Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

9/6 - Stinky Shoes? I'm outta here!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I took a trip to my Rural East clinics today. It was a pretty busy
day at one of the clinics. I worked on computer moves and problems
for almost 5 hours. That wouldn’t be so bad, but the drive is 3
hours both ways and I had two other clinics to support. So, after
a 12 hour day, I’m home. (And no overtime, darn! I’ll just use
less vacation for the Labor Day holiday.)

It was kind of a bitter sweet trip. I had to tell the clinics that
it would be my last trip down there. Some of those clinics are my
favorites... It’s my last trip down because I was offered a job
(same company, same clinic) to be a PACS administrator. I had a
really hard time deciding weather to take this job or not. I love
my job. I love helping people and I’m pretty good at it too. The
crew I work with is the best, and my boss is pretty cool too.
There was only one small problem; they’ll pay me tons more to take
this new job. After a week of serious thought, I jumped. On Friday
I gave my boss 3 weeks notice; (mostly because I know how slowly
the wheels of hiring people go at this place.)

So, what’s a PACS administrator? Good question. It’s the same
question I had just before I applied. All I knew was that it paid
a bunch more than when I was making. PACS stands for Picture
Archival and Communications Systems. The ‘Picture’ part is digital
x-rays. The Archival and Communications systems part is the
storing, distributing, and helping Doctors view the digital x-
rays. I’m sure I’ll let you know more as I get trained.

They say I’m good with the Docs, and they think I’ll be a quick
study. Let’s hope so.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

p.s. We got a new web cam last weekend, and I was working on a
100% video issue for last night. It didn’t work out very well. I
had son #4 singing ‘Alice, where are you going?’ and the ‘ABC
song.’ But, I had lighting, sound, and posting issues, so at 11:30
last night I decided to bag the issue. More later...

Reader Comment sections

Marty, Sorry about the meat ordeal, but for future reference, it
smells a lot less after it is refrozen. It might take an ice pick
or a crowbar to get it loose, but the smell is less. Have a great
day, Chuck

[ugg... and I had almost put those stinky thoughts out of my head.
Oh, and a quick little story. Tuesday I was fixing a printer. “oh
my” I thought, what’s that smell? “No... couldn’t be.” Yes it was,
it was the smell of the meat. “Oh shoot... the juice must have
splashed on my shoes yesterday. Gag, it stinks!” So, because it
was the first day of school for son #4, and seeing my sweet wife
cry as the bus went down the street, I figured I’d use that excuse
to invite her to lunch and keep her mind off of things (and bring
a fresh pair of shoes to boot! [pun]...) It was worth it!


"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography and the dancers hit each other."
--Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts


One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's
office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a
mother sitting there with curlers in her hair, and wearing

"Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her.

"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to
embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting
school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!"


I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio help
callers with their home problems. One woman called up hysterical
after finding a skunk in her basement. "Leave a trail of
breadcrumbs or cat food from your basement to your backyard,"
suggested the show's host. "That'll get rid of it." An hour later
the woman called back, even more upset. "Now I have TWO skunks in
my basement!"


A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular
basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner
club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house
each month. Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the
meal. When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the
dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all
the others and prepare a meal that as the best that any of them
had ever lapped a lip over. A few days before the big event, Susie
got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak.
When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the
price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay. She then
told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms, because they
are just too expensive." He said, "Why don't you go down in the
pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them
right in the creek bed." She said, " I don't want to do that,
because I have heard that wild mushrooms can be poison." He then
said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the
time and it never has affected them." After thinking about this,
Susie decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went
down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild
mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get
them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on
the back porch and got the bowl belonging to Spot, (the yard dog)
and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on
them to make them tasty. Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had
eaten every bite. All morning long, Susie watched him and the wild
mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from
town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and
a little cap on her head.....it was first class. After everyone
had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize.
The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit. About
this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and
whispered in Susie's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."
With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally
calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had
happened. The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care
of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick
as I can get there. We will pump out everyone's stomach and
everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them
calm." It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren
as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there,
the EMTs got out with their suitcases and a stomach pump and the
doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each
person into the master bedroom and pumped out their stomach.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I
think everything will be fine now," and he left. They were all
looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about
this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow
that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."
~Betty H.


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