Marty's Joke of the Day

Marty's Joke of the day is an internet column that I've written for more than 5 years.
I tell humorous stories about my "sweet wife" and raising our 4 young sons, named #1, #2, #3, and #4.
After 5 years of story telling, in August of 2005, doctors found a brain tumor in son #4.
Our focus here has changed little as we still try to find humor in our lives.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Birthday Parties and Mice

Monday, November 08, 2004

Tonight was our annual birthday party night. You see in November we
have 7 or 8 birthdays in my sweet wife’s extended family. I’d name
them all here, but I’m sure I’d miss someone. We get together on
family night each November. We had cousins, aunts, uncles,
grandparents, and even a neighbor thrown in this year. When it came
time to sing ‘happy birthday’ we called another Aunt and Uncle in
California, with 2 or 3 November birthdays, and sang away. When it
came time for ‘happy birthday dear...’ it got pretty loud and
funny. But that’s how we do November birthdays.

Now, I wasn’t going to tell this story, ever, except I ran across
our first joke today, and figured maybe I should tell it.

We have a detached garage in our back yard that has all kinds of
cool stuff in it. Camping gear, old boys cloths, Halloween
costumes, Christmas stuff. You know, the stuff garages are made
for. Well, a day or two before Halloween, my sweet wife went out to
the garage to get the box of Halloween costumes for the kids. She
brought it inside. When I was down stairs I heard a loud
“EEEEEKKK!” from my sweet wife. Apparently she saw a mouse in the
box of costumes.

This was a good-sized box that was about 3 x 3 x 2 feet. We quickly
moved the box to the back porch and shut the door. Then I had the
honors of figuring out what to do next. Sometimes men don’t think
very rationally in situations like this.

I figured I’d (gingerly) pull off each piece of costume, and shake
it out very well. (Being careful not to touch or breathe any dust
for fear of the Hanta virus) As I worked my way down the box of
stuff, I saw the mouse jump every once in a while and crawl deeper.
Then, I saw two of them. Then 3, 4, and there ended up being 5 mice
in this box.

I was still wondering what was I going to do when I got to the
bottom? I asked my sweet wife for advice. She suggested just
getting our stuff out and putting the box in the garbage can. Great
idea. Except there’s a huge hole in the bottom of the box where the
mice will fall out if I pick the box up off of the porch. I got
most of the stuff out of the box, and one of the last things I took
out of the box was a large black wooden cat figure for Halloween
decorations. Was that poetic?

Ok, well, I’ll leave most of the details out from the rest of the
story, but suffice it to say, that’s why wives have husbands, and
that’s why we get to do all of the dirty work.

But, the story doesn’t end there.

I didn’t know if any of the mice got away before I counted them, or
if there were more in the garage. And, having 4 little ones running
around the house, I won’t buy rat or mouse poison. So off to the
store I went and got good old fashion ~snap~ mouse traps. One of
the traps found a mouse in the garage. Then last night I heard one
between the basement ceiling and the kitchen floor. I figured the
best place would be below the baseboard-heating vent. Have you ever
tried to set a mousetrap then gently set it inside a baseboard-
heating vent? I have, and it’s not easy.

Anyway, that trap found another one last night.

Let’s hope that’s all of ‘em!

Enjoy today’s Jokes!


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