Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Mommy Speak

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Mom’s just have a way with ‘mommy speak’.

Over the weekend, son #4 hanged me my work pager from off of my
night stand, and (like he does with so many things) just said,
“Here dad” and handed it to me. I try to teach them to put things
back where they got them, so just like every other time he’s handed
me stuff, I said, “Thanks, now go put it back right where you found

So Monday morning rolls around, and of course, I’m late for work
and frantically looking for all of my ...stuff... Of course, I
can’t find my pager. Luckily I remembered son #4 trying to give it
to me over the weekend. I asked him, “Son #4! Where’s my pager??”
He gave me that dear in the headlight look. I raised my voice a
little more, “You know, my little black pager. It’s about this big
and you were playing with it this weekend.” I was trying not to get
frustrated, but my sweet wife heard me and came to my rescue.
“What’s wrong?” she said. “He had my pager this weekend, and I
can’t find it. He hid it somewhere and won’t give it back.” So, she
took over with the ‘mommy speak’. “Honey, where’s daddy’s pager?
You know; the little black box that goes BEEP! BZZZ, BZZZ”.

His got a big smile on his face and his eyes got really big. He ran
into our bedroom, (with two parents following him) flopped down on
his belly, crawled under our bed, and was there for what seemed
like eternity. (probably going through his detailed filing system)
He scooted back out and said, “Here dad”

Only I didn’t tell him to put it back this time...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

Marty, Just wanted to tell you that lately your jokes have been
really good! you put a smile on my face. Thank you for taking out
time to spread a lot of joy. God bless you!
~Jill M.

Hi Marty,
I really enjoy your jokes and daily family humor. I also wanted
to promote something.....I know, I know, but this is different. I
belong to Sheltie Rescue of Central Indiana. I foster Shetland
Sheepdogs that need a home. Please spay or neuter your puppy as
soon as he/she is old enough. I also wanted to ask you to let your
readers know not to buy a puppy from a pet store. I know where
these puppies come from, and it is not pretty… Thanks, and keep up
the good work.
~Rick R.

[I can’t believe people pay those pet store prices anyway! $600+]

Marty -- Thanks for all the many jokes you've sent our way, and
also for all the interesting happenings of your wonderful family!
Now, in regards to a new dog that you were not quite certain
about getting, how about naming it 'TROUBLE' or 'TROUBLES'?? They
are alot of fun and we always thought our kids should have a dog.
Every kid needs a dog. However, now that kids are all grown up and
have their own offspring, we no longer have a dog to tie us down.
I think Kirby or Hoover are very clever names.

We once got a Brittney spaniel from the same place you will be
getting yours. We named her Ginger. I vote that you name yours
Ginger. (Just what you need, more name suggestions.)
~Uncle B

[But, if you ever came to town, you might get confused!]

Avoid Spears!
I like Dog and Kitty
Rupricht is also nice.
~Justin, the part time joke master jr.

[By the Way Mr. Part part part timer... when are you going to start
doing jokes on Fridays again? These folks can’t stand only 3 or 4
times a week! Besides, I want to hear your sister’s side of baby
sitting son #4...]

Sorry to hear that you had to put your Buster to sleep. Was he a
Brittany, too? If not.... hang on to your hats, and shoes, and books, etc.! We had a
Brit for 14 years, loved him dearly, but barely survived his "puppyhood."
Let me re-phrase that HE barely survived his puppyhood. What a naughty, busy
little guy he was. For the first 3 or so years we really questioned if he
would ever mellow out. So... good luck!
PS He was really cute, and innocent looking, when he was asleep.

Kathy A.

[No, Buster was a Hairy/Keeshond/Shepherd/Sneaky Dog mix. And
“innocent looking”?? sounds like some boys I know!]


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