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Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

4/11 - Where's Nanny?

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where’s Justin?

For quite some time, many of you have asked, “Where’s Justin?”
(Justin is my neighbor’s son. He’s filled in on several Friday’s
that I like to take off with my family.) Rumor has it that Justin
is busy with tax season. But I think Justin is off traveling the
world.

Below are some clues where Justin is located. The first one to
come up with the correct answer gets a dinner with Marty and his
family. Probably something like spaghetti or meatloaf... (Travel
and accommodations not included)

Here’s an actual picture of the place Justin’s at.



-Justin is in the capital city of a nation.

-Most of this country's land is covered by grass.

-The capital city is quite large, with around 1/3 of the nation's
residents living there.

-This country experiences very hot summers and very cold winters.
January averages can hit -22F (-30C).

-This capital city is colder, on average, than any other national
capital.

-The geography of this country includes mountains, deserts, lakes,
and a stepped heartland.

-Once ruled by monarchs, this country has now adopted a more
democratic political system.

-Much of this country's history is defined by conflicts with its
neighbors and tribal wars within its present-day boundaries.

-This country has never won a gold medal in the Olympics, but it
has won 5 silver and 10 bronze medals since its athletes began
competing in the Olympics in 1964.

-When a cold winter follows a hot summer, this country experiences
extreme climactic conditions, including dust storms and blizzards,
that kill many people every year.

-This country generally has a low rate of precipitation, but
sometimes unusually high snowstorms will pile so much snow on the
land that herds of animals can drown.

-Nomadic Tibetan Buddhists comprise a little less than one third
of the population of this country.

-This country has an agrarian and mining economy. The principal
products mined are coal, petroleum, and copper.

Good luck!

For those of you who get this as email...
Enjoy today’s Jokes!
Marty

p.s. Went and saw Nanny McPhee for Family night last night. (Only
50¢ at the dollar theater. Such a deal!) My father in law liked it
very much. My sweet wife said, “Whoever filmed that sure liked
bright colors! And I give it a 3 out of 4 boys’ rating...)

=-=-=-
Reader Comment Section:

None today

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An oldie but a goodie!

HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE

1. Create a new folder in your PC.

2. Name it "Housework."

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN.

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete
Housework permanently?"

6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly......

7. Feel better?

~Krystal B.


<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~


While visiting my mother in the hospital, I stopped in the
cafeteria for breakfast. I set a piece of bread on the moving
toaster rack and waited for it to pass under the heated coils and
return golden brown. Instead, it got stuck at the back of the
toaster, and I couldn't reach it. The woman next to me in line
quickly seized a pair of tongs, reached in, and fished out the
piece of toast. I joked, "You must be an emergency room worker."
"No," she replied with a grin. "I'm an obstetrician."

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Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who
lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice
for Dad and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for $200.00,
which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00,
which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. Bills
for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called
his brother again to find out what was going on. "Well," said the
other brother, "You said to do something nice for Dad. So I rented
him a tuxedo."

=-=-=-

Bonus Joke:

A new Pastor in a small Oklahoma town spent the first four days
making personal visits to each of the members, inviting them to
come to his first services. The following Sabbath the church was
all but empty. Accordingly, the Pastor placed a notice in the
local newspapers, stating that, because the church was dead, it
was everyone's duty to give it a decent Christian burial. The
funeral would be held the following Sabbath afternoon, the notice
said.

Morbidly curious, a large crowd turned out for the "funeral." In
front of the pulpit, they saw a closed coffin, smothered in
flowers. After the Pastor delivered the eulogy, he opened the
coffin and invited his congregation to come forward and pay their
final respects to their dead church. Filled with curiosity as to
what would represent the corpse of a "dead church," all the people
eagerly lined up to look in the coffin. Each "mourner" peeped into
the coffin then quickly turned away with a guilty, sheepish look.
In the coffin, tilted at the correct angle, was a large mirror!!

2 Comments:

  • At 3:14 PM, Blogger Moon Rani said…

    Is Justin in Kathmandu?

     
  • At 7:35 AM, Anonymous jim wolfe said…

    Hi Marty, Long time reader here. Most of us have had 'downers' in our lives. Poop happens, we make mistakes. One cannot dwell on those times. We must seek out the good times and cherish those memories. Life is a long trip, which seems short as you age. That's a human brain malfunction. Enjoy life and do good for others.

    Then,,,, life is good,
    Jim in Indiana

    p.s. I have a niece and family in Salt Lake.

     

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