Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, April 24, 2006

4/24 - Ahh... Ahh... Choo!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

This weekend, after another 4 hour play practice, I took son #3
out for his Saturday with dad. We ate a late lunch at the Subway,
and headed over to the Wal-Mart to see if they had life jackets
and canoe paddles to go with my dad’s canoe. We found the life
jackets, but Wal-Mart didn’t have any paddles. We’ll get dad’s
canoe in the water this summer yet!

Since we weren’t going to get wet, son #3 decided that he wanted
to play baseball. I bought him a mitt and a ball, and we played
catch for an hour or so after we got home. We had a great time,
until he threw the ball in the bushes and made me get it out. With
the dust and pollen in there, I spent the rest of Saturday and
most of Sunday with swollen shut eyes, runny nose, and a rash on
my arms and chest that’s still there today. Have you ever woken up
in the morning with ‘boogered shut’ eyes? I did. I haven’t had
that since I was a kid.

So, I’ve decided it’s probably time to see an allergist. (Hmm...
Would the study of allergies be called allergology? HA! Yes it is,
the internet just told me so...) Except, in order to get an
appointment, I need to find time to go. I’m in training every day
this week, next week I get to cover two areas so the other tech
can go to class. Then we have that little Disney trip son #4 and
Make a Wish are giving us. I think maybe I’ll just deal with the
allergies until summer try go get an appointment then.

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!


At long last the good-humored boss was compelled to call Fisk into
his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out,
"that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to
take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir,"
exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's
faking it, do you?"


A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her
dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin
fluttering, her hands float up above the table, and she begins
moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates saying,
"Granddaughter? Are you there?"

The woman, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds,
"Grandmother? Is that you?"

"Yes granddaughter, it's me."

"It's really, really you, grandmother?", the woman repeats.

"Yes, it's really me, granddaughter."

The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?"

"Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me."

The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question
for you."

"Anything, my child."

"Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"


The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" in a
casual manner, think about whether you want the "politicians"
spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising
agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective
in one of its releases.

a.. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

b.. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

c.. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone

d.. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

e.. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the
rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look
at New Orleans - It's amazing what you can learn with some simple

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently [September 2005
- Hurricane Katrina Disaster Relief and Economic Recovery Act]
asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans.

Interesting number, what does it mean?

Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every
man, woman, or child), you each get $515,810 each (That’s Half
Million Dollars!)

Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home
gets $1,328,014

Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,063,240.

Mary, is your calculator broke?


  • At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hello,Marty and Family:
    I'm a new subscriber to your site,and thoroughly enjoy the adventures of yourself and your family. I hope "Four" is fully recovered from his tumor.It's amazing how he can smile through it all!
    I'm sorry you're in misery with allergies. I can sympathize totally. It concerns me,though that you swelled up so badly.
    Rather than wait to see a specialist,is it possible to go to a "minor emergency" clinic ASAP and get started on some sort of
    long-term medicine ? Itching and sneezing is one thing,but when various things start swelling shut,that is serious. There are such things as "epi-pens",shaped like an ink pen,but containing epinephrine that you can inject immediately as you need it. It is available by prescription.
    Keep up the good work !


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