Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

8/15 - Bad Blind Horse!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Not much going on tonight. Except; my sweet wife was cleaning the
kitchen when I got home from Boy Scouts tonight. When I went to my
room to put my Scout shirt away, I got a bit of a surprise.

First, you all know that son #4 is “legally” blind. Well,
“legally” is actually just a degree of blindness. Being totally
blind is, well, pretty self explanatory. Legally blind is 20/200
or worse. Son #4 is totally blind in one eye, but he’s got 20/200
in the other. And, he can get around pretty good. But, when he
tries to get a good look at pictures, words on a paper, or play a
hand-held video game, he puts things about 2 inches from his good
eye to see them well enough.

In our bedroom, we have a 13” color TV on a wall mount bracket. If
he stands on the edge of the bed, he can get within a foot or so
of the screen. When he’s really interested in a show, he stands
there and watches it that way.

When I walked in tonight, he was watching the Discovery Channel.
Safe, right? Not always. I looked up and saw that it was an
episode of “Dirty Jobs”. This guy goes around the country and
shows people what actual dirty jobs people do. He cleans out sewer
machinery, some gross farm jobs, works with Hippo keepers, etc. It
can be pretty interesting, but, tonight I guess he was at a horse
barn. When I looked up at the TV they were helping a stud horse do
what stud horses do. Part of the screen was blurred out. Gag...
Not something I want my blind 5 year old to watch.

“What are you watching!?” I said.
“Dirty Jobs dad...”
As I turned off the TV I said, “Um, not something you should be
watching tonight I think.”
“Ok” and he ran off to play with his planes.

Sheez, I got enough worries with keeping tumors out of his head,
much less dealing with things like this. Wow, do you have to watch
your kids every single solitary micro second of their life? And,
for as little TV as my boys watch, I thought the Discovery Channel
might be ok. They could have put a TV-14 show on a little later
than 8PM. *sigh*

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment sections

I'm an RCA for the post office... part time rural mail carrier.
When I got to work one day, there was a box on my desk, much like
you described for your Dad's remains. It takes you by surprise
to realize that you have some one's remains and while I wasn't
freaked out, it was a really different sort of experience, and you
want to handle the box with respect. I was glad that the
delivery point was early in my route.
~Linda B.

[And, oops, I’m a bit late with this comment. This comment was
made after the issue on Aug 1st.]

I work as a Foster Grandparent in a middle school. I hear a lot of
forbidden words throughout the day. Being a non-cusser it really
grates of my nerves. I didn't know it could also be contagious. I
ride a handicapped van to and from the school, if you don't come
out in 5 minuets the van will leave so I am always ready and
waiting at the appointed time. One day I got involved with a boy I
was helping and did not notice the time. One of the students
suddenly yelled out "Grandma your bus is outside waiting for you."
I looked out the window and sure enough there it was. Without
thought I responded, "Oh, Sh...T ! ! The whole class exploded.
I was just as stunned as they were, I NEVER say that. They still
tease me about it, But strange as it sounds they never cuss in
front of me now. They don't want to be a bad influence on Grandma.
~Wanda D.

A young woman was worried about her stress-related habit of biting
her fingernails down to the quick, so her friend advised her to
take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing
normally. Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her
nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toenails
so I bite them instead."



Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, my brother Don posted a
picture of his beloved truck in his locker. Since his fellow
Marines had pictures of their girlfriends posted, they often
ridiculed him for his object of adoration. "Laugh all you want,"
Don told them, "At least my truck will still be there when I get


There was a young college girl that was about to finish her senior
year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal
Democrat and was always at odds with her conservative Republican
father. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs
and his opposition to a large benevolent government, and tax
equalization, etc. He stopped her and asked her how she was doing
in school. She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really
tough. She had to study all the time, never had time to go out and
party and often went sleepless because all of the studying. She
didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many
college friends because of all her studying. He then asked how her
friend Mary, that was attending the same college, was doing. She
replied that she was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never
studied, was very popular on campus and was at parties all the
time. She often wouldn't show up for classes because she was hung
over. He then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's
office and ask why she couldn't take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it
to her friend that only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a
3.0 GPA. She fired back and said, "That wouldn't be fair, I
worked really hard for mine and Mary has done nothing!" After a
moment of silence, she replied, "Dad, quit trying to change the


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