Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Coupons for Buttery Ice Cream!

Monday, April 25, 2005

Tonight for family night, we went to a dinner and a movie. We had coupons for Hometown Buffet. (We call it Hometown Barf-A). I walked up to the counter, looked at the ages for kids, and adults and said, “I need 3 adults, and 3 children”. I set down a 20% off for the adults coupon, and a 99¢ coupon for the kids. The young guy at the register said, “You can only use one of these. Which one do you want to use.” Rather than argue with him and make a scene, I took back the 99¢ coupon and said, “Ok, I’ll just have 3 adult meals.” He rang me up and I paid. Then I handed the 99¢ coupon, along with $5 to son #2 and said, “Here, buy you and your little brothers dinner tonight.” The guy at the register stared at me for a second, then rang son #2 up.

After we ate, the kids headed right for the desert bar. Son #4 grabbed a little ice-cream bowl as my sweet wife said, “Here, I’ll help you.” He looked at her sternly and said, “I CAN DO IT MOM! Barney said so!”

Oh, my. Ok.

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

p.s. What a pleasant surprise to hear from Justin our part-time
fill-in Joke of the day dude last Friday. Thanks Justin!

Reader Comment Section:

>Margarine is but one molecule from being PLASTIC..... (This fact
>alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and
>anything else that is hydrogenated, this means hydrogen is added
>changing the molecular structure of the food.)

Marty, did you actually read the Snopes discussion of butter versus
margarine, or did you just read the folk tale? Snopes says that
"one molecule away from being..." phrase has been used
(incorrectly, but for propaganda purposes) in many food related
arguments. Snopes says this argument is "essentially meaningless."
Any oil (fat) product that is solid at room temperature would best
be avoided. We have found that olive oil (liquid at room
temperature and has many beneficial qualities--people in the olive
oil loving Mediterranean part of the world live a year longer than
North Americans, despite their love for tobacco) can be substituted
for any other oil or fat use without harming the flavour. Olive
oil is actually good for the heart, as is red wine.
Did you know that rubber is the main ingredient of chewing gum? If
you want to avoid eating plastic, grow your own veggies, as market
veggies are wrapped in plastic that may not remain as distinct from
the plant matter as we might hope.
Bill A.

DO YOU KNOW...the difference between water and hydrochloric
acid(battery acid)? Water(H2O) is only one molecule away from being
battery acid(H2O2). Would you consider taking a drink from your car
battery? Same comparison.
Duane V.
Spokane, WA

[Ok, ok. But at least butter is healthier than margarine. My
Grandfather grew up in Chicago and delivered eggs, cheese, and
butter for my Great-Grandfather’s business. My #1 mom said Grandpa
would eat anything in the world except margarine. He lived 3 days
short of his 88th birthday. So that has to mean butter is good for
you! (grin). My sweet wife actually bought butter this weekend, and
I had forgotten how good it tastes. Oh, and I feel much healthier

> I think you have to be Jewish, have Jewish family, or know your
> Kosher foods for this joke!

I'm not, I don't, and I don't, but I asked around :
"Go Filter Fish!" = gefilte fish:
This popular Jewish dish consists of ground fish mixed with eggs,
matzo meal, and seasonings that have been formed into balls or
patties then simmered in vegetable or fish stock.
~Harlin S.

[I believe I’ve had gefilte fish twice. Once in Chicago, and once
in San Francisco. Not that much demand for it in Utah (grin) If I
remember correctly, I think I was just being polite the 2nd time I
had it...]

Marty! I've been away from the internet for 3 weeks due to a
computer upgrade. As a result, I just finished reading the March 22
issue of JOTD. I remember when your son #4 was in diapers. I cannot
believe he is 4 years old! Where does the time go? My Daughter#1
is 10 and going into the magnet program at her middle school next
year and Daughter#2 is almost 6! They grow up too fast! I simply
cannot believe he is 4!!! Keep up the good work!
Shannon in Nevada

>I remember when your son #4 was in diapers.
>They grow up too fast!

[Yes, I remember the diaper days. 10 years of diaper days. No, I
have to disagree with you on the 2nd point. They can never outgrow
diapers quick enough! 3 of my sisters-in-law have babies. I don’t
envy the diapers!]

[Ok, enough rambling from me. On with the jokes!]


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