Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

2/13 - How Ironic?

Irony - A contradiction or incongruity.

“Off-duty officer called hero after Utah rampage.”

Ken Hammond, an off duty police officer from Ogden, brought down
Trolley Square shooting suspect Sulejmen Talovic last night.
Hammond was having dinner at the Trolley Square Rodizio grill with
his wife for an early valentines dinner. (The Rodizio grill is an
all you can eat Brazilian stake house that I love to eat at... at
least the 3 times I’ve been there. It’s $$$ expensive!) When
Officer Hammond heard shots he followed and fired on the suspect.

This morning I was listening to the radio, and some guy called in
saying that the last time he went to Trolley Square, there were
“No Guns Allowed” signs on all of the doors. I don’t have any idea
if that’s true or not, but with out being too political, can I
say, “How Ironic is that?”

So today’s joke theme is irony...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Oh, and son #4 was really really mad that he won’t be on the radio
tomorrow. At KSL’s website at KSL’s website they said, “In light of the
recent tragedy, the KSL Radiothon has been postponed.” The
scheduling lady called my wife today and said she didn’t know if
they would change it to next week, next month, or not have it at
all. I’ll let you know when I know.

Reader Comments

Yeah! Nothin' like the smell of fresh baked bread. And to eat it
while it's still warm, with the butter melting into it--THAT's
pure heaven!
~James in California
[I’ll say!]

I had purchased a small home before I married my sweet hubby. When
we wed, of course I moved into his larger house in the suburbs and
my cute house (that I had renovated, painted, etc.) was turned
into a rental. For the year we had tenants in there, we heard no
complaints and they always paid on time or called us if they were
going to be late (which was usually within the 5 day grace period
anyway). Well, we figured that because there were no complaints,
that the house would have been left spic and span when they moved
out at the end of January.

Boy! Were we in for a big surprise! Let’s just say they won’t be
getting any of their deposit back because the place was so dirty
and there were a number of other issues. It’s almost as if they
didn’t want to bother and figured that we could just keep the
deposit so they wouldn’t have to do all the hard work in cleaning

We’re trying to sell the house now so of course we need to put
forth more effort into getting it fixed up than if we were to just
rent it out again. I hear ya; we really relied on that monthly
rent each month, so it looks like I’m going to KEEP baking the
bread for a while...

Best of luck on the MRI & the KSL Primary Children’s Hospital
Radio-thon! I just moved to Mountain Standard Time 2 weeks ago so
I just might be able to tune in. Does it reach Rexburg, ID?

[I don’t think it will reach Rexburg. Try
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=246 ]


From the “Irony Department”

Tue Feb 13 2007 19:31:25 ET
The Subcommittee on Energy and Air Quality hearing scheduled for
Wednesday, February 14, 2007, at 10:00 a.m. in room 2123 Rayburn
House Office Building has been postponed due to inclement weather.
[A snow and ice storm] The hearing is entitled “Climate Change:
Are Greenhouse Gas Emissions from Human Activities Contributing to
a Warming of the Planet?”


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? who tastes dog food when
it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for
the indestructible black box ?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why, if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?


More Irony

A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a
river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window,
climb out and swim to shore - where a tree blew over and killed

Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the
dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on
passed under a low-level bridge - killing him.

Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so
afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to
cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused
Hallas to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured

George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly
escaped death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for
one wall. After treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the
scene to search for files. The remaining wall then collapsed on
him, killing him.

Depressed since he could not find a job, 42-year-old Romolo
Ribolla sat in his kitchen near Pisa, Italy, with a gun in his
hand threatening to kill himself in 1981. His wife pleaded for him
not to do it, and after about an hour he burst into tears and
threw the gun to the floor. It went off and killed his wife.

In 1983, a Mrs. Carson of Lake Kushaqua, N.Y., was laid out in her
coffin, presumed dead of heart disease. As mourners watched, she
suddenly sat up. Her daughter dropped dead of fright.

A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but lay
back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend
he was hurt so he could collect insurance money. The car rolled
forward and crushed him to death.

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