Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Columbus Day Monoply Shark

Monday, October 11, 2004

I guess today was Columbus Day. This is one of those holidays you
really don’t realize is there, until you find your bank closed, the
kids end up having a ‘teacher’ day, and the mail doesn’t come. But,
this year’s Columbus Day was all for the best. I was scheduled to
work the late swing shift, and all of the boys were home today. So,
instead of our usual Monday night family night, we had a family
‘day’. We had a nice big breakfast, goofed around a little bit, and
even had time to play monopoly.

Now, you have to realize, I am the worlds biggest monopoly player.
I love the game, I’m ruthless at it, and usually win. Most of the
family won’t play me anymore because I get so ‘in’ to the game. So
when sons #1 and #2 played me, and tried to gang up on me, I
figured I could still win. But, I started out slow with less
property then they had, I kept giving them hints on how to play to
kill me. (Bad idea)

At one point I was desperate and offered son #2 to trade my two
green properties for one dark purple (to make my only set) one
light blue, one purple, and one red property. Giving me 2/3rds of
the 3 sets each and the ‘little’ set. That also gave him the green
set, and something for me to try and work on. [Monopoly trivia:
Green is the most difficult set to improve when looking at the cost
vs. return] (A lot of good that bit if trivia did me!)

Son #1 kept saying it was the worst deal in the world and son #2
shouldn’t do it. So, cash rich and property poor, I ended up
throwing in $300 before son #2 finally took the bait. Then
proceeded to kill son #1 and I within the next 15 minutes. Son #2
was never so happy. “I beat dad at Monopoly! I bead dad!”

I tried to tell him about being a sore winner as I sulked off and
threw a parting shot, “winner has to clean up the game”...

Ahh, but little do they know that it was all a ploy to get them to
want to play again. I’ll wait until they save their allowance, let
them wager it all, then play as Monopoly-Shark-Dad!

I shall return!


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