Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Birthdays and homework

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Happy Ides of March! Only, that’s not what our special day is today. I’ll get to that in a minute. First, I’m sorry for not doing an issue last night. After family night last night, I happened to look on the computer to check out Son #1’s homework assignments from school. It seems there was a large deficit in the homework-turned-in column. So, he and I had a several hour long talk and homework session; All the way until midnight. And, it was a little late to do an issue after that.

So, anyway, we’ve got tons of reader comments today, so read on to see what’s so special about today!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:


I've been enjoying your humor for over two years now! I need a
small favor though. I lost yesterdays (Tuesday's) e-mail. Do you
have a copy you could resend?

[Nope, but you can read all of our past issues at
groups.yahoo.com/group/martysjotd ]

Dear Marty,
A couple of years ago, I agreed to a vaccuum cleaner demonstration
in the hope of getting either (a) a new set of kitchen ware, (b) a
new camera, or (c) valuable travel discount coupons. The salesman
arrived, unpacked approximately 1,000 parts and attachments, and
proceeded to dump 15 pounds of silica dust on my carpet, just to
prove that the XYZ home cleaning system could actually suck it all
back up. Call me crazy, but I found two things about this
experience absolutely hilarious: (1) the salesman was allergic to
cat fur and dust, which are the two elements actually holding my
carpet together, and (2) at the end of a 45-minute sales pitch,
after the selling price was revealed to be more than the cost of my
first car, the salesman began an imaginary conversation with his
"manager" (I could actually hear the dial tone buzzing at the other
end of the phone line), and assured me that they would slash the
price by 50% just because I was such a nice customer. I think I
still have a scar on the side of my tongue, which I bit to avoid
laughing in his face. Oh, and the free item? A coupon for one free
night's stay at a hotel in my choice of Daytona, Fort Lauderdale,
or Reno. Travel must be booked 6 months in advance and receipts
forwarded for reimbursement. Sheesh! At least I got a great story
out of it. Cheers,
Joanne L.
Montreal, Canada
PS ... I hope this won't put anyone on his/her high horse and start
defending these sales people for "just trying to make a living."

Marty, Since it's been quiet with the comments I thought I would
make some noise. I really have enjoyed your jokes and stories about
your family. Formerly from Idaho I can relate to some of the Utah
tales. Now I am living in Virginia far away from my family. I am
going to be purchasing my first home on my own in a few months and
was hoping to find some links or ideas of stores where I can find
great (cheap) deals on household items. I welcome any advice.
-Katrina A.
[Any advice? Don’t get a puppy...]

Marty, I just read your Thurs p.m. issue. I check for it before I
got to bed. Here in the midwest we are 1 hour ahead of you. It is a
little after midnight right now, & I am wondering if I will be one
of the 'first' (or the first??) to get back to you about the 15th
of March question you asked. I knew it right away.....It's the Ides
of March. I think everyone knows that one! (or they should!!)
[Nope, it might be, but that’s not what’s special about it...]

I would say that it's the Pinewood Derby...
[Nope, good guess though]

>> Speaking of next week, we have a huge day on Tuesday the 15th
>> of March. Can anyone guess what it is?

~Ide~ like to take a guess... On March 15, Caesar's enemies
assassinated him in the Pompey theater, at the foot of Pompey's
statue, where the Roman Senate was meeting that day in the temple
of Venus. Did You Know : In the ancient Roman calendar, each of the
12 months had an "ides." In March, May, July and October, the ides
fell on the 15th day. In every other month, the ides fell on the
13th. The word "ides" was derived from the Latin "to divide." The
ides were originally meant to mark the full moon.

[~IDE~idn’t know all that...]

Here's a Caesar puzzle...
Caesar and Brutus are playing a game in which each says the
next number from a well-known sequence. The first 19 numbers
of the sequence are given below:
1 2 3 2 1 2 3 4 2 1 2 3 4 3 2 3 4 5 3 ___?
What is the 20th?
The answer is :

1 2 3 2 1 2 3 4 2 1 2 3 4 3 2 3 4 5
3 2

They are counting the number of characters in the Roman numerals.


"Beware the Ides of March!"
Justin H.
[Are they worse than the Ides of December?]

No 4's 4th Birthday.
Bob B.
[Nope, but Bob, you get the prize for the closest guess!]

Although Son #4’s Bday is very close, it’s OUR BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday to us…
Happy Birthday to us…
Happy Birthday Dear Marty’s Joke of the day readers…
Happy Birthday to us

In the upper right hand of our YahooGroups page, it says we were created on March 15, 2000. So, I’ve been sending out jokes for 5 years now. That’s gotta be a record...

Anyway, Enjoy the jokes today!


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