Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

11/15 - Doting time!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Can I just dote on my sweet wife today? Here’s the scoop. I’ve had
my eye on this new GPS unit for months. Then I got to thinking, if
we were to take a long rode trip, and we were leaving soon, I’d
need to get that GPS soon. (yes, I’m an A number one
procrastinator) So, I found one for a great deal on eBay Saturday,
and had it shipped overnight.

My sweet wife knew that I had been talking about getting this GPS
all weekend. It was scheduled to be delivered on Tuesday. I told
her to put a note on the door so that if she left the house, the
Post Office could leave the GPS on the door step. Well, the
postman apparently didn’t go to the door; he left a notice in the
mailbox saying they would deliver it the next day. When my sweet
wife got home, without even asking, she took the notice and went
straight to the post office. After standing in line for 45
minutes, she got the package and brought it home. “Guess what
Honey; I’ve got your GPS!” I would have told me to go stand in
line myself. My sweetie is just one awesome lady.

Here are a few other tidbits. Every morning, (and I love to brag
about this to anyone who will listen) no matter if its 7:30 or
5:30, she gets up with me and helps me get going for work. She
makes sure I have clean clothes in the closet and drawers. She
helps me find my stuff that I always lose (keys, glasses... ) Then
she makes sure I have a lunch to take with me to work. Then on top
of all that, she cooks me a hot breakfast each morning. Most
of the time it’s scrambled eggs and toast. (Yes, my doc says all
of those eggs are fine for me. I’ve asked...) Anyway, one day I
said something insensitive like, “Gee, scrambled eggs again?” So
she asked what else I wanted, and I said I’d like to try soft
boiled eggs once in awhile. (They aren’t the easiest thing to make
in high altitude, especially just the way I like ‘em,) But, she
makes them great each and every time.

And, here’s how the homework works. I’ll come home, check the
computer for homework scores, call the boys in one and a time, and
let them know what side their bread is buttered on, and I’ll make
no bones about. I tell them what I expect and to shape up. (Or
tell them that they’re doing good) If they have homework that
needs to be done, but she’s the one that ends up helping them.

There are countless errands to the bank, post office, and store
that she runs all of the time. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say
it again. I have a lot easier job then she does! So, I know, I’m one lucky boy!

Kudos Sweetie...

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


How smart is Your Right Foot ? ?

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon............

This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over
again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It's
preprogrammed in your brain!

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY...)
and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your
computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with you
right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

I told you so!!!

And there's nothing you can do about it!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done,
you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so !!!
~#1 Mom


A DJ was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for
Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven. Hey, Charlotte,
congratulations on a ripe old age!" There was a short pause and
then the DJ said in a somewhat more subdued voice, "I'm sorry, I
got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill."
~Wanda D.

How to install a security system;

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-
16 work Boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer
cans, a Copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke
and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more Ammunition. Back in an
hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman
this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took
part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
~Wanda D.


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