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Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

8/10 - New Blog for Sale

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Thursday, August 10, 2006
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“Dija see the post-it note on the house as you came in?” My sweet
wife said to me after I got home from (stupid) traffic school.
“No, where was it?” I said.
“I took it off” said son #3.
“What’s going on?” I replied.

Apparently son #4 wanted to sell the house because our sidewalk
turned to go to the driveway, instead of going straight out to the
street. He also didn’t like the fact that our doorbell is out of
order. Son #3 had a different view. He kinda likes the house we
live in, and thought that if there was a for sale ‘sign’ on the
house, someone would drive by and buy it, and then we wouldn’t
have a place to live. Of course, a huge argument ensued between
them.

*sigh* My boys will fight over just about anything...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. Oh yeah... and it seems we have a little competition over at
Marty’s Joke of the Day. My sweet wife sheepishly told me a week
or so ago that she has been doing her own blog for the past couple
of months. She said she’ll put it on a ‘real’ blog site when she
gets good. I happen to think she’s good now, tell me what you
think. (But she does like a good cliff hanger!) Check it out at
by starting here.


A Mother's Perspective

p.p.s. Hey, it's our 350th issue here at martysjotd.blogspot.com,
and, we hit our 22,222 visitor today!

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Jim Kevin, a good friend of mine just returned from traveling
around the USA for a year. He had a lot of stories to tell, but
this was my favorite. It seems he was looking for a bank and
stopped to ask directions. The man he asked replied "Just drive
down this road about 5 miles and then turn left at the Stop n
Go." He drove 5 miles, then 6, then 7. At about 10 miles down he
stopped for directions again. The man he asked replied, "Just go
back down this road about 5 miles and turn right at the Stop n
Go" He headed out again but still had no luck. When he got back
to where he had started he stopped again. When he asked for
directions the answer was exactly the same. This time Jim asked,
"Could you describe the Stop n Go for me?" The man gave him a
funny look and slowly said "It's on a pole. It's got a red light
on the top, a Green light on the bottom...."

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My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever
happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV and
threw out all of my beer!

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Did I read that sign correctly?


TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE
DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT
BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY
CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE
BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE
BELL DOESN'T WORK)
~Kenley B.

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