Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

8/1 - I swear!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Wow, is it August already? Where did the summer go? I heard on the
radio that in Georgia, kids are already starting school. I also
hear that in Utah, with the graduated driver license, kids can get
their learner’s permit at 15, instead of 15 and a half.

So, tonight I reminded son #1 that he had just 6 months to get his
Eagle Scout. He wasn’t too happy, but let’s see if that motivates
him or not.

Reader Kathy writes about yesterday’s “crab vs. crap” language;
>I think the real question here is where did your wife think that
son #4 might have learned such a word?

Oh, I know where he learned it... He has 3 older brothers! He even
let loose with that one while we were coming back from his make a
wish trip.

It’s been a challenge to get my boys not to say that word. It’s
been a problem for a long long time.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a boy who will test the waters as much
as son #4 does when it comes to swearing. Especially at his age.
Last night my sweet wife said, “Son #4 learned a new word.” And
without pause, and with a sincere innocent tone he said, “Yeah
dad, I heard ‘damn it’ on one of son #1’s video games, so I said
‘damn it’ to mom. But she got mad and told me those were bad
words, so I don’t say ‘damn it’ anymore.”

(Son #1 slunk down in his chair, rolled his eyes and said, “Ok,
I’ll take that game out too, and won’t play it...)

Arrgg... I have washed son #4’s mouth out with soap before (just
like my #1 mom used to do with me) when he cussed, and I told him
that if I ever heard him say that again, I would wash his mouth
out with soap again.

But, it was a little hard to say it with a straight face with 3
boys and a sweet wife giggling in the background.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment sections

I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean twice, when it first came out
(the midnight showing) and again later with my friend. I loved
it! And I guess they were hard to understand, especially that one
lady who lived upriver and gave Jack the jar of dirt, but she did
say, in the end, that there was a way to save Jack. It had
something to do with sailing to the end of the earth and she then
said the group would need a captain who "already knew those
waters" and that's when captain Balbosa (who died in the first
movie) appeared. So that's how they are going to save Jack and
that's why the movie is "ripe for a sequel" which is coming out
next year on memorial day (so i heard).
huge fan of Orlando Bloom

In the end (after about ten minutes of waiting through the
credits), all it shows is te cannibal people ( the ones who almost
eat Jack) crowning the dog their king.
Megan, again


I should have known that trouble was brewing at our auto company
when my supervisor posted this urgent memo: "We have not succeeded
in solving all your problems," it read. "The solutions we have
found only serve to raise a whole new set of problems. In some
ways we feel we are as confused as ever, but we believe we are
confused on a higher level and about more important things."


For the Department of Lowered Expectations: During a road trip I
stopped in a small town to grab a bite to eat. I walked into a
local pizza place and the first thing I noticed was a sign on the
wall advising: "Price. Quality. Service. Pick Any Two."


Billy Crystal wants everyone to know there is a huge difference
between a class clown and a comedian. "The class clown was the guy
at graduation who walked out to get his diploma, would hike up his
gown, moon his parents and run off the stage," he told Time
magazine. Crystal, on the other hand, was a comedian. "I was the
guy who talked him into doing it."


"The French have launched their own version of Google, called
Quaero. You just type in the subject you're interested in, and
Quaero refuses to look it up for you."


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