Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, May 01, 2006

5/1 - Practice make Perfect Politics

Monday, May 01, 2006

It’s going to be a long week. I don’t think I remember signing up
for marathon play practices when I first got the inkling to be a
star on stage. Our practices start tomorrow, and are every day
(except Sunday and Monday) until the play. It should be fun, I

Anyway, remember last week when I was in training all week. Well,
now it’s my turn to cover the guy who covered me while I was
training. So I’m doing double duty at work all week. I hope I can
hold my breath until Friday afternoon!

Oh, and we did buy a video camera tonight. And, I also bought a
tank of gas to boycott the boycott. I think we ought to do
something about the gas price problem. (And not throw $100 at the
problem. What a joke that idea is...) There is a bunch of oil
shale in Utah and Colorado. Let’s throw that money at oil shale,
extract the black gold from our country, then build another
refinery or two.

But, I digress. Enough of politics.

Today as I was working in my cohort’s area, I saw this saying
tacked up on a wall. It’s still one of my favorites quotes;

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot
of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is
that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow
up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high
degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull
than otherwise. Life is like an old time journey...delays,
sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only
occasionally by beautiful vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed.
The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
~~President Gordon B Hinckley, prophet and president of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!


In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to
some questions the teacher was asking. "Next question," announced
the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite
sex?" I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next
to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"


My blonde wife and I were playing Trivia for Dummies when she
amazed me by answering correctly that there are seven rays on
the crown of the Statue of Liberty. "How in the world did you know
that?" I asked. Rolling her eyes, she answered, "Duuuhh...the
seven original colonies!"


While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one
of the students asked me how to spell "piranha." I told him I was
unsure. To my delight, he went to the dictionary to solve his
problem. That's when I overheard another pupil say to him, "Why
bother to look it up? She doesn't know how to spell it anyway."


Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I
work. So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I
supervise. "Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the
speed limit is in our parking lot?" The long silence that followed
was interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends. Do you
mean coming in to work or leaving?"


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