Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

8/8 - Biker Babes

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

It got a little late last night when we got home. We were at my
mom’s house were playing games for family night. My sweet wife, my
mom and I all played a card game I got for my birthday called
Phase 10. Of course I won, so being late didn’t matter as much.
Until we got home and it was too late to write an issue. But, I
think only my friend the “Harry Potter Lady” at work noticed. No
one else bothered to comment. So, I think I’m safe.

I have a friend who lives just the other side of Justin’s parents.
As a matter of fact, I went to high school with him, lo those many
many years ago. And he’s one of the nicest guys I know. Anyway,
he’s one of those ‘must have’ friends that make life so much
easier. (Make sure you have to have a computer guy friend too!)
Anyway, Jeff’s an auto mechanic. He and his family have literally
been fixing my cars since before I graduated high school.

Anyway, son #4 loves to go over and ask Jeff what he’s working on.
When he moves his boats or cars or anything else, son #4 runs over
and asks to help. Jeff really likes son #4 too. He lets him do
‘stuff’ for him, like move little things, get tools, etc. They
also have great conversations.

A few weeks ago Jeff showed me that he had bought his first motor
cycle. He’s been to Sturgis South Dakota for the last couple of
years and planned on going this year. But this was the first year
that he had a motor cycle, and I could tell he was excited.

This weekend he was loading it on a trailer son #4 ran up and
said, “What’cha doing Jeff?”
“Oh, I’m load’n up my motor cycle and heading to Sturgis.”
“Wow, that sounds fun. Can I go?”
“Sure. You can go and we’ll have lots of fun. But, you gotta ask
your dad first.”
Son #4’s eyes went from pure excitement to complete dejected
disappointment. He hung he shoulders, dropped his head down, put a
big frown on his face, “Oh, never mind...” and walked off.

I guess he knew his dad had heard of the 5-year-old tot-biker-
babes and figured I wouldn’t let him go.

Wise choice.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Hey, you might have missed it, but the same hospital that son #4 was in with his tumor last year, separated conjoined twins last night. It was the first operation where the twins shared a kidney.

More here;
“Twins tucked into separate beds for first time - First of kind
reconstructive surgery completed on 4-year-old Utah girls”


I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the
computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and
solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear
stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that
. in case I need to fix it again?" Harold grinned.... "Haven't
you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down. I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold

[We actually use that one sometimes, but never in front of
customers. I also sometimes use the ol’ Chair-keyboard-interface


Just a few weeks after taking a job as a security guard, my
husband announced that he had been fired. He explained that he'd
fallen asleep at this desk and someone broke into the building.
"But you're such a light sleeper," I said. "I'm surprised the
sound of the guy breaking in didn't wake you up." "I didn't get
fired for falling asleep," he confessed, "I was fired for wearing
my earplugs.


A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and
said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept
walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in
the car with me and I'll give you two lollypops." She kept her
eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get
in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!"
Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the
Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"


Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:
"Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the
fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He
eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:
"Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
Caution... They Walk Among Us!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want
the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun
rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises
in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said,
"Oh, I don't keep u p with that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One
day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call
center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24
hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or
Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh,
Pacific" . .
They Walk Among Us!!!


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down
in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because
the car was moving". .
They Walk Amoung Us!!!!


My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut
through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the
They Walk Among Us!!!!!


My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases
were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!


I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose
ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't
the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained
that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went
to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags
never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she
was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she
asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!


While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small
pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he
would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for
some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't
think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!

~submitted by my #1 mom


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