5/12 - He's baaack... not him, him!

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Friday, May 12, 2006
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Can it possibly be? Is it true? Is it a bird? Is it a
plane? No... It's the triumphant return of Justin to
Fridays on Marty's JOTD. Da da da da! (Imagine some
majestic musical score here...)

It's been quite a few months since I have filled in for
Marty. Between tax season, family crises, and a brief,
but memorable trip to Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia (at least in
my mind), Fridays on the JOTD have been pretty low on
my list. But I'm back.

I found out something funny the other day that my boss's
wife does to my boss every year for Valentine's Day and
their anniversary. For the past ten years or so, she has
been giving him the same Valentine's Day card and the same
Anniversary card. She gets new envelopes each year and
puts a fresh kiss on the outside, but the cards (and
written sentiments) are the same year after year. He'll
open them, read them, and thank her for the nice card.
When they're finished exchanging gifts she'll clean up the
wrapping paper, and take the card and save it for the
next year. I don't think he's noticed yet.

Have a great weekend and enjoy today's jokes!
Justin

p.s. I saw Marty and his Son #2 in the Sound of Music last
night. They really did a great job. Marty's Sweet Wife
was also in the play, but she played a nun and I was in
the balcony and nuns all look alike anyway, don't they?
I'm kidding. They all did very well.

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Reader Comment Section:

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A Swiss guy visited Sydney, Australia, and pulled up at a
bus stop where two locals were waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asked.

The two Aussies just stared at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tried. The two
continued to stare.

"Parlare Italiano?"

Other than a glance at each other, there was still no
response.

"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"

Still nothing.

The Swiss guy gave up and drove off, extremely disgusted.
When he was gone, the first Aussie turned to the second
and said, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign
language."

"Why?" the other replied. "That guy knew four languages,
and it didn't do him any good."

~submitted by Wanda D.

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A local stupid criminal...

Orem Man Reports Marijuana Stolen
January 31, 2006

(KSL News) -- Two people are in jail following a home
burglary.

According to police reports, 18-year-old Kory C. Tippetts
returned home Monday evening to discover that someone had
broken into his house. Tippetts reported that a quarter-
pound of marijuana was the only thing missing.

Tippetts told police he had an idea who might have stolen
it. Tippetts explained to police that he had received a
call earlier that day from 23-year-old Richard W. Hight.
Hight wanted to buy some marijuana, but Tippetts couldn't
meet him to make the sale.

Officers checked Hight's house, where they recovered six
ounces of marijuana and arrested him for burglary, theft,
and possession of marijuana in a drug-free-zone with the
intent to distribute. He was booked into the Utah County
jail.

With the stolen marijuana now in hand, the officers called
Tippetts to come to the police station to identify the
drugs. Tippetts came to the station, identified the drugs,
and was then arrested and booked on drug related charges.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=157208

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Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all
Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend
gambling trip to Louisiana.

The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the
Blonde team rode on the top level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having
a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard
anything from the Blondes upstairs.

She decided to go up and investigate.

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the
Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the
road, clutching the seats in front of them with white
knuckles.

The brunette asked, "What the heck's going on up here?
We're having a great time downstairs!"

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and
whispered... YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!