Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

5/31 - Has it really been that long?

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Yesterday son #4 came home with a red ‘Unified Fire Authority’
fire hat on. Their class went to the fire department and took a
tour. He even got to hold the hose when the shot water out of it.

When he got home from school today, he told my sweet wife that he
didn’t want to go to school tomorrow. Although not too terribly
unusual, she asked, “Why not? It’s your beach day and you’ll get
to play in the water.” He said, “I don’t want the firemen to
squirt me!”


Then, when we went to Disney World, they gave him a hat and some
stickers that showed he was a ‘special’ kid, and the cast members
were supposed to give him special attention. (We didn’t notice any
difference...) Anyway, the hat and stickers had the Genie from
Aladdin on them. When we got back and were looking at all of the
stuff, he said, “Who’s Aladdin, and who’s Genie?” Can you believe
it’s been 14 years since that movie came out? Wow!

So we rented it last weekend and watched it tonight. It’s still a
pretty good movie!

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

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Finding a bottle on the beach, Jake uncorked it and released a

"You get three wishes." the genie says.

"Yes!" Jake replies.

"Well, let's see now, first I want $1 billion dollars."

POOF! A bank account statement appears in his hand.

"Next, I want a house in Hawaii."

POOF! He finds himself holding the deed to a property in Honolulu.

"Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."

POOF! Jakes immediately turns into a box of chocolates!


Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine
husband called home to tell me he would be late - again. He went
on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the
platoon's quarters and they had to discipline the whole squad. I
then launched into a tirade, arguing that many men had pictures
hanging in their quarters at our previous post, so his new platoon
should not be penalized for something so trivial. My husband
calmly listened to my gripes and then explained, "Honey, 'dirty
magazines': the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned."


A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"Wow! And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.

"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now then, can I
have my beer and my sandwich, please?"

"Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's... just
we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing 'round
this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves.
This continues for 2 weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the
circus comes into the pub and the bartender tells him about the
incredible talking duck.

"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see me."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says,

"Hey, Mr. Duck, I lined you up with a top job paying really good

"Oh, yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus" says the bartender.

"Huh? The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"The circus? You mean that place with the big tent? With all the
animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?"
asks the duck.

"That's it! That's right!" says the bartender.

The duck looks confused and asks:

"But what on earth do they want with a carpenter?"


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