Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, April 17, 2006

4/17 - Taxing Hair Day

Monday, April 17, 2006

We made another trip to Randolph. This time we brought the whole
family. We got my dad’s canoe that I think was his grandfather’s
canoe. It’s still in pretty good shape. Hopefully we’ll be able to
use it later this summer. We also now have a camper for sale. If
you’re looking for a camper, this one is awesome! I don’t think it
was used more than once or twice. You can check out some pictures

Now for something a little funny...
The other day son #4 was trying to describe a lady at his school.
My sweet wife didn’t know who it was so she asked a few questions.
Finally he said, “It’s the lady with pretend hair.” Hmm... she
thought. If a class full of visually impaired pre-schoolers

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!

Reader Comment Section:

Hi, Marty--
I think of you all a lot--hope you are well; glad the scan was
clear! We did our Make A Wish to Disney just a few weeks ago; it
was truly one of the most amazing experiences we ever had. Give
Kids the World is beyond description--an entire resort built by
love. have an awesome time,
Kristin, Genna's mom


Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his booze, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.

Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"
And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance TAX


The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about
his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the
year. "Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said.
"I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, and the place
is closed only three days a year. And you want to know how I made
$80,000?" "It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said.
"It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you
and your wife." "Oh, that," the owner said, smiling. "I forgot to
tell you - we also deliver."
~debi s.~


Rabbi Rabinovitz answers his phone.
"Hello, is this Rabbi Rabinovitz?"
"It is."
"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"
"I'll try."
"Do you know Sam Cohen?"
"I do."
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is."
"Did he donate $25,000 to the synagogue rebuilding fund last
"Oh, He will!"


We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two
elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned
about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all
those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One
November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke
up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called
the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a
rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he
muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter!”


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