except it does go forward then
reverse.. So we get on it and then it strikes.. Oh yeah..........
debi gets SICK.....reallllllll sick...... could have hurled, which
someone promptly did, and of course that got all over our
legs........and oh boy, did I almost lost it then for sure. But I
kept it in..and was sooooooo sick, came directly home and went to
bed. I was sick for over 2 hrs, before it relented. Do you think
I'll take Dramamine the next time.........OH YEAH, Lesson
learned.. this ole gal is not as young as she used to be!!!!
~debi s.~


A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a
mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was
involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently,
learning all she could. When time for the practical exam
approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the
exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, she was
surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%. Fearing an
error, she called the instructor, saying 'I don't want to appear
ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if
there had been an error which needed adjusting.' The instructor
said, 'During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,
which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back
together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I
gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the
~Krystal B.


A pastor of a two-church parish near Austin, Texas had to drive
every Sunday morning about 4 miles from the 9:30 service at one
church to the 11 o'clock at the other. He would often find the
parking lot of the second church full, and be forced to park down
the road and race to the church on foot. The problem was finally
solved when he selected a parking spot near the side door of the
church and posted a sign that read, "You Park – You Preach."


A young Texas couple came into the church office to fill out a
pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never
talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried
to put him at ease. When they came to the question, "Are you
entering this marriage of your own free will?" there was a long
pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man
and said, "Put down yes."
~Ruby C.


Verified by snopes at

This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the
information, except the one piece they want. Note; the callers do
not ask for your card number; they already have it. This
information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA &
MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'


Be prepared to protect yourself.

One of our employees was called on Wednesday from "VISA", and
another was called on Thursday from "MasterCard". The scam works
like this: Person calling says, "This is (name), and I'm calling
from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is
12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern,
and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which
was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-
Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in

When you say "No", the caller continues with, "Then we will be
issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been
watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the
$500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next
statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is
that correct?"

You say "yes". The caller continues - "I will be starting a Fraud
investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1-
800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask
for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The
caller then gives you a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read it

Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then
says, "I need to verify you are in possession of your card".
He/She will ask you to "turn your card over and look for some

There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the
next 3 are the security numbers that verify you are the possessor
of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make
Internet purchases to prove you have the card.

The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you
tell the caller the 3 numbers he/she will say, "That is correct, I
just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen,
and that you still have your card. Do you have any other
questions?" After you say No, the caller then thanks you and
states, "Don't hesitate to call back if you do", and hangs up.

You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you
the Card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called
back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The
REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the
last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.
Long story short - we made a real fraud report and closed the
VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers
want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't
give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master
card directly for verification of their conversation.

The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on
the card as they already know the information since they issued
the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you
think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get
your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make,
and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to
actually file a fraud report. What makes this more remarkable is
that on Thursday, I got a call from a "Jason Richardson of
MasterCard" with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This
time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report,
as instructed by VISA The police said they are taking
several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell
everybody we know that this scam is happening. Please pass this on
to all your family and friends. By informing each other, we
protect each other.
~#1 Mom


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