Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

7/5 - Holding our breath for Boomers

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July! We sort of lounged around
the house, and played games. I think I got everyone to play me in chess.
Even son #4! We went down the street to a big hill, and watched
the city fireworks. On this hill we had a great view of 6 or 7
different cities’ fireworks. Our city was simulcasting the
fireworks to patriotic music on one of the FM radio stations. It
was ok, but I thought that they did a much better in years past,
but it was still fun. We didn’t get in till almost 11 last night,
so I thought I’d hit he sack instead of doing an issue.

Now someone will have to check my calculations on this. After we
saw some of the big ‘boomer’ fireworks go off, we counted. It was
about 7 seconds before we heard the boom. Then I calculated that
we were 12 blocks east and 6 blocks north of where the fireworks
were being shot off. Using the ol’ Pythagorean theorem (A squared
plus B squared equals C squared) that put us at 13.4 blocks away.
According to Wikipedia there are 8 blocks to a mile in Salt Lake
City. That put us 1.675 miles away from the booms.

Now, I was always taught that when you saw lightning, you counted.
One One Thousand. Two One Thousand. Whatever number you were at
was how many miles away the lightning hit.

So, if sound travels at 340.29 m/s, that’s 1116.15 Feet per
second. At 5000 feet above sea level (about where we were) sound
travels 98% as fast. So it should travel at about 1100 fps. At
1100 fps, and 5280 feet in a mile (times 1.675 miles) the booms
should take the sound 7.9 seconds to get to us.

Wow, that blows one of my favorite thunderstorm theories out of
the water!

Anyway, we’re all holding our breath for tomorrow morning. It’s
son #4’s 3rd post op MRI. My sweet wife and I are on an Ependymoma
emailing list, and we’ve been emailing back and forth with one of
the families who had their daughter’s MRI today. Tonight she

"(Our Daughter) had her MRI today and the results show the tumor
has recurred. Needless to say, we are heartbroken. It has been
only 9 months since radiation ended. She will have surgery as
soon as possible; we should know the definite date by tomorrow

I’m so sick to my stomach. This is so “real”. I hate this whole
brain tumor stuff.

Gotta leave at 6:45 tomorrow, so it’s off to bed. Right, like I
can sleep tonight.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comments

[Oops, I’ve been a little remiss in putting comments on the list.
In these summer slow months, there still are readers!]

Marty, The 24 roses for your anniversary still works out. One for
each year and one for each child.
~Keith H.
[HA! I knew there was a reason I got 2 dozen. But that poses a
problem for next year...]

I am so glad to be a part of this yahoo group. I do love clean
jokes that I can share with others.
~Amelia L.
[Welcome, and so do I!]


At Fort Rucker, Ala., the pressure of an upcoming inspection was
beginning to show. "Okay, men," the platoon leader ordered. "First
we need to strip this floor, then put down a layer of wax and buff
it. Next we'll mop it over, buff dry and wax it again. After that,
another mopping and waxing followed by a hand-buffing -- " "Sir,"
came a plaintive voice from back of the formation, "we're just
trying to fool a general, not sell the barracks!"
~Wanda D.


Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends' and
relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a
list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when
the machine was turned on. I went to a number of computer stores
to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck
at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed
experienced. "Can you recommend something that will remind me of
birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked. "Have you tried a wife?" he


When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was
assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a
Military Intelligence unit. One day a long came around with a
cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and
initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant
me too, so I read and initialed it. BUT a few days later, it came
back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read: "You
are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an
authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your
erasure." So I did.


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