Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, September 25, 2006

9/25 - Cold Bone Ice Cream

Monday, September 25, 2006

You know when you get really excited about something that’s coming
up, and then you’re disappointed after it gets here? Well, I’ve
got two of ‘em for you today.

‘member how I told you that I started a new job today? Well, it
turns out I didn’t start. The bosses talked it over and I only get
to train for 2 days a week until they hire someone. Hmm... that
might be awhile. I still get to support all of the clinic
computers, but I should be able to pop in to radiology when I have
time. I got a 20 minute lesson in today. Sounds like really
interesting stuff! I just hope they hire someone for my position
quick, so I can get going on my new job...

And, today was Chili’s day. Chili’s donates 100% of their profits
from today’s sales to St. Jude’s children’s hospital. We have been
looking forward to tonight for a while now. Unfortunately, they
disappointed me. The service was pretty poor. My steak came out
very rare, not medium rare. When I sent it back, the waitress took
my whole dinner plate back with her. When she came back 10 minutes
later asking if anyone wanted any desert, I told her I would like
my dinner first. She brought back (just) my steak on a plate and
asked if I wanted anything else. I told her, “Yeah, the rest of my
dinner.” That came back, cold. They forgot to keep it warm, or at
least nuke it back to warm... The waitress didn’t even say sorry
about my old cold dinner. I wrote to their customer service on-
line, and I’ll let you know if anything happens.

Anyway, we each colored a Chili to donate a few bucks more to St.
Jude’s and had a good time doing that. My sweet wife printed up
some pictures of son #4 and we put them on each chili.

Anyway, it was fun.

So, if you went to Chili’s tonight for dinner, let me know how it
went, and we’ll compare notes.

And, here’s a freebie I just found out about. Free Ice Cream on
Thursday at Cold Stone Creamery!

Here’s the... scoop... (pun)

“You’re invited to help Cold Stone Creamery and the Make-A-Wish
Foundation® celebrate the Fifth Annual World's Largest Ice Cream
Social! Visit any participating Cold Stone Creamery® store
location Thursday, Sept. 28 from 5-8 p.m. to get a free serving of
Cole’s Creation and enjoy a cool Cold Stone treat and support a
great cause. In exchange for the free ice cream, Cold Stone
Creamery will accept donations to benefit the Make-A-Wish
Foundation, an organization that grants the wishes of children
with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human
experience with hope, strength and joy. . Cole’s Creation was
inspired by Cole, a 10-year-old wish kid from Colorado. The cake
consists of chocolate ice cream blended on a cold granite stone
with yellow cake, chocolate chips, and rainbow sprinkles. To find
the Cold Stone Creamery location nearest you, click here.
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

p.s. Don’t forget to read the comment section for an update on
#4’s surgery.

Reader Comment sections

when is surgery scheduled? Let us know so we can send #4 lots and
lots of cards. Please remind me of your box# again. God Bless.

[First, the PO Box is 901072 Sandy UT 84090. The address is on the
blog site on the top right hand corner]

[Second, I finally got a chance to talk to my sweet wife at length
this weekend about son #4’s surgery. We won’t know the date until
tomorrow at the earliest. She told me that what the plastic
surgeon told her was that they would (as best that I could
understand it third hand...) make an incision across the top of
his head, (my guess is about the coronal suture line.) See picture
on the blog, or go to
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/53/Gray_188_-_Side_view_of_the_skull.png ) then pull the scalp forward, and
then cut out the frontal part of the skull. I guess the skull is
thicker here, and they can split it in half into plates. It should
grow back. They’ll take that bone and graft it into where his
other bone isn’t growing. (I’m guessing along the Lower Temporal
line, where the bone is dying. But, what do I know?) Anyway, after
I sign a release up at the hospital, I should be able to get some
real images. I’ll let you know more when I find out more. And
thanks for the question Don!]


The Priest had just finished hearing the man's confession and was
considering the man's penitence. "Are you sure you're going to try
to set aside all sin?" "Yes, Father, I certainly am going to try."
replied the man. "I hereby resolve to double my efforts." "And
you're going to attend Mass regularly my son?" the Priest went on.
"Yes, Father, I realize I have strayed." said the man. "I shall
both worship and confess every week." "And how about your debts
and those you have cheated?" inquired the Priest. "Now just a
minute, Father." said the man. "Now you're talking business, not


A while back an airplane company ran an add stating that they
would make you a pilot for $2,900. They want to train more people
to fly planes in hopes that they could sell more planes. Their add
had a beautiful picture of an airplane and in big black print were
the words, "We will make you a pilot for $2,900. I heard that the
ad elicited a lot of response, but the most unique response came
from 7 women in Kansas. They wrote into the company and said; "We
understand you can make us a pilot for $2,900. We would like you
to make us one right away. We want him to be a man, 6 feet tall,
190 pounds, with blue eyes and brown wavy hair. We understand that
you guarantee that you can make us a pilot. Therefore we would
like the pilot on approval for about 60 days. If he works out
we'll order more."


On a tour of Alaska, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit
the mountains for some sight seeing. He was cruising along the
campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion
at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals,
shorts, a "Save the Whales" T-shirt and a Tree Hugger Hat, was
struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself
from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly. As the Pope watched horrified,
a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a
.44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and
pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear. Then
using long clubs, the three loggers beat the bear to death and two
of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other
tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat. As they
prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give
you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard
there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental
activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who
was that guy?" "It was the Pope," another replied, "he's in direct
contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom." "Well," the
logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom, but he sure
doesn't know anything about bear hunting..... By the way, is the
bait holding up okay or do we need to go back to town and grab
another one?"


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