Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

6/27 - Ice Cold Skiing with Superman!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Friday and Saturday was our annual Youth conference. That’s where
the youth ages 12-17 get together and do activities over a couple
of days. This year they hiked up to Timpanogos Cave National
, climbed a rock wall and did some scripture games.

Saturday my scouts cooked breakfast for about 35 people. I was a
little worried, but we all got a lot of compliments. All of the
Scouts did a great job! We might even do that for a fund raiser for
camp next year... Anyway, one of the highlight of the day was going
up to Jordanelle reservoir state park. I brought the ol’ canoe, and
along with 4 other canoes, and two ski boats, everyone had a
wonderful time.

Sons #1 and #2 and I went out later in the afternoon on the
smaller boat to have some fun. Neither of the boys had been on a
boat like that before, and they said it was the best part of the
two day conference. At the end of the day I learned what it means
to “pull a superman”. Son #2 tried (unsuccessfully) to use a wake
board. When the boat took off he started to get up, but the wake
board wasn’t tight enough on his feet and fell off. But he kept
hold of the rope like a trooper. But as he went down, he didn’t
let go. With his life jacket on, he floated but with the speed of
the boat he was under the water about 6 inches. With his arms
outstretched and water flowing over his semi-submerged head, he
looked just like superman flying through the water. Then he
realized that he ought to do something, so he put his right hand
in the air as if to say, “ok, you can stop now.” That looked even
funnier. After a second or two, he realized that he should
probably let go. So he did. We all had a good chuckle over that.

Anyway, Son #1 had such a great time, he kept saying, “You should
get a boat dad! You should buy a boat!” At one point he asked the
boat owner, “So, how much is it to get in and launch your boat
here?” He replied, “$9”. “See dad! It’s not that much!”...

Later, on the way home, a friend who I was driving with said, “Ya
know, a friend of mine once told me how you could tell if you
would be comfortable as a boat owner. He told me you should sit in
a bathtub and fill it full of cold water. Then, add in a lot of
ice, just to make sure you are ok with the temperature. If you’re
comfortable with that, you’re getting close. Then he said; pull
the plug and let the water start to drain out. As the water
drains, take $100 bills and stuff them down the drain with the
water. He said, if you’re comfortable with that, then you’d be a
good boat owner.”

Hmm... I’m not sure I like the ice in the water bit...

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:


With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the
moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important
person which almost went unnoticed at the end of May. Larry La
Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age
93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into
the coffin. They put his left leg in. Then the trouble started....
~#1 Sister - Amy


We were conducting flight operations aboard the USS Independence
off Jacksonville, Fla. The topside safety petty officer on the
No. 3 catapult was accidentally blown over the side by the exhaust
of a turning F-4 Phantom jet. All those who witnessed the
incident thought for sure the man was lost, because the flight
deck was 65 feet above the ocean. Fortunately, he was rescued by
the ship's helicopter. Later that day, I visited him in sick
bay. "Were you scared?" I asked. "Scared?" he said. "I yelled
'Man overboard!' three times before I hit the water!"


Small Town People, those who grew up in small towns will laugh
when they read this. Those who didn't will be in disbelief!

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.
2) You know what 4-H means.
3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the
middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at
the party because of the scratches on their legs from running
through the woods when the party was busted. (See # 6.)
4) You used to "drag" Main.
5) You said the "F" word and your parents knew within the hour.
6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police
officers because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones
7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks
knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell
your parents anyhow).
8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy
cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on
back roads to smoke them.
9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer
your buyer dropped off.
10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.
11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by
references. Turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks to Anderson's,
and it's four houses left of the track field.
13) The golf course had only 9 holes.
14) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-oyfriend/girlfriend.
15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you
will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
16) The town next to you was considered "trashy" or "snooty," but
was actually just like your town.
17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1940 as the
"rich people."
18) The people in the "big city" dressed funny, and then you
picked up the trend two years later.
19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or
the town bar.
20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through
town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school
21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get
22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.
23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people
would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.
24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.
25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.
26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without
any ID.
27) The closest McDonalds was 45 miles away (or more).
28) The closest mall was over an hour away.
29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a
riding lawn mower.
30) You've peed in a cornfield.
31) Most people went by a nickname.
32) You laughed your butt off reading this because you know it is
true and you forward it to everyone who may have lived in a small


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