Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

6/8 - Camp and Fish'n

Thursday, June 08, 2006

This weekend the Scouts and I are going on a campout. It’s been
awhile since we’ve gone, mostly because I’ve spent 9 weekends up
in Randolph cleaning dad’s house. But, I think camping will be a bit more fun...

Most of the night I’ve been packing gear, plus fishing poles.
Saturday is free fishing day in Utah, so we’ll get to soak a few
lines and test our luck. I’ll let you know more on Monday night’s

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

The first salute received by a freshly commissioned second
lieutenant is always significant, symbolizing authority and
prestige. When I pinned on my new Air Force gold bars and stepped
out to face the world, I encountered a staff sergeant. Giving me
a snappy salute, he said, "Good morning, Lieutenant. Your hat is
on backward." As the years have passed, anytime I begin to feel
self-important, I remember those words.


At a gardening store I told the young clerk I needed some potting
soil. "Over there," she answered, "in 40-pound bags." "I couldn't
possibly handle one of those," I said. "No problem. I'll get my
husband to carry it to the car for you." "That's no good," I
replied. "If I took a 40-pound bag home, I'd have to take your
husband too." She smiled and said, "It's a deal!"


An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't just happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about isn't never going to happen

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life Then when you get older and think
back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with something that isn't bothering you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with,
watches you from the mirror every morning.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.

* Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than
putting it back in.

* If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try
ordering somebody else's dog around.


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