Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, September 04, 2006

9/4 - Nasty Gross Stinky White Cane

Monday, September 04, 2006

Oh, I’ll bet our Labor day was more exciting than your was! Last
weekend we went to my #1 mom’s for dinner. My foster sister was
there and said that she left a message on our machine the week
before (that no one heard) that the power company had shut the
power off to my dad’s house in Randolph. After I straightened out
the billing we got an order to turn the power back on. But, you’d
think that Rocky Mountain Power would notify you they’re shutting
off your deceased father’s power at an empty house (8 months after
their last bill) by mail. But no such luck with this power
company. They say a door hanger is notice enough... ~great~
customer service Rocky Mountain...

Anyway, things wouldn’t have been so bad, but dad had a chest
freezer half full of meat. Can you just imagine? I’m telling you,
today was the nastiest, grossest, sickest job I’ve done in my
entire life. The smell was just indescribable. I won’t go into
details, but I’m sure you can use your imagination... I’m glad
that part of the ordeal is over...

On the lighter side, one of the boys found a cane that someone had
given my dad on one of his ‘old timer’ birthdays. I’m sure you’ve
seen something like it; it’s a cane with a rear view mirror and a
horn on it.

Son #4 said, “Hey, that’s great, I could use a cane!” (He’s been
asking for a white cane). So, for the next hour he ran around the
yard, smacked the cane on the ground, and honked his horn.
Tomorrow is his first day of school. I’m sure a cane will be a the
first topic of discussion between his teacher and us!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment sections

[Ok, ok... I know there are some of you out there who wouldn't say
anything, but miss me when I skip a day.]
Now you know we miss you..but I think we are all learning that you
have a good excuse!!!

[But after I clocked out, we had a nice dinner, took a dip in the
pool and hot tub and went back to the room to watch TV.]
You want us to really believe you just watched TV after a nice dip
in the pool and hot tub?
[Um... yeah, that’s what we did. Honest. [big grin]]

[It was so muddy and I fell and got covered in mud.]
Hope your sweet wife got a picture of that one!!

[Go figure, to tell you the truth, I think I'd be board with
myself if I were me...]
Oh really now... Oak or Hickory?
[Actually, it would be balsa...]

[I could see my wife's head in her hands worried sick.]
You mean trying to keep the laughter in??? Knowing full well that
she was glad it wasn't herself calling 911
~Debi s.~

[About the Closet Story...]
Actually, your [closet] story was pretty accurate, except I was
trying to find Chuzzle on the computer for him and I could'nt find
it right away. He said, "Grandma, think!!" I said I didn't know
what to think. He then said, "I'm going in here to think!" and he
went in the closet. He came out a couple of times and said he was
going back in and the last time he locked it. He was very brave,
even though he doesn't like the dark and he said he learned never
to do that again. In fact, when he want into the tiny bathroom
the next time, he wouldn't close the door, but made me go into the
next room, so he could have his "privacy".
~#1 Mom

>Re: 8/31 - Traveling Baby Sitter Troubles

I think you should have titled it ‘#4 Coming Out of the Closet’
~#1 sister

[Um... No.]


At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment
of silence to remember the faithful dead... As the church grew
quiet, a little boy sitting in front of me turned to his father
and said excitedly, "Dad, you have some of their albums!"


A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of
summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in
front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm
enough to say that her five-year-old son was sitting on the back
of an alligator. Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the
direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot
male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by
twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he tried to
console the mother by saying, "I think I can grab the boy and move
away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have
to shoot the gator." To which the lady replies "Good Heavens, no!
Don't shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a
minute so I could take my son's picture on his back."


"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good
points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to
tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a
chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block
north." "What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective
buyer. "The advantage is that you can always tell which way the
wind is blowing."


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