Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

2/20 - First comes love...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Then comes marriage then comes baby in the baby carriage. [Jumping
on my soap box here] At least that’s the way the rhyme went when
I was in elementary school. I guess it’s just not that way
anymore. Now it’s first comes lust, then come baby...

We’re just at the very end of sinking about $4,000 into the ol’
rental house. It looks really really good inside. It’s amazing how
new carpet, paint, linoleum, new doors, new tiled shower, and
lots and lots of clean up, can make a house look good. (But the
last renters and their dog did a real number on the lawn, and
there’s not much we can do about that in February.)

Anyway, back to my earlier point. We now have a couple of good
applicants. But most of the parents’ last names that are different
then each other, and the kids have different last names from the
parents. It’s like it’s a hodgepodge of yours mine and ours. It’s
sad that there is no commitment with some people today. Maybe I’m
just naive, but if people won’t commit to a ‘death do us part
marriage (much less an eternal marriage) what kind of commitment
are they going to give a stupid landlord?

Maybe my sweet wife and I are just lucky. Or maybe it has to do
with commitment. You tell me. I just don’t get it... [Ok, stepping
off my soapbox. And now back to your regularly scheduled blog.]

Enjoy today’s Jokes

Reader Comments

having lived in FEE-NICKS for a year, i can testify that those are
correct statements. even had 2 freeway shootings occur while i was
there. as far as the length of rush hour, i worked graveyards and
going to work was HORRIBLE! not only was there a lot of traffic
@ 11 pm, thats also when the barrels were moved.
~J. Todd H.

I enjoy ALL of your newsletters! It's great that you allow us to
peek into the window of your home life, to teach and entertain us.
I'm so glad the tests show that your son's condition is stable.
Now, I knew you'd want to know this: Andrews not only *did *not
sing that day, she *could *not as a result of cancer surgery (gone
wrong) in 1997. http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/andrews.asp

[Ouch, caught at my own game. But, it wasn’t really a ...true...
story, was it? (grin)]


And They Ask Why I Like Retirement?!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work;
refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement,
attic or garage?

Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids
will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as
A retiree?Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but
misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

My favorite one:
Question: What do you do all week?Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!
~My #1 Mom


Senator Hillary Clinton is being criticized because she recently
called today's college kids 'lazy' and 'uninformed.' A
spokesperson for college kids said, 'Whatever, lady from TV.'
~Conan O'Brien


When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
"You're running around with other women," she told her mate. "Eve,
honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know
you're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam
fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest.
It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the
torso. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting
your ribs," said Eve.

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